Wedding guest cut off.

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I agree with this!

Our rule is that if we haven`t spoken to them in several years and/or have not spent time with them as a couple (unless there`s a specific reason such as they live across the globe or are in poor health) then they don`t need to be at our wedding.

For me and my Fiancé, I have the smaller guest count and he has a large one. I have maybe 85 people on my list and he has like 200 or so.... Our overall max head count is 250.

One thing is for sure and we both agree - NONE are getting cut from my list. It doesn't matter if they are family or friends, I get to keep all of mine.

Then it's just a matter of cutting back on his family/friends.

Our guidelines are: have to have hung out in the past year, enjoy their company, approve the marriage, and if we come up with more than the 160 (gotta take out a few for vendors who will be there) - they are sectioned off to the family vs friends and the friends will be on our B-list if/when we get RSVP's that are no's.

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You'll learn pretty quickly that you can't please everyone. People will get offended no matter what you do or don't do. You just need to remind yourself that, in the end, it's not about them...it's about your and your FH having an amazing day the way YOU want it.

I basically repeat that to myself every time a family member complains about our choices.

Our kind of two cutoff factors were:
1) is this a person that you would enjoy going out for a coffee with and catching up?
2) will you be sad if this person is not able to come to the wedding?

If either of the answers were a “no” they got cut from the list. It worked really well for us. We were so happy to have all of our close friends and family at the wedding and not be surrounded by acquaintances. Some people were offended at the lack of invite, but we just explained it as, “sorry. It was very difficult to make a manageable guest list and we had to draw the line somewhere”. People will get over it.

First of all, you do not need to have equal parts to the guest list. If you budget permits 100 guests, and he has 30, you can have 70. He doesn't need to find people to invite to even it out... For example, I have about 60% of our guest list, but out of our 115 people, 14 were his family. His 'friends' list was almost 40!

Second, once you know approximately how many people you can invite, start with your A-Listers, meaning: immediate family, and your BEST friends (not all your friends, your die hards). Then create the "B-List" people, the aunts, uncles, cousins (the close ones, that you've actually seen/talked to in the past year or so), and your closer friends. Then have your C-Listers. The people you should 'probably' invite, but you're not going to miss if they aren't there. Try and group people where you find yourself saying things like, "If I invite A, I need to invite X, Y, Z".... so you can either invite all, or none of them.

You may receive a little backlash for not inviting certain people... We received an extremely rude Facebook comment from my FH's aunt just 9 days before our wedding. However, in the 5 years leading up to our engagement, I hadn't even met her, and my FH hadn't seen her, and the only reason I finally met her (and most of his family) was at his grandma's funeral, 2 weeks after our engagement. Everyone assumed they'd be invited, but my FH just decided not to invite the majority of his family who never contact him. In the long run, you will save yourself a lot of stress (and money), by just biting the bullet, and cutting the "distant group". Just ask yourself the question, "Will I be upset if this person is not at my wedding?" If the answer is no, don't put them on your first group for invites. Keep them on a secondary list, or cut them altogether.

View quoted message Thank you for your input I will take that into consideration. I’m Greek so my family is pretty big. I never thought of just inviting the people that care for you. My thing is not upsetting anyone but it’s my wedding and I should draw the Line somewhere

This is honestly the hardest. I feel bad not inviting some people, but sometimes it just needs to be done.
I heard a line on an episode of 4 weddings recently. One of the brides said you should invite the people who love you, and who you love, not just the ones you know.
FH is Italian and his sister had the typical 300+ people at her wedding which included all the 2nd and 3rd cousins. I have been with him for 5 years and don’t even know half of those people. So it was easier for us to cut the list down.
As Valerie has said, we have kept it to family that we see frequently. Not just at weddings and funerals. We are also keeping the number of children to a minimum unless they are immediate family

View quoted message Perfect, I’m just afraid people will get upset at me for not inviting them. People shouldn’t be offended

Hi Jenn,

The guest list is the biggest pain and puzzle of wedding planning, for sure! My FH has a pretty big family, compared to mine. For this reason, we decided to draw the line at our first cousins and their spouse. Kids, unless named on the invitations, will not be invited.