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Sarah
Expert August 2021 British Columbia

Would you be offended?

Sarah, on May 5, 2020 at 21:15 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 22
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So planning a wedding during a pandemic is pure and total hell!!We have decided that as long as the venue opens in time and the vendor team we have booked with is available the show will go on.I figured 50 people or less was going to be super easy as I dislike most people anyways or so I thought lol.Turns out I have a lot of people I couldn’t live without 🥰 and that’s where the problem kicks in..Would you be offended if you were invited to watch the ceremony and have a couple of hours soaking up the sun and playing yard games with the happy couple but weren’t invited to the wild reception?Some of the people don’t drink at all or have little children,immune disorders etc and likely wouldn’t stay for a late reception.I want those people to be able to enjoy the celebration and have a low key social distanced shindig so I can have the party animals come later..Maybe show them the video of us getting married and start drinking,dancing and eating pizza.Would you be offended if you were in one group but not the other considering how hard it is to social distance or would you appreciate being able to celebrate somehow with us?

22 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on June 18, 2020 at 18:23
  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    We postponed 😢 the risks just weren’t worth it.We rebooked for the same day August.29th but for 2021.We secured all of the same vendors without any issues and have even added a few extras that we didn’t have a budget for beforehand.Our would be wedding date this year we are throwing a socially distanced party to kick off the new wedding date count down.
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  • Elly
    Beginner October 2022 Ontario
    Elly ·
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    I agree with pretty much everyone else lol! These are mad times we live in.. mad! I don't think anyone will be offended. Sounds like you're trying to accommodate both groups and make it fun for everyone in difficult circumstances. Smiley smile

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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    Were thinking about doing a zoom live stream for people who dont feel comfortable attending. i feel like if all your family has been taking precautions and they arent sick they shold be ok. see if ur venue can give bigger distance between the tables to keep the 6ft distance

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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    Oh perfect thanks for sharing ♥️ I think we will hold out and see if they allow 60 or more before mid June and if so we will go ahead as planned.Everything is so all over the place that it’s hard to know what to do.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    No guests should feel offended if you budget can't fit the B list guests for the after party. This is your call as i do remember my brother, who got married back in 2000 having 500 guests for the ceremony and 1000 guests for reception. There wasn't a complaint from guests who couldn't make it for 1 or the other.
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  • Liga
    Devoted June 2021 Quebec
    Liga ·
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    I think if wedding is happening during this time! No one should be too offended, since all this happens and limits your possibilities! But it sound more complicated! So it is good to think twice is it easier to do wedding now or next year! But I would not feel offended, since what ever you would decided to do during this time is more understandable!

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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    I really needed to hear that ♥️ I’m currently heart broken.The excitement left about a month ago when everything started getting cancelled.No bridal shower,bachelorette or stock the bar parties.We had 3 birthday parties cancelled as well because of this BS.I really hope the excitement returns it’s been a long process planning this wedding.In the back of my mind I keep thinking what if..What if the ban is lifted before my wedding and I called it too early or what if people still don’t come..My biggest what if is what if we go ahead and someone gets sick.I couldn’t live with that and neither could my future husband.Been together 11 years another year sucks but it’s not the end of the world..Unless 2020 has more BS in store for the world 😩
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  • V
    Frequent user September 2021 Ontario
    Veronica ·
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    I can totally relate, because before we postponed, I also was creating all these different scenarios. 30, 40, 50 people, separate events, live streaming, etc... until it got too confusing like you mentioned, it’s so hard selecting from family and friends. Once we postponed then that excitement came back almost instantly knowing that we will be able to have our wedding exactly like envisioned, we just have to wait a little bit longer. All the best to you and your special day, it will be beautiful no matter what you choose Smiley smile
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    Looks like we are going to postpone.I can’t see myself only inviting people to one or the other.
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    No we are not.My future husband wants to do it all in one go.He wants to see my son walk me down the aisle in the stunning dress that he picked out by accident.We are already common law and have been together for 11 years.It just doesn’t make sense to risk everyone’s safety especially if we can’t have everything the way we wanted.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I am so sorry that your wedding is being effected by this darn Covid-19 Smiley sad

    Will you still be looking to legally get married on your 2020 date? I know that I got married Oct. 2019, but as long as we were able to get a certificate we would have still gotten legally married and then celebrated the next year. We had been planning our wedding for almost 2 years so no way would I want to wait any longer for the legalities! And if either of you are changing your last names then at least you could get this done so that when/if you go on a honeymoon you will have your new last name(s)?

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  • V
    Frequent user September 2021 Ontario
    Veronica ·
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    It all depends on how close I am with the couple, but if I was invited to the ceremony only and not the reception, I agree with Tori and I probably would RSVP no. Especially since social distancing will still be in effect. But that’s just me! I feel I would be less offended if the couple down to like 5-10 people. But it’s youre cutting it to 50 people then I might question why I was chosen, again it depends how close I would be to the couple. That’s just my two cents, please don’t take it the wrong way!


    I’m sure whatever you and your hubby will choose will be a great day for you both Smiley smile
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  • Clauds
    Frequent user August 2020 Ontario
    Clauds ·
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    That’s a tough situation to be in. I’m sorry Smiley sad I for sure would postpone in that case and have the event once everything has cleared. Your guests will probably be happy they will all be able to attend safely.
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    Even with cutting many family members I can’t get below 57 people with vendors included.My heart is broken because my boys will not be able to stand with us.We focused on raising our blended family and becoming financially secure/debt free and that was the entire reason we waited so long to get married.Now I feel we have no choice but to wait the extra year and hope this situation is clear by then.
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    Thanks I just can’t wrap my head around everything that we have had to cut back or scrap altogether because of this horrible virus.I did a pros and cons lost for 2020 and 2021 and I’m shocked.I had 9 pros for this year and 11 cons and 12 pros for next year and only 5 cons 😩 as much as I tried to avoid it I’m thinking it’s best to postpone..Every single one of my vendors has been amazing and have held my August.29th date for next year and it just feels silly to hang on to the hope of a 2020 celebration..Now if I could just make the tears stop 😢
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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    I’m so torn because the officiant I originally wanted was just out of reach for our budget this year but if we take another year he is available and I could really make it my dream wedding.I love your idea but I think I’m going to postpone so that everyone can come and enjoy the entire wedding start to finish.
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  • Clauds
    Frequent user August 2020 Ontario
    Clauds ·
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    I am in a similar predicament but it is my on my fiance's side as I will only have 5 family members who will be attending and a small group of close friends. We are hoping that since lot of his family lives out of the province, they will not be too upset if we need to cut them from our invite list.

    Like most others have mentioned, unless it is immediate family or close friends, I don't think they will be as offended.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I wouldn't be offended before the virus - and I especially now wouldn't be offended because of the virus! Only thing is that I honestly would RSVP as not attending if I was only invited to the ceremony but that's my personal thought/choice on the matter. (I would still send a card congratulating the bride & groom and have intentions of celebrating in person once covid-19 subsides.)

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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    Personally I would not be offended.


    I would make the invites very clear so that you don't run the risk of party A guests mingling with party B guests and throwing off the numbers. If you know you need the ceremony people gone by 6, give time for stragglers before the second party begins. Maybe have a family only or even private dinner in between as a buffer, this way you have a way of getting rid of the early people and stalling the later ones a bit.
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  • K
    Devoted August 2021 Nova Scotia
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    I would expect that the majority of people will be understanding, given the circumstances. Personally I’d be okay with it, unless it was a very close friend or immediate family member getting married. And even if some of your guests are a little hurt or put off, most will presumably keep those feelings to themselves (“most” being the key word, a few uncomfortable exchanges may be unavoidable. Just stand your ground).


    I also think you’re smart to divide the celebration in the manner you’ve suggested (i.e. into the family friendly afternoon portion and the evening portion better suited to younger folks) and invite a different group to each (save for VIPs who should obviously stick around all day). Hopefully this will minimize feelings of “not making the cut” among the afternoon group. Instead, you’re just including them in the aspect of the celebration that better suits them. I would definitely stick with that messaging.
    Good luck!!



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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2021 British Columbia
    Sarah ·
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    It would likely be a coworker with diet restrictions,someone that gets out of line if drinking and a few little ones that would go home early.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I think for me it depends on how close I was to the bride and groom to begin with. If we aren’t that close, I wouldn’t be offended in the least.


    If I was close to the couple, I probably would be offended. However, if the couple spoke to me before hand and let me know due to the pandemic the guest list had to be tightened and there wouldn’t be room for me, I’d probably be ok with that.
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