Your thoughts on being "selfish" for a hot minute...

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Well said, Vinod. Appreciate you.

View quoted message Appreciate this, Tracey.

Wedding planning seems to have all of the feelings that you don't want to experience. Whether its the couple alone or with the help of parents, it all does add the stress from family, friends or the wedding party itself. In some ways, we all go through this knowing feelings will be defeated or agreed depending on what is being arranged.

Your wedding is about you and your partner...forget everyone else. That being said, I'm a people pleaser and have lived my life for everyone else. My fiance has worked hard for me to try to do more for us than others which include wedding planning. We have cut out guests, postponed, changed from venue to back yard, and I've been stressed, depressed and a mess. But I know it is our day and trying my best to concentrate on the OUR wedding day...suggest you do to.

As long as you and your fiance have the wedding you want, that's all that counts. Good luck.

View quoted message We have a small venue booked, if it were earlier on the year is probably move it outside to be safer but October is too cold. I love the venue, I really hope we can take masks off to eat appetizers by then!

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And to you, too.
No stress is the best stress

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Good on you

And it IS a bit of a balancing act, right. Especially Mums... Dad's (like me), just secretly want what's best for our daughters and couldn't really care about the fluff... as long as she's happy

Good luck with the reception Are you doing a venue? Backyard? How are you kicking it??

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It's so true...

Being able to make it about you with no recourse is kind of the blessing in all this.

Has that meant you've managed to cut your wedding #'rs down to make it work? Or still proceeding for something bigger, but waiting?? i.e. restrictions to lift?

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I love that quasi *egalitarian* approach with the firmness of it being your day. Personally, thats how I thought about it too

My wedding is for me. That eans getting married to my spouse is for me. But if my bridesmaids want to all have different style dresses in the same colour. Yep go ahead. If they want to wear flats vs heels. Its a long day. Do that. If my mom wants to invite her 3 best friends. Please do. And so on. I dont have a lot of people telling me what to do. But i also know most of the people surrounding me are the people who shaped me as i have grown. It is a day for my family and friends. They are extra happy for me. Im not trying to please eveeyone, but maybe im just easy going.

Something I’ve loved about planning with Covid is being able to not offend people when we can’t invite them in person!
Imagine a couple years ago telling someone that legal numbers are filled but they can watch online?
Lol people would have been offended. But now people are like ‘Thank you for including us! Can’t wait to share in your special day!’ And it’s been the perfect safety net for people who invite themselves to the wedding! Instead of telling them they can’t come, we can easily invite them to watch over zoom and everyone is happy.
It’s also really put into perspective who is important in our lives

I think for a lot of couples it's their day, but also a monumental moment for parents, grandparents, or important friends and family. So it becomes extra hard to say no when one of those people suggests something or has an opinion because they're invested or their so excited you don't want to hurt feelings.


My husband and I were already ready to say no to a lot of things, but covid made it sooo much easier. We're hoping to have our reception this year and we plan to be just as stubborn

One positive thing I hope comes out of the pandemic is that people will stop caring as much about what others think of their weddings and just do what they want. There is such a huge amount of pressure put on couples by family and friends and the wedding industry to spend tons of money on things they may not want or need, not to break any "rules" as to who you invite, to find the perfect wedding dress that makes you cry, lose weight, etc. I wonder how many people would choose to do these things if there were no expectations.

A happy sacrifice we made for our November wedding was that we got married with just 10 people present (us, officiant, photographer, my husband's immediate family, and two friends). My family unfortunately couldn't come due to restrictions but had they been there in addition to the 10 it would have been my ideal ceremony. I never wanted a normal wedding and would have been happy to elope but my husband is a bit more traditional and really wanted a big wedding. The pandemic obviously forced us to postpone our 100 person reception (new date TBD) but we decided that what was most important to us was that we got married, whether that be with 100 guests, or our immediate families, or just us.

I agree with you for sure. I don’t chat or ask questions on here to much anymore because some people have always have something to say. It drives me crazy. I know people are asking but people don’t need to be know it all’s all the time. I am not stressing we have been together for so long already and I am not getting hung up on the little things. I hope all the best for everyone.

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I mean, on the one hand you have people who spent tens of thousands of dollars already in deposits that are locked with no way out. I feel for them, especially during times when a lot of people have lost their jobs or had their income severely impacted from the pandemic. So they're either stuck trying to get an experience they paid for, which is pandemic doesn't allow at the moment, or go forward with something that's not their money's worth. In times when every dollar counts, it's tiring.

On the other, the wedding industry has been heavily influencing societal expectations on what a wedding should be. You can apply logic to it as much as you want but it's really hard to kick that mentality to the curb for some, regardless of the circumstances in the world. If you think what you see here is overly dramatic, you should see what people say on wedding-based Facebook groups or subreddits because what we have here on Weddingwire (especially the Canadian side) is tame lol.

View quoted message Thanks for your comment, Hank, all great points and I respect your input here bud.


I guess I read people fretting, stressed out and “hoping” for the best, with a looming date or responsibilities fast approaching.
At what point is enough, enough? Like, prioritising peace of mind and fun in the process vs. hanging on for everyone else...?
More of a thought from me than a question to you. But if you have a thought on this, love to hear it.
🙏

What happy sacrifices, if any, have you had to make to get to your wedding day feeling good?

I think you'll see different people do different things. Some will push their wedding as far as they can in order to achieve their "dream" aesthetic. Some will remain true to the idea that a marriage ultimately belongs to and is made by two people. Different strokes for different folks.