Who to invite?

We invited 45 people and I left out most of my family. I have 13 Aunts and Uncle's and over 40 cousins. Other than my immediate family, I'm only inviting 7 relatives. We suffered a miscarriage at 13 weeks recently and only heard from 2 people! That's completely OK as we don't have a relationship, but it made cutting them out easy. On the most important day of my life, I only wanted people who I have a genuine relationship with. Having so few people is allowing us to go all out a bit more and provide a top notch experience for our loved ones.

I feel you, so this was the same situation but I had 45 people just on my own and my Hubby had about 10. I spoke to my partner we came to a compromise that we would have a small wedding, mainly do to our budget. I made it fair for him and myself to have even numbers on each side.

When it came to sending out the save the dates, I posted a messaged saying that as much as we would love to have everyone we love with us on our big day the budget was just not there, but once we were married we would do a trip to see friends and family and we could celebrate one on one with us as husband and wife. Everyone understood and were very supportive.

Now how to choose? How long have we been friends, when was the last time we hung out, when was the last time we spoke, and I did the same for family. Do I talk to you daily, do I only hear from you once and a while, do I have to chase you, do I have to always make the effort?

Be honest with him, tell him that the wedding is 30 people, you have your 15 and he needs to decide his 15 people.

I hear you about your numbers and wanting to keep that "intimate" feeling.

My husband and I had 23 people so extremely small but it was all family and his best friend and wife and my best friend and husband that was it and I have to say one of my favourite parts was looking around the room during our speech and seeing all the faces I did - no more no less - it truly is special to have an intimate guest list. That being said, even at 50-60 I think that can still feel intimate BUT it can depend on the people you have there - if you feel like it's leaning more towards a loud "kegger" type of outdoor party I would express this concern to your fiance. Hopefully he can look at his numbers again and see if there is any room to scale back?

Invite who you guys want to invite, Our guest list is a strict no more than 40 people because our venue does not allow more (we booked a room at a restaurant). I think you should discuss with your fiancé about the maximum amount of people you both agreed too and that it is unfair to ask you to revise your list even smaller to accommodate his large one.

With our 40 person max list - I mostly have family and a few friends coming and my fiancé mostly has friends and a few family members coming BUT we are pretty on par for an even amount of people from both sides invited. It is not like I have 30 people and he has 10 people. I have 21 people coming and my fiancé has 19. So it is fairly even.

We made our guest list based on importance on our lives and when we last spoke with them. it turns out our wedding will be a family reunion on my side and a high school reunion on my FHs side

I agree with Amanda. Invite who you want to invite. You cannot please everyone. It turned out I had slightly more than my FH. We made our list of close friends/family and then added a "frugal" list of potentials incase we didnt meet our total. But in the end, it's your day and you should not be feeling bad about not inviting the world.

My husband and and I only invited immediate family and our very close friends to our wedding. We had 41 guests. Don't worry about making people feel left out or forgotten. This is your wedding day and you're allowed to invite whoever you want. If people get mad or upset for not getting an invite, that's on them not you.