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Vanessa
Beginner June 2022 Quebec

Wedding Planning Reality Check

Vanessa, on February 6, 2022 at 23:19 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 12
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So I'm the first in my friend group to plan a wedding. I'm also the first of my siblings getting married (and probably the only one). I've heard wedding planning was hard I just didnt expect it to be THIS hard... Just wondering if anyone else can relate. All my close family has been super dramatic: divorced parents treating this like a competition, mother stopped speaking to me for 2 weeks and just overall crazy requests and MAJOR guilt tripping.


Honestly, I'm also starting to see where the 'bridezilla' comes from. Vendors are so overwhelmed you have no choice but to be mega organized and really know your stuff. And people are just trying to get their way all the time. I really was aiming to be very open and accommodating but it feels like its backfiring.
Lastly, I just realised with all this how selfish people can be. I thought the maid of honor is the bride's right arm but that really isnt the case for me. My overall bridal party seems way more vocal with their concerns and criticisms vs their excitement and support.
Was anybody else just majorly let down by people's behavior such as close family and friends? Did covid make it all harder?

12 Comments

Latest activity by Vanessa, on February 12, 2022 at 09:55
  • Vanessa
    Beginner June 2022 Quebec
    Vanessa ·
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    Yes sometimes we make decisions that arent easy and we have to sacrifice one thing over the other. My feeling is there is no perfect wedding and there will be things looking back you would have done differently. It can be hard comparing to the traditional ways and feel that we are missing out or had to compromise.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Very true and honestly it felt as it the whole thing didn't feel complete as everyone goes through the prayers and events the same way and missing those parts of it from your celebration. The feeling of going simple as the fusion wedding gave us the best of both worlds; yet not to the fullest.

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  • Vanessa
    Beginner June 2022 Quebec
    Vanessa ·
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    I'm glad to hear it went well overall! I notice that there are many little unwritten rules about marriage, especially when it comes to culture. I am part Spanish and my fiance is Vietnamese. Many people feel very attached to those rules and you have to ask yourself if you really want to do these things.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    It wasn't at all except for the fact my parents and brother thought about other things in our culture not being done since it was 2 groom and no bride. There was a lot of commotion and disputes which felt hard to resolve with the stubbornness.

    We got married back in 2017.

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  • Vanessa
    Beginner June 2022 Quebec
    Vanessa ·
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    Thanks Vinod. I agree 100%! Hope your wedding planning is not too too hard
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    There are many obstacles during the planning process that will come across to face with family, friends and wedding party members. Family does have a way to make you feel bad for your decisions and what isn't being considered for them. Its not their day to think about what should be the excited other than you. The wedding party needs to stop thinking about themselves and put their help towards your requests as the concerns can be heard in a manner to be handled properly.

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  • Vanessa
    Beginner June 2022 Quebec
    Vanessa ·
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    Thank you. Yes wedding planning is a major lesson in letting go and accepting/enjoying things (and people) as they are.😅
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    Best you can do is not let it get to you. Enjoy planning as much as you can.
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  • Vanessa
    Beginner June 2022 Quebec
    Vanessa ·
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    Oh fun! Haha what a great response! Great idea... for your wedding. Very true that people have many opinions when they aren't paying anything!
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  • Rayanne
    Master June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
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    We have the same wedding day! It's hard when people feel like they should be able to tell you what to do for your wedding. Honestly if they want something certain way tell them for their wedding you'll be happy to help them with what they want 😅. You will never be able to make everyone happy so do what is best for you and your SO. It's so easy for people to give you advice when they aren't paying the bill
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  • Vanessa
    Beginner June 2022 Quebec
    Vanessa ·
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    Thank you so much Carmen for your kind words and encouragement. I just really needed to hear that! 💜


    So yes my fiance is supportive and helpful. There's been 0 drama on his side and he's mainly the assistant in the planning which I think is what happens most of the time. So he seems to be having way more fun than I am 😅
    You hit the nail on the head. People feel so entitled, they feel like it's about them (especially close family). And whenever you remind them it's your day there is alot of pushback. Hopefully your sister realized that was very uncool of her. And yes, soooo much unwanted advise, so much questioning every decision. I quickly realized you can't make everyone happy and you have to get used to disappointing people and telling them this is your day. I'm not the most assertive person so I'm trying to work through the guilt but I know it's the right thing to do. And yes weddings cost so much damn right I want to enjoy it😂
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  • C
    Super December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
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    I'm so sorry you're feeling this way and so unsupported! I hope your fiance is helpful at least! My sister got married 20 years before me (she's 15 years older) and definitely acted like it was her wedding day/her opportunity to redo it. So frustrating. Bought her dress without consulting me. Bought stuff for her kids to wear without asking me and then got mad at me that she spent money, can't return, and I don't like it 🤦🏻‍♀️. A lot of, "Well if it were me, I'd..." Cool, thanks, but it's not you! Weddings can certainly bring out the worst in people unfortunately - no idea why. I mostly want to comment on the "bridezilla" piece though haha. I hate that so much - it's YOUR wedding. Don't let anyone make you feel that way for trying to plan the most perfect day that YOU are paying for, for you and your fiance. It IS stressful, especially during covid, and your feelings are totally valid. Stand your ground. You got this!
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