Traditions.....

Lol well I would be SOL, we are a military family and don't really have a "hometown" and also live 2.5hrs from where my family settled in. I think that was just said to you so she could be there, but she is more than welcome to travel to you if that is what you want. planning a wedding is stressful enough and she should respect what you want to save on costs/stress

I think your mom just wants to be involved and suggesting ideas that she knows will work. Have a talk and be firm, this is your wedding also its 40 years since she has been married. Things have changed a lot.

As for the drive. I live in the outskirts of town. I have to drive an hour and forty five minutes to do anything for the wedding. Maybe a compromise and find someone in the middle you both have to drive a bit to.

Is there a chance your mom is fabricating this tradition so that she has an excuse to be there to make sure she can have a say in whats done to her dress? lol just a thought.

Just be honest and say that won't work for you.

Maybe promise to send pictures and consult with her along the way so she feels involved?

You dont need to follow all traditions you can make ur own. i wouldnt drive 2.5 hours for a seamstress your mom used 35 years ago

That’s a new one to me!
I don’t think that’s too much to ask since you’ll have to be fitted. I would suggest going to a seamstress you trust or comes highly recommend. You don’t want something to go wrong or be done a different way than you’d like on your wedding dress

I've never heard of that tradition!
Mom's get so sentimental around weddings, it'll be hard to not bruise her feelings. You would probably make that trip a minimum of 3 times, can you book them closer to times you would go home anyway?

I think the tradition your mom is talking about is getting married in the bride's hometown, not necessarily having to do everything dealing with the wedding in the hometown.

My hometown is in London, and that just happened to be the best town for our wedding, since family is all over the province and beyond. We live 18 hours away now in Thunder Bay so I did have to fly down to do some wedding planning, not all of it was done in London - I'd be broke and insane!!

I imagine the 2.5 hours to get it altered is one way, so you spend 5 hours driving to and from one appointment. Some seamstresses (like mine) only worked Mon-Friday 9-5 so I had to book fittings during my breaks at work. There's no way you should be expected to drive 5 hours for alterations, you'll need to go a few times.

Try talking to your mom about how it isn't feasible for you to get it altered in your hometown.

I had kind of a similar situation. Originally my wedding ceremony was going to take place in my grandparent's back yard, but after taking some measurements it just wasn't going to work with the way it's laid out. So now instead the ceremony will take place in FH's parent's yard. When my grandma heard that we'd be doing it in their yard she got so defensive and tried to guilt trip me, but I just had to put my foot down because it's what made sense. My grandma has finally come around but it took patience and time. So no, you're not in the wrong at all and I've never heard of that tradition either, but maybe it's something the women in your mom's family believe on their own? I would just try to sit her down and explain your reasons and hopefully she'll see why you're choosing to do it this way. Like, is she going to not let you have the dress if you don't do everything in your hometown?

It's not wrong to want it to be easier - but at the same time it's only 2.5 hours away right? Not that bad of a drive if you ask me.

Maybe you can talk to her and show her that you've done your research and that with the hours that the seamstress' works and the gas money etc. it doesn't work for you and maybe even put it out there that if that's the case then you might have to look for a dress off the rack where you currently reside?