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Jenelle
Curious July 2023 Alberta

Wedding Planning Burnout - Send help!

Jenelle, on September 29, 2022 at 22:03 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 4
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Hey all! My fiancé and I are in the midst of planning a wedding for July 1 2023, so we’re coming up on the 9 month out mark now.
We’ve been engaged for about 3+ years (hello covid!) and are at the point where we’ve got the major things done that needed to be sorted early (date, venue, photography, rentals, catering, DJ, theme, colours, guest list and wedding dress). My dilemma is that with all the pressure to get all the “big things” gone, I now find myself hitting a major mental block and have been having a really hard time progressing in getting any kind of productive wedding planning done. At this stage, I know we need to be looking for an officiant, we should be working on the save the dates, wedding web page, hotel block bookings, bartending, florals even hair and makeup is booking up fast (again, thanks covid!) and so much more and I just have zero motivation to do any of it! Anyone else struggle with this on their planning journey? And if so, what are some strategies that you used to break past the proverbial mental roadblocks and actually get stuff done? I could really use some inspiration to push past the tedium of the details planning and actually get some stuff done, but it seems like the more I think about and stress all the stuff I still have to do, the less motivation I have to actually do it!
- signed, a burnt out bride-to-be

4 Comments

Latest activity by Jenelle, on October 1, 2022 at 12:54
  • Jenelle
    Curious July 2023 Alberta
    Jenelle ·
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    Thank you so much for the suggestions! I will definitely be scratching the save the dates and just opt to send invites a touch earlier. I love the idea of online RSVP’s so I’m hoping to have our wedding website online by the time we reach this stage for this purpose! Unfortunately our venue is a private acreage, so I am filling the role of the wedding coordinator so to speak, but i could certainly chat with my other booked vendors and see if they have any suggestions! Thanks again!
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  • Jenelle
    Curious July 2023 Alberta
    Jenelle ·
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    Thank you so much for the great suggestions Hank! It’s true, it’s really easy to get caught up in the sentiment that everything needs to be done right now, even if that’s not always the case. Our wedding location is a family acreage and because we have opted not to hire a wedding planner it means having to do the work on a lot of extra considerations (renting bathrooms, chairs, tables, plates, cutlery, shelter, etc), and so I worry about making sure absolutely every detail is taken care of. This, hotel blocks and bartending is on me to figure out, and while I did know about the temporary officiant licenses, we don’t really have anyone in our circle who would be a good candidate and feel comfortable in that role.
    But you’re very right that it’s also okay to not feel guilty about taking a planning break. I will definitely make a priority out of finalizing a hair/makeup artist and after that, might just take a mini mental holiday from the planning!
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  • KELLY
    Super October 2023 Ontario
    KELLY ·
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    Of all the things on your list I would book hair and makeup first. Also, why not combine the STD's and invitations by sending them a few weeks later and only have guests RSVP online? Definitely speak to your venue about everything else, they may have a preferred vendor list they can share.

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  • H
    Master September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    As you said, you have nine months. A lot of this stuff do not need to be done at this time. Despite what most brides to be tell you on this forum or another, you absolutely do not need to book everything right away and now. You probably already had thousands of dollars tied up in vendor deposits for three years at this point. You don't need to dump more money into that pot right at this moment.

    Now to address some of the "little things:"

    Officiant: Did you know in Alberta, people can be appointed as a temporary wedding officiants? That means you can have someone close to you perform the marriage like you see on TV. They just need to apply for the license.

    Save the dates: Unless your guests are travelling from afar and need to make travel and hotel arrangements, you can skip these. It's a nice to have for local guests so they are aware of your upcoming nuptials but not a must have.

    Wedding web page: Until you have your menu determined via a tasting and you're ready to receive RSVPs (which is usually around 3-6 months out), this is something you can hold off on.

    Hotel block bookings: Would this be part of your venue? Your coordinator should be able to help with that. Even if not, all it takes is a phone call to set that up. If you're in a city with lots of hotel options, I wouldn't even bother with a block since guests will find their own options that fit their budget.

    Bartending: Does the venue not take care of this? Or your caterer?

    Florals: I can guarantee you that you will not run out of people who can make flowers for you. Even if there are 200 weddings happening on the same day as yours in your area, there are more than enough people who will make your flowers. Florists don't write off whole days for one wedding client.

    Hair and Makeup: This you may want to get going on, especially if you have a particular stylists you want to work with.

    Other than hair and makeup, you can certainly take a few weeks off not thinking about anything wedding planning related to unwind and refresh yourself. Don't let planning become a chore. It should be an enjoyable experience and if you are finding yourself lacking in motivation, just step away for a bit.

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