Wedding party

I’m having so much trouble - my fiancé has one best man and one groomsman because that’s all he wants so I’m nervous to pick too many people for my side. I originally had four people in mind but now I think I want one more friend there and I’m definitely feeling conflicted.

I stressed over my bridal party for a while. I wasnt sure I wanted my sister in it or if I even wanted bridesmaids. Ultimately I picked my sister because she seemed so excited to help plan and I'm glad I did. Then I chose my best friend that I spend the most time with (we've only know each other 5 years so doesn't have to be a childhood friend!) and then I picked another close friend who has always made a point of staying in touch with me over the past 8 years and who I used to plan my wedding with for fun long before meeting my fiance. I also took into consideration that these 3 have all met once or twice and get along great so it won't be weird for them to spend time together. I didn't pick a cousin who had me a bridesmaid because we're just not that close and it's important to have your fave people with you and not just pick based on returning roles. 🙂

View quoted message You’re welcome Kate!!
Thank you so much, really appreciate it and need it! Hahaha! Wishing you all the best in your planning as well! 🙏🏾💕 Cheers 🥂

View quoted message Thanks girl!! And all the best with your planning! Congrats ❤️

For me it's my sister and my two best friends from high school .

One thing I want to note, you don't need to have equal bridesmaids/groomsmen, so you shouldn't feel like you have to "fill in" x more number of girls to match your fiance's side. With that being said, I think you just have to pick people who you are close with and would support you no matter what. That means different things to different people. Some have an old friend who they don't necessarily "hang out with" in the present, or some people become exceptionally close with new friends from work or sports teams in the recent time. Ultimately, it's up to you on who you choose and there's no real rule book. However, I have seen some advise away from "very new/recent" friendships, but if that feels right to you I say do it. I think you just want to avoid any fairweather friends/people you don't see staying in your life. In my case, I have 5 bridesmaids, 1 is my sister, 1 is an old friend from childhood, and the other 3 happen to be the significant others of 3 of my fiance's groomsmen. But, these 3 are also ladies that we as a couple spend time with and have grown close in the past few years since they have gotten together with the men. They are not necessarily people I have known since childhood, but we are very close now as adults and spend time and hang out together in the present.

Hello Kate,
At first I was not planning to have a wedding party. However, my sisters placed themselves as bridesmaid during a conversation about wedding. So that’s how my wedding party was started. Later one of my sister (the one after me) became my MOH as she really showed up for me in the planning. I then added my cousin and my fiancé’s cousin. I did not think of this and the importance of it to this extent. I know I can count on my sister and cousin.

Choose who you would definitely have at your wedding that you know will always be there for you!
Don’t stress about the choices. It’s all yours!

I think you're probably overthinking it. Just choose whoever you want to spend the time leading up to the wedding and the wedding day with and base it on your current relationship with them. If you want them both there then that's great. If you just want one and not the other that's fine too. Don't second guess yourself just because you're "supposed" to be closer to one person vs the other. I think a lot of the time people equate length of relationship with strength or closeness of relationship, when that isn't always the case. I have lots of friends I've only known for a short period of time that I'm much closer with than people I've known for 10+ years.

But at the same time I wouldn't place one person ahead of the other just because I have a feeling or I assume I'm going to become closer with them in the future. Nobody has any idea what the future holds and you might make a decision based on a false assumption and regret it later on.

I'm debating this same question! I have 2 best friends, and am considering asking both to be MOH? I don't know how to choose 1 over the other haha. And then there's 3 other friends that 100% have my back and have been through the years with me. I'm just debating if I want a large(r) bridal party at all. When I stop to think about what my hesitancy is with asking them to be bridesmaids - it's that I'm worried about being a burden. That sounds silly I guess when they're true friends, but I feel like it's already a lot to ask for them to travel to the wedding (I'm from Texas so we have a TON of people that this would be a destination wedding for), and then being a bridesmaid on top of that could mean a dress purchase + bachelorette shindigs + all the extras that add up.

I suppose typing it out has made me realize I could certainly ask them and easily give them an out if they're not into it and it will be no hard feelings at all. I'll just be happy if they can make it up here!

I knew my bridal party instantly. My fiance is having issues with deciding on who he wants. When we talked about it before we already knew we only wanted 2. A MOH/BM and a bridesmaid and groomsmen.

My MOH is my best friend. I have known her for 16 years, we even played badminton together when we were 10 and won silver LOL. We went to separate schools after a bit and reconciled in High school in 2010 and have been tight ever since. I instantly knew it was going to be her. My other is a given as well, my sister. Now that she is above 19, I feel like I can make her apart of my bridal party because she can do all the fun crazy things we get up too.

You also have to remember, that your party number does not need to match your FH party numbers. If he has 6 people and you only got 2, that is okay. If you have a good photographer, they will make it work and your photos will turn out beautifully.

You could just go with the 2 that you're already dead certain on. There's no rule that you and your FH have to have even numbers if that's why you're stressing about choosing another 2. We didn't have a wedding party at all as it started creating drama even before we had mentioned a wedding party, so we decided to avoid the headache all together. But if you feel you need those even numbers, then I would go with whoever you feel you can trust and will be supportive throughout the process as opposed to focusing on who you've known longest.

I only have two, you don't need to have a set number so don't stress about it.

My MOH is my best friend(practically like the sister I never had) of 18 years. My 2nd was going to be my friend Sean but he's had some major hurdles lately with his health and family health that he stepped down. I was seriously considering just having a MOH when my SO suggested another friend. I've known her for 20 years and we reconnected about 5 years ago and have become close again the past 2.
Both these ladies have been a big part of my life and will continue to be.
As much as I love my friend Sean, and wish he were standing up with me, he's a very private person and I don't blame him for stepping down. I'd like to hope he'll always be in my life but I've only known him for 4 years.
I now can't imagine not having lady #2 involved.

Honestly my advice would be choose someone you know will always be there and not regret having up there beside you. I know way to many friends who regret who they picked to stand beside them as they stop talking/ etc

I found it hard choosing as well however at the end of the day it is your wedding. We chose to do 1 best man which is his uncle and 1 MOH and my MOH has been my best friend for 9 years and is someone who i can count on 100%. My FH couldn't pick anyone else due to the fact he can't think of any friend he is closer too than his uncle. same with me.

Hope this helps

Deciding for the wedding party individuals should be the ones you can count on and known the longest and not for the future due to not knowing the outcome after. We chose one each MOH and BM (Best Man) to be on our sides. It was the ones we felt was close and now one has decided to not talk to us as much (preferably me as much as my husband) after going through a controlling relationship which she ended. I had co-worker that I thought was my friend in the beginning through my good friend at work/ex co-worker that I still talk to still. He ended up changing so much after time it broke the friendship. It seemed to be a war with him at work so I left to diffuse the situation of him or me and found a better paying job.