I thought most people had proper etiquette but I was wrong.
Every one has their own financial circumstances however I have never attended a wedding and not brought a gift or.a card. I even sign cards and contribute to gifts for work colleagues in my Division I don't even know.
Even if I could not afford the price of the dinner plate I would at least buy a card and perhaps provide money I could afford -anything is better than nothing at all, gift certificate for dinner or for a nice bottle of wine.It is the thought that counts.
We are in the process of writing and sending thank you cards and including personalized professional individual photos of pictures we chose specifically for each guests which we paid to have developed for each thank you card.
Here is where we need your assistance.
We have 4 categories.
A - People who attended our wedding and gave a card and a gift.
B - People who attended our wedding and did not give a card or a gift.
C- People who did not attend our wedding and gave a card and a gift.
D - People who did not attend our wedding and did not give a card, a gift, did not call us, did email us, did not acknowledge our wedding whatsoever.
So people in categories A & C they attended our wedding and gave a card or gift or they did not attend our wedding but gave a card or gift - those thank you cards with professional photo -some framed was sent and mailed.
Here is where I need your advice. I gave a group of friends who attended the wedding, some gave gifts some did not gift gifts. The people who gave gifts I sent a thank you card with a professional photo the photographer did of the group of friends which I paid extra to have developed separately for the thank you cards.
I have a handful of friends who attended the wedding but did not send a card or gift so I did not send a thank you. These friends contacted us stating Karen and Elizabeth said they received a thank you card with a photo but I did not receive one.
History -Some of these people asked to borrow money from the groom - at the wedding which we have not seen yet despite the "I'll pay you tomorrow", "send me your email again and I'll send you the transfer", "did you get the transfer?" - knowing they did not send it. My husband wants to write these people off -some of which are our wedding party in which we both presented them with gifts the night before the wedding without even a thank you.
What would you do and how would you respond?
We paid for everything ourselves, out of all our friends we are the poorest they own homes/condos, cars, designer clothes, jewelry etc. kids in private school etc. and we are the ones struggling. My husband said we need to re-evalute our friends and distant ourselves from people who take advantage of us and our kindness. He is hurt as some of these people send him Facebook messages requesting his professional advice and he responds -which he can see they read as their face pops up and they do not even respond back and this has happened several times after the wedding so he is ready to right some of these people off. These are the same people who say we still need to pay you for the money we owe you...and he said ok here is my email address again for transfer and no response time and time again but they read it.
We have one close family member who not only did not attend the wedding, we did not RSVP we was not coming or coming, we followed up and he said I may surprise you. He did not call post wedding nor send email congrats or card and he phoned my mother to say he wants us to develop all the photos from the wedding and send the to him. - Yeah -no. So as he lives in the same neighbourhood should I run into him what should I say?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks
