What % rsvp declines did you receive?

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Do not over invite and hope for the best. We had some surprising yes RSVPs come in. We invited 230 and will probably be around the 200 mark but that's only because some people had plans change leading up to the day and some friends are choosing to leave the kids at home and have a kid free weekend with friends. We very well could of have everyone show up.
Your best bet is to initially limit plus ones or save a second set of invites for when people RSVP no. I would send family first and ask for RSVPs sooner if you know they are a no.

I've also heard that the decline rate is 20% for most people, HOWEVER, I have also heard from several people that everyone they invited RSVPed "yes". Only invite the max amount of people that your venue can seat and put everyone else on the "B-List" to invite when "no's" RSVP.

I was always told to expect 20% decline? To keep our hall we have a MINIMUM of 175 people and right now have 210 on the invite list!

We initially invited 126 people, but then added a partner and a few kids (we didn't invite kids apart from our nephews and niece because of numbers, but we didn't say no when our friends asked if they could bring their 3 kids - we see them every week and love them very much, so we really didn't mind).

Out of 130 people, 80 ended up coming. But I have to say that the city where we got married is quite a long distance from where most of guests live. And I invited all of my cousins knowing that just one would likely come (and I was right).

While you can't use the 'small wedding' excuse, you can still tell people that you have huge families and have decided to invite only those who were closer to you.

Our guest list was 80 and 72 showed up (given a rude guest with his bf and mother). I would say 10% said no and filled the seats with my MOH parents and unwanted guest my husband invited despising my opinion about it. Plus 4 vendors fed came to 76 total.

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I've already cut kids, coworkers, and plus ones for people who are not currently in relationships lol. Thanks for your advice though, and YES be grateful for your small families hahahaah

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To my parents if you're cutting one person from the family you're cutting the whole family and I wouldn't want to do that because I do want some of them there. I am in a hard place because my wedding IS large so I can't use the 'i'm having a small wedding' excuse. I've already cut kids and coworkers so it's just family we're having a hard time with.

View quoted message I’m half Italian, my father’s side is huge with dozens of second and third cousins, but we opted not to follow the rule of inviting them all because we aren’t close. If you aren’t close to them in particular, haven’t been invited to their events or seen them in over a certain amount of time, I would pass on inviting them. Sometimes if you invite every single person, some can perceive this as just wanting a gift. Have you spoken to your parents as to who is *absolutely essential*? Hope it works out!

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Oh jeez, yeah, no kids will save you a hundred people right there. We are having no kids, and even at only 100 adults, it cut 35 people from the guest list.

I understand the siblings/connections situation... My fiance debated inviting one cousin he is closer with, because he's not wanting to invite their brother and sister and their spouses... And honestly, we just aren't. Our wedding is small enough, we can tell the 2 cousins invited that they are the only ones, and they are just staying quiet. However in your case, I see the issue with people finding out how large your guest list is, and then them being cut... *sigh*...

My best advice is try and have a line drawn somewhere, such as the no kids... like, "no plus ones unless we know their names"... Oh, we did that, and about 14 single guys aren't getting plus ones... but we don't feel bad, because we don't want random girls at our wedding we've never met before... Or maybe no work colleagues? Eek. I'm really grateful for our small families right now!

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My problem is we both come from big Italian families and there are a few second cousins (aka my dad's first cousin) that we do spend a lot of time with. I can't invite that second cousin but not invite her sister, even though we don't see each other as much. Same thing with aunts and uncles, there are some I see more than others but if they are from the same family it would be rude not to invite them. I am drawing the line at kids though, no kids!

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Not yet - still too early so I still have a choice as to whether I want to or not.

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We will be doing this at the 1 year mark (October) but only to the first batch of people we are inviting. Most people won't ask where their Save the Date is because then it's asking "am I not invited??" which is not very polite to ask. As well, some people don't send Save the Dates at all in general so there's always that.

Unfortunately... some people just have to be B-listed... It's veeerrry dangerous to "expect no's"... because you never know who's going to decide to be the best 2nd cousin ever and show up...

I only have a guest list of about 106 people. We've cut people (the extended cousins, distant aunts/uncles, and children)... to kind of avoid even inviting the people who probably wouldn't come, and to allow more budget for other things by keeping the guest list down.

However, in your case, I think you really need to have a hard, sit down talk with both sets of parents, with both you and your fiance, and force them to get the guest list to about 280. You can have B-listers, where they are invited in a particular order, as you receive declined RSVPs... however not only do you have a chance that everyone says yes (unlikely, but there's a chance)... you'll also have people trying to bring extra guests... extra plus ones, their kid, their friend's kid... whatever... People are weird when it comes to RSVP-ing for a wedding...

You'd be surprised... one my in-laws started cutting a few people here and there, they cut 18 people in one sitting. I know it's different for everyone, but I would say, start lower, and allow for more people/substitutions later, when you know you have the room.

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Did you send save the dates at all?

B-list, perhaps? I would avoid sending out invitations with the hope that you’ll receive enough declines to hit the number you want, just because you want to avoid potentially exceeding capacity of your venue.

Our wedding guest max is 250 for the venue but our list with plus ones exceeds 300 so we are in the same boat. To avoid too many people saying yes - we are sending out some invitations at the 5 month mark with a deadline of the 3 1/2 month mark. Then we will see how many more spots are there and send out more invitations with a new deadline of the 2 month mark. (Which means that yes, we will have 2 sets of invitations with a different RSVP date but same information.)

Side note - some people may think that guests will talk about it but I don't care. Talk all you want; I invited you when I knew that there would be room for you. It's not my fault we have a lot of family and friends with a small budget!