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Curious October 2022 Ontario

Wedding Vows! Who's writing their own?

Brooke, on October 22, 2021 at 16:33 Posted in Wedding ceremony 0 14

Hello brides!

My wedding is a year away but I've contemplated on the idea of writing my own vows. My fiance is a shy guy and is most likely going to request to do the traditional "repeat after me" which is totally okay, but I've always thought of making our ceremony that much more personal and emotional by writing our own vows. I've drafted up a letter that I want him to read on the day of our wedding so there is the opportunity to get more personal and emotional without an audience, and it would make him feel more comfortable, but I was wondering how many brides and grooms out there are writing their own vows? I'd love to hear ideas!


Latest activity by Abbie, on October 29, 2021 at 07:35
  • Abbie
    Featured June 2022 Nova Scotia
    Abbie ·
    • Dispute
    I love the idea of personalized vows but my fiancé is a little worried about the pressure. I think we’re going to write each other letters to give first thing to each other first thing in the morning (we’re not staying in separate rooms) and then maybe add one personalized line to the traditional vows. Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • Jamie
    Frequent user June 2022 British Columbia
    Jamie ·
    • Dispute

    We are going with traditional vows with a very small portion written by us. I HATE public speaking, always have...but I have been to a few weddings where the couple says their own little piece and I just thought it was so special. To make it easier, I just keep telling myself that I am talking TO Mark and not to the crowd =)

    • Reply
  • T
    Curious May 2022 Alberta
    Tracy ·
    • Dispute

    I basically wrote my ceremony whole script, we will see how it goes lol

    I was surprised but my fiancé did want to do personal vows (he said as long as I'm ok with him stealing ideas off the internet but of course who does anything completely original when you have internet to get ideas from!)

    • Reply
  • Carly
    Newbie February 2024 Ontario
    Carly ·
    • Dispute

    My fiancé is super shy, and I am an emotional mess so we're doing the same thing that Liberty is doing! We're going to do our own, personal vows just in front of each other and our photographer and videographer during the first look, and then we're doing the traditional vows during the ceremony. I think it's a happy medium, and will actually be really special to be able to speak openly and honestly to each other without having to censor ourselves or have the nerves of standing in front of everyone!

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda Online ·
    • Dispute

    My fiance and I aren't writing vows. We're just going with the tridiagonal vows

    • Reply
  • Rere
    Frequent user September 2022 Ontario
    Rere ·
    • Dispute
    We will be doing ours, pretty nervous but we feel it would be special to do so.
    • Reply
  • Alyx
    Featured September 2022 Alberta
    Alyx ·
    • Dispute
    I want to do our own vows , my fiancé doesn’t really want to but he’s doing it because he knows it’s special to me. We aren’t doing a first look or a letter to each other prior. I’m not expecting his to be as long as mine (lol he’s not a public speaker) but it’s still a special moment!
    • Reply
  • Sharlene
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Sharlene ·
    • Dispute
    We wrote our own. I am terrified 😨 of public speaking. But it felt more special to have our own vows. I didn't memorize them. I read from a piece of paper. The pressure to memorize them was just too much for me personally.
    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    Definitely not doing our own vows. Going to do more traditional vows.
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Featured September 2022 Ontario
    Meghan ·
    • Dispute

    We are not writing our own vows my fiancé and I both are shy and hate speaking in front of people so the speech's are good enough for us but still dreading it haha

    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    We didn't as my husband isn't much for speaking in public. We did the traditional vows for the most part.
    • Reply
  • Carmel
    Featured December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
    • Dispute
    My husband felt the same but I convinced him to do them joint. We each wrote our own and then divided them up by similarity (or edited them) and that way we each said one line back and forth. There was a lengthier piece for each of us at the beginning and the end (by lengthier I mean like a sentence or two longer than the rest). We got so many compliments on our vows and we're both so happy with how it turned out.
    • Reply
  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty Online ·
    • Dispute
    My Fiancé and I are doing a first look so we can read each other letters before the ceremony. Both of us love the idea of personalized vows but didn't want to recite them in front of all a bunch of people so we thought this was the perfect solution for us
    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    My wife and I did our own vows. She is super shy but she still did it anyway (though she felt forced into it after I said I would personalize mine lol). If it helps him, let him know they don't need to be long or incredibly soul bearing. Just a few phrases about how they feel is all they need.

    If he has trouble writing, finding a nice quote from a book or movie to anchor it would make it easier.

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