Where to say i do?

You two seem strongly about the local wedding and wanting your family to understand rather than giving you grief.

The best thing that can come out of this situation is to go about what you want and still have your wedding in your town and those who make it will be there for you both celebrating your happiness.

After all done in your town, you can arrange to have a small gathering with those guests and family to come out in your hometown to celebrate your wedding. Talk to a community center coordinator and get quotes as a start and go from that point.

This is done a lot due to destination weddings and travelling costs where most guests can't take the time off or don't have passports in some cases. Look into it and see if this solution works with your family too.

Does anyone know why people assume that you’ll have the wedding in the hometown, rather than where the couple lives? I don’t understand.. our immediate family also wants us to have our wedding in the town we went to high school and where our immediate family lives now. They can’t fathom why we don’t want to have the wedding in our hometown, even though we hate the place and we only live 3 hours away now..

Congrats! We all probably understand family pressure so you're in good company.

I think that if you want to have your wedding where you live than go for it. If people want to make it and it's important to them then they will show up no matter the distance. I had one of my bridesmaids travel from South Korea to attend my wedding.

Congratulations!!! Trust me, we know where you're at. One second everyone's congratulating you... and in the same breath they are trying to tell you what you should do for the wedding.

I'd say just from what you've said here... Do it where you live. Family who matters, and who prioritize you, they will make the trip. The logic of not going with what you want because of people who won't travel for you?? It's messed up. If they want to be there, they will make it happen.

All of your choices now moving forward, go with your gut. Go with what you and your FH want. Stand your ground. Figure out how you're going to deal with certain stubborn family members, and stick to your guns! It's YOUR big day. YOU need to be happy. Everyone else is secondary.

CONGRATS on the engagement! how exciting!!

best answer you can honestly say on almost EVERYTHING is "we haven't decided that yet". People will still give opinions. its inevitable. my FMIL is very opinionated on things. we just tell her stuff as we need to.

at the end of the day. weigh the pros and cons of each location. and go from there. and do what you and your fiancé want to do.

One thing my sis in law said planning a wedding from out of town was difficult (and they were only 3 hours away). because they would have to cram visiting all of their vendors into a weekend they were down (and that took away from family time).

I also think you should have the wedding wherever you want to have your wedding.

My my fiancé and I were initially confused as well. I am from Europe, my family live there, so we considered a few of these countries and cities. He is from Edmonton, his whole family live there and we live in London, On.

We initially said we would do it in London, but budgeting our wedding showed that we could not afford accommodation for our guests. So we changed our plans and are getting married in Edmonton, since his family is waaaaaaay bigger than mine.

I would recommend you do the same thing, break down the budget and see which one is the most convenient.

We had a similar decision to make. I really wanted to get married in my hometown (which is 4.5 hours away from where we live, but my fiancé wasn't convinced since he thought that his family (some of whom live even further away) wouldn't want to travel so far and pay for accommodation. So we tried to find a compromise, and we even considered doing it somewhere in the middle.

In the end, getting married in my hometown was the least stressful option for us, as I already knew venues and vendors there. But getting everyone to come was never a priority for me, my mental well-being was. I figured that the people who really cared about us who still come, and I was right. The people who are not coming are either cousins that we barely ever see or people who have very good reasons (like being on honeymoon or being due to give birth a few days later).

I had the same problem here while I was looking at venues in Quebec. Many are really expensive and we couldn’t afford it. I was worried that no one would come if we chose a further location but my fiancé told me “if they don’t want to make an effort and drive a few hours for us, do they really deserve to be part of our day?” I think he’s right, you should do it where you like and as you want it. If they don’t want to come, it’s their problem not yours. Everyone is going to have an opinion about what you decide for every part of the wedding, I think you have to decide what’s best for you and your FH!

Congrats!

Your rant may have a possible solution that may work for you two. Have your wedding at the choice of location. Let your family know you would have a reception with the family back home in Newfoundland. That way you can have them happy and see them too.

It will be a win win case.

First off, congratulations! Secondly, have your wedding wherever you and your FH want to! It's about you two, and those who love you and choose to make it, will.

Congrats! And ultimately you have to make choices that are right for the two of you. If the questions and opinions are becoming too much just be honest with your family and say "we haven't decided on anything yet and really just want to take some time to enjoy this new phase in our relationship before we jump into wedding planning. We will let you know when we have more information to share."

And key with overly opinionated families (mine is also) is to keep most of the details to yourself. My family is just really happy and excited for us but our taste and what we want for the day does not match with the vision most of my family has of my wedding day so I'm just sharing details with my parents and the rest can be surprised on the day.

I have moved 12hrs away from my immediate family. My fiancés immediate family is 15min away and a lot of them live where we will have the wedding (only a few hours from where we live). It was going to be too hard on us to plan one back in my hometown (which is where my family had all assumed I'd have it). When I went home I was confronted with why we didn't have it there as it's now costing them so much money to go compared t his family. I explained it was about picking somewhere that had to worked for us first and that was planning something closer to new home. They eventually understood.

Do what you feel is right. Half of my family is 5 hours away from the city I live in and I had to just come to terms with knowing that there is a high chance that they will not make the trip. It doesn't make the day any less magical and I will still get what I always envisioned. If they can afford it then family will usually go out of their way if they can. Keep in mind - my FH's cousin had to cancel his wedding because not enough people rsvp'd as coming (although they had planned a destination wedding) and had to put the wedding off for a year. If my wedding ends up being 70% his family and only 30% mine - I won't care! My parents will be there and my sister will be there, and I feel like it would be the same with you if you decide to have the wedding in the city you live in currently. OH! AND CONGRATULATIONS ON THE ENGAGEMENT!!!!! lol and welcome to the community.