To register or not to regist

Good call! Absolutely best to keep registry information off the invitation! You can also put it up on your wedding website too

My FH's side is italian so traditionally they just do monetary gifts anyways. it's my side...there are some of the older ladies who like to do gifts. I may just get the word spread verbally about a registry and not put it on the invite

I think that's what we will do...honestly i don't want to offend people or anything and i just want to spend time with all the ladies. Maybe i will try to get my MOH to come up with a different name other than shower and not an engagement party since we didn't want to have an engagement party either...such politics

We have the same problem. My kitchen can't fit one more thing, and our basement is full of his and my stuff we don't know what to do with!! I agree with you on not asking for money. I feel the same way. We are not registering either. People will get the hint that if you aren't registered they should bring a monetary gift. Also it might help to tell some close people in your family (mom dad siblings bridal party maybe) that a monetary gift is preferred, so if family calls to find out what you want , they can deliver the message to them in a conversation. I know it usually works for my Portuguese family. You tell one person one thing , and it circulates quicker than I can pick up the phone. It's magic really! Lol another tip of you do get gifts and they provide gift receipts alot of stores will give you a store credit to use at a later time. The bay did that with a friend of mine. She returned what she didn't need and they put the cumulative amount of all the gifts on 1 gift card! Good luck and Congratulations!

Is your FH's side the same? My FH's grandma called after getting her invitation to tell us that the registry was too small and we needed to add more (I already thought it was huge with like 90 items!!! Even though a bunch are small under $20 items)

You just have to watch the fine print on any kind of cash registry and really know your group. Cash/honeymoon registries are either loved or hated and some guests are VERY insulted by them! So you should always have at least A FEW items on a traditional registry for people that really like getting physical gifts.

Also I mention to read the fine print because most cash registries will take or make your guests pay a certain percent (can be anywhere from 2% to 15% in my experience) to use the service. And specific places sometimes have A LOT of hoops they make you jump through to redeem your gifts.

I know you dint want gifts, but one thing you could consider is a registery at a travel company, like flight center or red tag. Guest can put any dallor amount down they like and there is no deadline when to use it. we like to travel and want to do more before we settle down with kids. It can pay for much of your hunny moon too. I know its still a gift but its a gift of adventrue and quilty time with your new husband. just a thought.

Hi Rachel! Welcome to the community! To register or not to register... That's always a great question! Bridal showers usually involve gifts so your guests will probably expect giving something. You could register only for a few things as the other ladies suggested, call it only a cocktail, or you could also try some a these options that couples also use for their weddings: Wishing Well vs. Wedding Registry

5 ways to ask for a Honeymoon Fund

5 ways to ask for money instead of a gift

Are you making invitations for your bridal shower? Who's organizing it?

Not registering anywhere either!
Bridal shower I'm being clear I don't need any gifts! For the wedding itself our circle all does cash gifts so that's the norm. I've actually never bought an actual present for a wedding!

My FH and I are the same way. We have everything we need, so we won't be doing a registry of any kind. We aren't expecting anything from anyone, but we are hoping that if our guests wish to give us something, that by not having a registry, that it is conveyed that monetary gifts would be preferred. Of course we would never actually ask for money, so not having a registry is our way of asking without asking. Lol

My sister did not have a registry and 90% of guests gave them money, the 10% who gave physically gifts would probably not have bought off the registry anyway... We are going the same route... I don't think we will be having a shower, we did have an engagement party but instructed the guests not to bring us gifts... The few who did bring something brough consumables like, wine, flowers, coffee.

I agree with everyone else that if you don't want gifts, don't call it a "shower," have it just be a party. And the completion discount is an awesome thing and can generally be used on anything so if you register for something, they'll email you the coupon after your wedding.

My sister threw me a bridal shower and she had a theme for it so the guests actually brought gifts to go with the theme instead of buying things off the registry. The theme was "date night" so we got cookbooks, board games, a couple's massage class, restaurant and movie giftcards, etc. It was really thoughtful and nice that the gifts were for both me and my husband!

I would still register for a few things because people like to give physical gifts. I would go to Pinterest and look at suggested registry items because they're might be things you don't have like gravy boat or fondue set. Things you might like to have. I've been on my own for over 10 years but everything I have was purchased second hand or at the dollar store. I'm looking forward to getting rid of those things.

We have game nights too, they're so fun! Can't wait for the matching trays!!

Haha I'm the same! I can't wait to get hosting trays that MATCH and are super pretty!!! I'm so excited to host our first post wedding game night with new board games and fancy hosting things!!!!!!!!

It really is! Lol I felt the same way with how excited I got over plates, serving dishes etc. It was awesome tough.

It will be so fun with your pretty new things!

I felt like a dork getting excited about plates, but it really is a blast!

My fiancé has a big family and we always have lots of great dinners. His mom always brings out the good China for get togethers, my parents as well, so I can't wait to hold Christmas etc at our place every once in awhile. I love hosting.

I'm literally SO PUMPED for the completion discount!

The completion discount is key- since we aren't having a shower anymore, this is literally what I'll be using the registry for!

Wasn't choosing china the BEST!? I wasn't going to get any....but soooo pretty! and "grown up"

Melissa is BANG ON! If you call it a shower, people will bring physical gifts (as is the nature of the event). If you really don't want them, call it an engagement party!

As for the registry, I made a realively small one. Even though I have lived on my own for over 10+ years and FH and I have been living together for 2.5 years, a lot of my dishes and cutlery were cheaply bought in college and though they work fine... a nice matching upgraded set WOULD be nice. Plus you can get things you wouldn't really get for yourself but might be nice to have. So of my favourites are; like a towel warmer, some hostess items (serving trays, cheese board, etc), Wifi crockpot, new towels that actually absorb things and match the rest of my bathroom, nice sheets (rather than the $30 Walmart ones I currently own), new pillows, a SodaStream, new pans that aren't all scraped with the handle coming loose, AND some new board games (FH love having board game nights with friends).

PLUS most places will give you a completion discount!! Meaning, after the wedding you can go in and buy items that weren't purchased for you off the registry at a discount (Bed Bath and Beyond even holds an event with food and drinks and you can purchase anything in the store for 20% off, even items that you normally can't get discounts on, like certain appliances and brands). So I even put on dumb household things like a new clear shower curtain liner... ours needs replacing, and I can wait 3 more months if it means I get 20% off! haha

It's always good to have SOME registry as some (mostly older) guests truly prefer to get you a physical item. FH's grandma even called him to tell him to add more things to the registry because it wasn't big enough (even though it has a WIDE range of price points). I have weird guilt about it most days, but I'm most excited for the completion discount after the wedding!

We're also in the same boat. We've been living together for 5 years. My mom and future mother in law are throwing me a huge shower (60 people confirmed) I had a really hard time registering because we don't really need anything either. We mostly focused on updating older things, China for special get togethers, more expensive appliances we wouldn't have bought ourselves, etc.

I am in the same boat.. my FH and I own our house and we have everything we could need for it ... so what we did for my shower is we went to bed bath and beyond and created a small registry of items we maybe wanted to update in our home .. dishes and such .. so that way people had options .. and i wouldnt get any silly fruit bowls lol

I have been living with my fiancé for almost 2 years. For my bridal shower, I have asked my MOH to tell the guests that maybe we can have a theme- like date night. Obviously for the wedding, we will not be doing a registry. Money is usually preferred.
Everyone knows how expensive weddings are.
I was also under the impression that the bridal shower is for the bride- so they gifts could be aimed at her.

Just my thoughts on this- a shower is designed for physical gifts. Back in the day when people were modest and living together before marriage was a scandal people gave the bride gifts to get her ready for her marital home.

Thank goodness times have changed! But I think most people would still consider a shower for wrapped gifts. I would either register for cool upgrades (space age toaster, better blender, art you actually like).

Maybe call the party something else that will not convey the "shower" idea? An engagement party is less of a gift occasion. Or even just "come party with us before the wedding". I just really think if it says "shower" people are bringing gifts- and if you don't register you will have a lot of stuff you don't want/like/need.

I personally don't get a shower, because our wedding has evolved into a non-guest event. But I had made a small registry for the shower, and kept things small to convey that for the wedding if anyone wanted to give a gift, money would be prefered.

We have been together for 6 years and lived together for 5. We didn't want to register either but there are small things here and there we need upgrading on, and we just had a casserole dish break so we are going to do a registry just for those who want to get us gifts. We figured it was best that way we are at least getting things we asked for and hopefully not something random that will collect dust like you mentioned.