Wedding Faux Pas

View quoted message

You totally got what I was asking lol. That sounds really nice for favours

View quoted message

Ooooo that's a great dessert! I love the history you have behind it too

View quoted message

Macarons!!! My fiance gave me them for my birthday one year and I never looked back! I see it as a symbol of love so I thought it would be nice to give that as a take away for our special night.

View quoted message Thinking same things going with a gold dress, no party other thsn the wedding reception. May allow few speeches

View quoted message I agree with you Bianca. I always knew we'd have favors, I just never realized they'd take so long to make... I read on WW and in lots of bridal magazines about registering for a honeymoon so my fh and I said perfect! Today is our 8 1/2 yr Anniversary and there is nothing we need. Luckily 1 of my MOHs came to me and told me that some members of our Wedding party had strong opinions against a honeymoon registry and that some People she asked not associated with our Wedding said it looked like we were asking for a handout of a free trip. I felt sick hearing that and we immediately took that idea off the table.

View quoted message

I definitely agree with the latter!

View quoted message I’m not positive I understand what you’re asking lol. But we’ve decided we’re just going to have cookies out and bags beside and make it clear they can be taken home. Just like any favour, if they take them, great, if they don’t, that’s their decision. There will be different flavours so it doesn’t make sense for us to pre pack them and if they forget to, it’s no different than forgetting the usual table favours (which lots of people do).

View quoted message

My aunt makes the best homemade biscotti, so we're planning on sending out guest off with several mini ones! What do you have in mind for yours if you go that way?

Wow! I a so amazed at all the responses! I am also grateful to have a variety of options as to what to really look for and think about as well as whats comfortable for us as a couple! I have decided not to do a cake! We thought about it for a while and decided that since we are getting married at a restaurant the guests already have a choice of dessert, so why would I spend more money of another dessert? We did agree however on a Cookie table especially our favorite Macarons! I just feel like there is no need to have a traditional cake.

View quoted message Oh good! Lol. Awesome! What dessert are you doing?

I disagree about wedding favours, leaving with some candy/bubble blowing liquid/mints/a chocolate doesn’t make me enjoy a wedding more and if I wanted any of that I could go to the dollar store and get it myself. As long as there’s good food (and frequent food), good music, and an open bar I’m happy.

We’re having brown paper bags with our intials stamped on them at the candy table and ppl can take those home with candies and cookis in them, we’ll have flip flops for people and they can take those home, we’re actually also planning to have some free sunglasses (outdoor backyard wedding) and guests can take those home too but they’re all at the guests convenience not as favours.

To me the biggest faux pas is hungry guests. I’ve been to too many weddings where theres hours without any food or far less food than guests needed, like too few things during cocktail hour so most people get nothing (one tray of a dozen things doesn’t feed 100 ppl). Or where the dj calls tables when they can go to the buffet, others are finishing their food and you’re sitting there starving. At most of these having like bread for the table or a few more items would have made a huge difference to my enjoying the experience. We all have different metabolisms and hunger triggers my migraines.

Don't forget to tip your vendors, unless the tip is included in the contract! Also, make sure you and your FH are NOT the people to contact on the day of... Give your phone to your MOH or your mom or anyone else but you, and let them sort through what you need to see and what they can handle. Also, always plan more time then you thought on the day of for getting ready and taking picture... It's better to have some loose than to have to rush these things...

And CONGRATS!

Honestly everyone has their own opinions on what you should and shouldn't do. At the end of the day it's totally up to what you and your fiance are comfortable with.

My fiancés Aunt told us that we HAD to do a receiving line and HAD to give ALL guest as plus one and that I NEED a white traditional dress. When we told her that we will not give everyone a plus one or have a receiving line she told us that we know nothing about how weddings work. She made a disapproving face when I mentioned how cool it would be to have a purple dress. She's never even been married, so that is probably why it bothered me so much. She also made comments about having a nice sit-down dinner, cutting the cake, having an even number in the bridal party, having to have wedding favours and little things like that. I've stopped talking about the wedding to her.

View quoted message

Absolutely! That's what I'm doing too actually. I think sending people home with something is better than nothing at all.

It depends on you! In my experience there will always be at least one person telling you that you "need" to have something that you actually don't. Prioritize what you like and dislike and go from there!

View quoted message I wasn’t going to do specific favours but instead provide bags for people to take home cookies (our dessert). Is that considered a enough of a favour?

I'm going to say that so many of the old school traditional things have really gone out the window for a lot of people... You don't need to wear white, you don't need to have lots of (or any) flowers, you don't need to have printed invitations even any more! (Although I still think they are nice, I did electronic save the dates and RSVPs, but printed invites).

I agree with Bianca, I still think favours are necessary, but spending a lot is NOT. I did 110 favours for $160 (individual hot chocolate mixes for my January wedding). It's your instant-gratification 'thank you for coming' gift, and it doesn't have to break the bank.

I would disagree about the honey fund thing... Maybe about using the app/websites that charge a fee (I think it's absolutely ridiculous for your guests to pay to give you money)... but the asking for money, or asking not to receive physical gifts, is totally fine nowadays. We'd been living together for 6 years, we literally needed nothing... but we received enough monetary gifts to pay off our credit cards and pay for our honeymoon!

Everyone has a different opinion on what they consider to be a "faux pas".

I personally don't think it's polite to have a "honey fund". I know that there's so many people who do it and maybe it's the culture I come from, but I think guests know how to gift money without having to be told which website to send it to.

I think there needs to be wedding favours. I feel like this is one of the first things that people cut when trying to save money and I really think it should be reconsidered. I know that hosts sometimes have the attitude that they're hosting a party for their guests, therefore they don't owe them anything, but I disagree.

Those two are the ones that really bug me lol.

That's awesome!!! keeping it simple too is a good idea. I'm generalizing the faux pas and not really focusing on one criteria. It's almost like saying do you HAVE to have a limo? Do you Have to wear a traditional white dress? the list goes on! My fiance and I have decided on a winter New Years Eve wedding because everybody that we know have already done Summer weddings so why not change it up a bit and do a Winter one? I have always been "different" and never wanted to do things the "traditional" way. I find it kind of cool that I will be having a Winter wedding because now I have something to look forward too in the Winter other than Christmas lol.

I am so excited to hear all of your comments!

From my own experience, you're definitely going to hear this from older generations : You have to do this, your bridesmaids have to wear that, etc.

We don't have a wedding party, no registry, no bridal shower, no cake cutting, both my parents will be walking me down the aisle. No garter or bouquet toss. Food will be served buffet-style. Fake flowers in all of our decor. We almost nixed speeches, until our parents sorta freaked out at that! hahaha

I say, do what feels right for both yourself and your FH!

There’s not as many faux-pas as there were in the past I find. (I.e. when my parents got married, all bridesmaids had to have the same dress, bride MUST be in white - not ivory - for a first wedding).
Also are you asking about fashion faux-pas, reception structure faux pas, or something else? If you are worried about a certain aspect being a faux pas, it will definitely help find answers!

Also, congratulations on your engagement!