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Jessica
Beginner July 2020 Ontario

Who is supposed to plan the stag and doe?

Jessica, on July 31, 2019 at 14:41 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 16

I always thought the wedding party is supposed to plan the stag and doe but my bridal party has been giving me a lot of push back saying it's my responsibility. Everything I google says its the bridal party...


16 Comments

Latest activity by Cassie, on August 1, 2019 at 12:15
  • C
    Curious April 2020 Alberta
    Cassie ·
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    Stag & Bach Parties should be planned by the wedding party - typically it should be your maid of honor and best man who take the reigns. When it comes to a bridal shower - Mother of the Bride and bridal party should also do the planning.


    At least that's what we're doing. You are already planning the biggest day of your life - shouldn't have to plan everything. It's your big day and people are supposed to continually celebrate you & your other half!

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  • Erin
    Super May 2022 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    It's been my experience that the bride and groom plan everything and the wedding party works the party ie running games like crown and anchor, sells tickets, jello shots, helps in finding prizes to raffle off and maybe makes a salad or some food for the event.

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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    I'm pretty sure it's the couple's responsibility. Since it's a fundraiser type thing. The wedding party should work the event but typically it's the couple the plan and host it. Your wedding party can help if they are available.
    We didn't do one so we didn't really have to worry about it but from what I've seen here and friends it's always been the couple planning.
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Every wedding I've ever been in its been the wedding party who puts it on. Everything except the big door prize and booze which bride and groom contribute... The booze is ok because whatever you don't sell you take back. I guess it depends on your wedding party. If they won't then, you'll have have to do it yourself.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    This answer can go 2 ways depending on the views.

    1. WEDDING PARTY: all members plan to throw you putting equal costs into planning for games, prizes, food and to give you a good time partying.

    2. COUPLE: Bride & Groom can plan themselves if chosen with games, silent auction, 50/50 draw and food. Wedding party can help by attending the stations to sell tickets, play games and gathering the prizes/sheets for silent auction.

    If your wedding party isn't wanting to go through the planning, then have them as your guests paying their way and ask family to help out at the event so that it can be fun and entertaining for them as well enjoying their time with you.

    We luckily had our MOHs and the girls from the salon put a Buck & Buck for us months prior to our actual day.

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  • K
    Frequent user September 2022 Ontario
    Katrine ·
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    It is traditionally the wedding party’s responsibility to plan the stag & doe. The bride has enough on her plate with the wedding planning.
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  • Shelise
    Newbie July 2021 Ontario
    Shelise ·
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    Bride & Groom’s responsibility for sure! The wedding party sells tickets and on the day of has a job - entry table, game, working the bar.
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    The prices of weddings is insane!! Looking back at our Social the one thing that I would change is the venue- they were great but they only held 300 and we had to turn away quite a few people as we sold out over a month prior... Then again I have been to and heard of socials that don't sell out and some Stag & Doe's that don't turn out and end up with couples breaking even at best... As long as you and your FH have LOTS of friends (preferably with money to spend) then it is worth all the work!

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    Thats what we did!

    I took care of venue, ordering alcohol, alcohol permit, insurance, mix, getting donations.

    The wedding party sold tickets for the event, made an event page on Facebook and shared it lots, got donations from businesses for raffles, helped set up and take down event. We had meeting to discuss event prior and I made a schedule for where they were the whole night.

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  • Jessica
    Beginner July 2020 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    Oh that sounds very similar to a stag and doe! The only difference is the games, but the time, the prizes and the drinking are the exact same!

    I know a lot of places don't understand the concept but to me, I think of it like the grooms wedding. He gets to wear whatever he wants, drink with his friends and invite all his hockey friends that may not make the wedding list.

    And who are we kidding? WEDDINGS ARE EXPENSIVE! No matter what you do it is expensive to host 100 -200 people in one location with food and alcohol. So yes the money part of stag and doe's is extremely helpful!

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    A wedding social is basically a big party with raffle prizes. We don't have any games and a wedding social is usually held at a community centre from 8pm-1am. Lots of drinking!! lol

    Here's the link to my discussion about my social to give you a better idea of what I'm talking about: Wedding Social Complete!

    Here in Manitoba it would be weird to NOT have a social because it's literally called a "Manitoba Social". Other provinces turn their nose up to the idea of a fundraiser and I think Ontario/Quebec are the only ones who do something similar which would be a Stag & Doe but from what I've heard they take place earlier in the day and it's more like a fair because of the games.

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  • Jessica
    Beginner July 2020 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    What is a wedding social! That sounds so much better!


    We of course plan on paying for it, I just wasn't sure if it was tacky to basically host your own fundraiser? or if it's worse to ask for help.

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  • Jessica
    Beginner July 2020 Ontario
    Jessica ·
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    Thanks so much for the help!

    I am thinking maybe I do the bulk of the planning (venue, food, drinks) and then the wedding party helps with games and ticket selling?


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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    I have been a part of a few and the couple always planned it. Your party should be helping with donations, and set up and selling tickets and things like that.. but ultimately, the couple mostly does the planning or you at least all do it together.

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  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    The old way was the wedding party but its more so the bride and groom who do everything and you just ask the wedding party to set up, plan it at meeting like when closer to who will run what etc.

    I had my buck and doe recently- we did it all. we had a meeting prior two months to discuss schedule, decide on games, and make sure didn't forget anything!


    We did ask them to donate something to the raffle table or as a prize for the games though- it did't matter if they had asked a local business for donation or bought something.

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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    Well I can't speak for Stag & Doe's as I had a Wedding Social and they are a bit (mostly) different - but as much as the wedding party is supposed to help out the Bride and Groom are the ones that are paying for it and getting the liquor & gambling license.

    Basically it would be up to you and your FH to plan it and to assign tasks to them such as putting together a prize each for the raffle, schedule them to work each booth (Stag & Doe's have games right?), etc.

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