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Kerri
Newbie October 2020 Ontario

Wedding Party

Kerri, on June 27, 2019 at 10:30 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 14
I plan to have three amazing women in my wedding party. My sister-in-law and my two best friends. My sister-in-law has been in my life for 17 years, and my two friends have been in my life for 16 years. All three girls have three totally different personalities. My sister-in-law is married and my two friends aren’t. Would it be weird to have one matron of honour and two maids of honour? I can’t pick and I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Do I simple just make them all bridesmaids. I want everyone to be on the same playing field. I don’t know what the protocol is here. Any helpful insight would be greatly appreciated!

14 Comments

Latest activity by Taylor, on July 6, 2019 at 00:09
  • Taylor
    Devoted October 2021 Alberta
    Taylor ·
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    Its your wedding. Theres no rules to what you can and cant do. You will never use the titles past anyways. Usually the MOH is the one who would sign as your witness but even then theres no place that states their titles. When doing the proposal skip it all together and ask them to join your bride tribe or something like that and if someone asks whos your MOH just say you dont have one or that they all are. Whatever is easier for you.

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    I think you should just have them all be your maids and matrons of honour. It's so sweet how you want to include them all and I'm sure they'll each be so honoured and touched by it.

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  • Erin
    Super May 2022 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I think that if they are all close to you then there should be no hurt feelings. I think that they would be honoured to just be included in your day and will support any decision you make. If you feel like you can't pick then put the names in a hat and choose that way, but you should have 1 girl that is a main go to person.

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  • Hélène
    Devoted September 2019 Alberta
    Hélène ·
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    What about “honour attendants”?

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  • Lussierk00@outlook.com
    Curious January 2020 Manitoba
    Lussierk00@outlook.com ·
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    Honestly I dont think it really matters. I think either way you go, as long as you give them all the same title (2 maids and 1 matron of honour, OR all bridesmaids) then theres no difference. I dont think the title means much, and you can totally choose what that title means. No one said you HAVE to have one maid of honour, or even one at all. They could all do the exact same amount of things to help, and they could all give speeches if you want.

    I'm personally giving one of my 4 bridesmaids the title of maid of honour, but we are not being too religious about it. Basically I picked her because I would think she would do best at giving a speech at the wedding. I explained to all of them that that title doesnt mean much to me and they are all equally important and I would appreciate all of them to work together and help me plan just as much!
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Do what you feel is right and how they can contribute to their duties as bridesmaid and the one who can handle being a matron. Every bride knows their friends really well to say if they can fill the role to be your right hand person.

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  • Allison
    Frequent user June 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I agree, break down the things you would need their assistance on and then divide it out equally if possible. I wouldn't assign any titles other than bridesmaids just to make sure that no ones feelings got hurt.

    Maybe plan a ladies night, get together and make a list of all the things you girls will need to tackle (bachelorette, signing of the paperwork, speech) and see who would excel at what, if you have one person that is extremely reliable - I would make them the maid-of-honour.

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  • Brittany
    Devoted August 2019 Alberta
    Brittany ·
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    I was talking to my friend about doing a co-MOH. And she said at her sisters wedding this was done, and didn't go over that well. One was planning and inputting more than the other. And one got more of the "reward". IE being the witness, standing closest to the bride, making the speech, etc...


    I think just pick the one you've known longest, and as she is your sister in law, no one should be upset by that choice.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    My bridal party is basically all bridesmaids - I do have a MOH but they all share responsibilities. The MOH is just going to sign the license as a witness and do a speech with another bridesmaid.

    For my bridesmaid's wedding, her sister was her MOH but the only thing that she did more of was sign as a witness and make a speech. Other than that, she had the same responsibility as the rest of the bridesmaids. No one's feelings were hurt since she was her sister, so maybe have your sister-in-law as MOH or just have them all be bridesmaids and have someone sign as a witness and ask who wants to make a speech on behalf of the bridal party.

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  • Kelly
    Expert September 2019 Manitoba
    Kelly ·
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    As long as you decide who is responsible for what, then I don't see why not. Who would do the speech? who is heading the planning of the bachelorette party etc?

    I was in a wedding party where the bride didn't pick any MOH, and it just led to a lot of confusion in the planning.

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  • Amanda
    Super June 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
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    Do whatever you want! I didn't have a maid of honour. we had 4 bridesmaids. it really doesn't make a difference at all for the wedding it's mostly about responsibility for planning things before hand. I personally would be more inclined to have all bridesmaids instead of all maids of honour but that's just me.
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  • Chelsea
    Super June 2020 Alberta
    Chelsea ·
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    I have two MOH and 3 BM. Do it how you want, there really aren’t any rules, however, keep in mind that you are going to need to pick one person to sign your marriage license on the day of, and traditionally it is the maid of honour that does this. So maybe it would be best to have one maid of honour and two bridesmaids? Or have them pull straws if you really don’t want to have to choose between them
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I would see if anybody in the group wants to be MOH, and maybe only one will step up? I mean, I wouldn't go as far as to make them all MOH's as then it's the same as all having BM's but having BM's is just more common and more stuff you can buy come with BM written on it Smiley tongue

    Maybe choose the one who is married because you have known her longer? That or go with whoever is more organized as that is most helpful when it comes to wedding planning.

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  • Veronica
    Super October 2021 Alberta
    Veronica ·
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    Hmmm I also have 3 amazing ladies (ALL VERY DIFFERENT AS WELL) in my bridal party, but chose my best friend of 15+ years to be my MoH and the other two as bridesmaid, there was no hard feelings or anything, its always been assumed it would be that way. And honestly all 3 are receiving the same things, and they are sharing all the responsibilities equally, the title isn't really important to them. So I say go with what you want! I do think it is helpful to have one person as the decision maker/point of contact etc for simplicity sake so my thoughts is that is how having a Maid of Honor & bridesmaids can be helpful. How lucky are we to have such a great group of women supporting us on our big day Smiley heart

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