Wedding cake

We are not doing a cake either, instead we have decided to do a pie bar, with a bunch of different kinds of pies since we both love pie and its a fall wedding right before thanksgiving! Also, we are doing a candy buffet as our wedding favour so there will be plenty of sweets for all the guests with a sweet tooth, including me and my FH

Wow this is so cool! Such an awesome idea!

We decided that the wedding cake was a waste....no one eats it and lots of it gets tossed out

We are doing a french macaroon tower, that way you take what you want and the rest we can freeze

plus they are yummy!

Our wedding is big, 250 invited. We too are budget conscious because it takes a great deal of cash (that we don't have) to party with that many people! We are going to do a cupcake tree to satisfy the cake tradition. My mom and I are going to bake and freeze the cupcakes the month before the wedding, we will ice them 2 days before and our venue will refrigerate them and set them out during the ceremony. It's a cheaper compromise idea.

Our guests are going to have the dessert provided with the meal, and our head table (wedding party) and going to have a smaller cake made by myself or my mother in law just for the pictures and the sake of cutting the cake. I find larger cakes often get forgotten especially when dessert is already provided

You definitely don't need cake but a friend of mine had a fake one that was styrofoam and just iced and decorated for photos. If it's important to your mother in law perhaps you could see if something like that is an option?

We've also decided againsts cake since dessert will be include with the plated dinner and I'm not a dessert person at all! I've heard of the idea of having cheese instead of cake - who doesn't like cheese. They're made of big rounds of cheese and then placed on top of one another them to look similar to a cake. I've attached a photo for reference. Just an idea 😘

We aren't doing cake either but that's because I don't like cake and my FH was fine with having pie and assorted desserts instead. Most people seem to react the same way to no cake ("oh really?! but it's a wedding; there has to be cake.") but we have stuck to our guns and people have been ok with that so far. I figure it is our wedding and we can eat what we like and if people have a problem with it then they don't have to eat dessert.

We're going to have cake because I looove cake. We actually might have two cakes because we want 2 different flavors (both will be small because our guest count is 35). But if you're not a cake fan, there's no reason to feel you need to have one! We're having a brunch wedding, so we're not planning to serve desert right after the meal. We'll probably cut the cake and eat it a couple hours after brunch in mid afternoon. Since our theme is brunch, we are planning to have baked goods (muffins, pastries, banana bread, etc.) plus coffee/tea served as our guests arrive and right after the ceremony, so I guess that counts as desert sort of. We're doing things a little backwards I guess, but I think it will work!

Hi Barbara!!

Ohh it's good, because choosing the dress is the most fun part!!

Let me know if you need any help. I can't wait to see it!! You can always share a picture of it in this group!!

Show off your wedding dress

xx

Hey Zoe,

Thanks, I agree I think we're gonna stick to no cake.

Planning is going well, I do not have a dress yet but the search begins tomorrow. I'm a little nervous as I'm on a tight budget with my dress and hope I can find something well below it. The major parts are pretty much done, just focusing on the little details. We still have a little over a year so I'm feeling ok with everything.

Hi Barbara!

I saw you are getting married in July! So nice a summer wedding! I think you should do what feels best, at the end it is your special day.

I made this game and one of the questions is about cakes. I think you will find it funny.

Do you dare? Yes or no?

Did you already find your dress? How is the planning going?

I think it's totally fine to not have cake! We will have a lot of food: dessert, late night bar (mini corndogs, onion rings, fondue..) and instead of wedding cake we are doing cupcakes!

Not sure what we are doing yet but we will likely pick up a variety of pies from costco for dessert and call it good Neither of us are big cake fans.

Not 100% nailed down yet but one of my BM is making cupcakes and a small cake for cutting as our wedding gift.

Thats amazing! We're doing a barn wedding in the summer so unfortunately ice cream cake wouldn't work.

Im doing a super light cake 2 tier very small for the show and have a dessert table with the cupcakes and some other small desserts. (finger foods) Im not a fan of thick heavy cakes. and frankly im making my cake myself . will cost me like 20$. the cake will be the same as the cupcakes. and the cupckaes will be small ones. not the traditional big ones cuz frankly some people dont like dessert. Some people make pie, tarts cakes, anything!! doesnt have to be traditional.

We are doing an Ice Cream cake. Everyone will get that as a desert.

I feel you. I feel not everyone needs to be involved with every aspect of the wedding. My FH suggested we bring our parents to a decor appointment and I said, "no. Too many cooks in the kitchen." I did ask for their opinion on centrepieces, and they didn't like it, but I still stuck with my choice. The guest list is our biggest area of contention. I keep telling my FH, please tell them to keep the guest list down to the minimum required for the hall. I have a plan for that though. "Inflate" my guest list to necessarily deflate theirs. It's the only way sometimes.

Lol my mom is the exact same way. It's so true -- it being about so much than about the love with your partner. I thought it was going to be all sunshine and roses, but it's not! It's just a taste of married life.

I'm lucky my parents were able to say something about the 500 people. I feel for my FH though because he's stuck between his future wife and his parents on matters like that.

Me too, they just lie in wait until their son comes by because he won't say no to them. Like, thanks guys. It's not like I'm the one making sure he shows up for family events, stays on budget, showers on a regular basis. You're welcome, but yeah, keep using him as a shield for all the things you know I'll shoot down.

LOL, right?! You can't just reply the way you would with your family because obviously we want to maintain a good working relationship with our partner's family. Ouch... 500 people! My mom is funny, she keeps saying, just have a small wedding, no need to spend so much money, no need for all the fuss, but I find she is the one who is fussy about who we invite/don't invite, requires open bar (I had gotten my FH on board with me that it was not necessary and not feasible $$-wise), etc. Ah weddings, so much more than about the love between you and your chosen partner lol

I love cake, but we figured since dessert is being served there wouldn't be much point. Thanks for all the advice ladies!

I agree with you guys too about the frustration!

It's super frustrating when your in-laws give you input and expect you to follow it because you can't really talk to them the same way you do with your parents, or you come off super bratty. At least that's how I feel. For e.g., my in-laws originally wanted a 500 person wedding.

OMG I 100% hear you and agree!! Once people find out you're getting married, several screws go loose and everything becomes such a big deal for everyone! Super annoying and frankly, should really be none of their business! But everyone seems to be interested in making sure that you fulfil their expectations of your day rather than yours! Can you tell I'm frustrated too?

I may be taking some of my own issues out, I get that. My partner's family is much more "diplomatic" than mine and it makes it really hard to make decisions without feeling like you're ruining people's lives. At the end of the day, the thing your guests care about most is having a good time, and seeing a happy couple. And the good time is definitely not entirely reliant on cake. I recently had someone ask me what are my favourite centrepieces I've ever seen, and I had to go back into old photos to even remember if there were centrepieces at the weddings I've attended (there were, they were huge, I could not remember in the least). I'm pretty sure cake is half a step above centrepieces in "things that make or break a wedding".

We're doing a little cake topper with cupcakes only because my friend does it for a living so I wanted to send business her way. Pricey yes but She gave us a discount. We'll have other dessert snacks too. Nanaimo bars. Brownies. Whatever guests brin since its a potluck meal

PREACH!! Hahaha

I don't eat cake normally, so we've agreed on a no-cake policy. i've been to many weddings where people miss the cake cutting, if it looks super cute its not as tasty, lots of people don't like cake, etc. people really have to get over the fact that it isn't their wedding and you should prioritize what matters to you.

When I was negotiating with the venue, they had dessert as a course included in their price per person. We negotiated the price down partly by cutting out the dessert course and agreeing to serving our cake as the dessert. I want a minimalistic cake. White, semi-nude, maybe with gold specs -- and real flowers for a photo op moment.

While your mom is upset, and your sister-in-law makes a point, it is your day after all. You should do things that have meaning for you.

The only non-traditional thing I can think of is maybe having a sweets table with an array of desserts like cake pops, cupcakes, etc. I've seen towers of donuts as well.

We are thinking we might ask a friend to make a small cake, in lieu of a gift but that most sweets would be cookies or fruits or something, rather than a large traditional cake. I had thought about baking a cake, everyone has been discouraging me on that because it will be too stressful. I've seen "fake" cakes for the purpose of pictures, but ultimately it depends on you guys. In my opinion if you won't miss it or aren't big cake fans, then there's not really a need to buy a cake just for the sake of photos...

I think you should do what is best for you. Wedding cakes can be so expensive and not a lot of people eat them anyways! We are doing 3 tier cake but only the top small tier is going to be real so we can cut it. Then we are just having a dessert table with easy to eat and pick up desserts. If you are already having dessert and you don't want a cake, do what is best for you