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Devoted August 2018 Alberta

To invite or not to invite

Rosalyn, on February 24, 2018 at 18:40 Posted in Wedding reception 0 32

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My fiancé and I always had the rule that people where only allowed to bring a +1 if they were in a serious relationship. This decision was based on having a limited budget an very small amount of people allowed at the venue.

On of our close friends requested that he bring a date (he’s only known her a few weeks). At first I told him no, because of our incredibly small limit- we are already at our max..but then he said that he would really really like to bring her...so I said maybe...if someone declines the invite..

Am I in the wrong for not wanting someone who we’ve never met there? I would rather be able to invite another family member or friend if a space becomes available. Feeling guilty/guilted

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Latest activity by Rosalyn, on March 5, 2018 at 14:39

Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On March 5, 2018 at 14:39
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I agree! It’s nice having like minded people! I posted the same question on another site and was ripped apart! It’s difficult when you are paying for your wedding yourself and every dollar counts!
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Frequent user September 2018 Alberta
Jodi · On March 5, 2018 at 13:42
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We are looking at it as if we havnt met them 6 months prior they don't get a plus one. we are also having a small wedding and trying to keep costs down, we also are not allowing children due to the same thing.. if we get push back we can "see what we can do" and if we get people that cant come we can see if we can fit them in. We are also having an after party and will allow our guests to bring their plus ones there.
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Frequent user August 2018 British Columbia
Ashley · On March 4, 2018 at 21:48
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You're Welcome!
Happy planning!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On March 4, 2018 at 21:02
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Thank you Ashley!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On March 4, 2018 at 21:02
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Thanks Candace!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On March 4, 2018 at 21:01
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Oh totally! I’m not 100% saying no, just want to keep things open for people we are really close with!
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VIP May 2019 Ontario
Candace · On March 4, 2018 at 15:45
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We did the same thing where only people in a serious relationship would get a +1 and it has meant saying no to people bringing plus ones that they really want to bring. It sucks but ultimately it is your wedding and you want to spend it with certain people and not with strangers so if you end up saying no then you shouldn't feel guilty
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Frequent user August 2018 British Columbia
Ashley · On March 4, 2018 at 13:41
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We only did +1’s for those who were in serious relationships that we had either met before or were family.
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Master August 2019 Ontario
Bianca · On March 4, 2018 at 13:32
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I don't think you're wrong, but what if this girl ends up being "the one" for this close friend? It happens!
My now fiancé invited me as his date to his sisters wedding when we were 3 months in (his sisters wedding was 6 months from when we started dating), and had his sister said "no" to me going because I was a "stranger" I would definitely have resentment towards her (whether I wanted to or not).
Have an open mind about this date and see where they are by the time your August wedding comes along.
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 27, 2018 at 20:42
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Exactly!!!
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VIP June 2018 Ontario
Jen · On February 27, 2018 at 14:40
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RIGHT?! lol made me feel like a total knob but oh well. They hid it, including the engagement lol so how was anybody to know?
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 26, 2018 at 21:13
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Thanks Courtney!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 26, 2018 at 21:12
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Oops!! I mean ya can’t read minds 😛
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 26, 2018 at 21:12
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I mean I get why it’s nice to do it, but I also don’t want randos in the pictures lol
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Expert August 2018 Ontario
Jocelyn · On February 26, 2018 at 21:06
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Im a "no ring/no bring" type too (or "not serious, no bring" as it goes for some!)
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Super July 2018 Ontario
Courtney · On February 26, 2018 at 13:55
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Don't feel guilty! As a close friend he should understand where you're coming from.
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VIP June 2018 Ontario
Jen · On February 26, 2018 at 13:37
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I had this same issue with one of my friends who just started dating this girl a few months ago. We ended up saying yes to him only because he needs to travel 1000's of kms to be at our wedding and doesn't have family here. We decided that for anybody who hasn't been in a relationship for at least a year that they weren't getting a +1. We shortly found out after that one of the cousins who were invited just got engaged too.. and nobody knew that they were even together for a years lol oops.
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Expert August 2018 Manitoba
Vanessa · On February 26, 2018 at 10:06
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My FH was putting a plus 1 by his single friends and I was like why? He’s like well they could bring so and so. I’m like no serious relationship no go. At the time of one of my cousins wedding my poppa was given a plus one and my grandma past away and he was gonna take my daughter so I could bring my boyfriend of a month so glad I didn’t. Let’s just say that didn’t last much longer and I met him before my FH.
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 25, 2018 at 22:23
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Haha thanks!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 25, 2018 at 22:23
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Thank you Rhea! Totally agree!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 25, 2018 at 20:34
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Thanks!! You’re so right the seating is proving to be difficult
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Expert August 2018 Ontario
Jocelyn · On February 25, 2018 at 17:25
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In short; no
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Curious February 2019 British Columbia
Rhea · On February 25, 2018 at 17:21
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I don't think you are wrong to not allow the plus 1 at all! Also, chances are he's going to know other people there since he's a close friend of yours so he doesn't need a date.

We are having a very small wedding and also not letting people have plus 1 unless it's a serious relationship. We also really like the idea of knowing all our guests since our wedding will be so small I definitely don't want to be meeting someone for the first time on my wedding day.
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Super March 2018 Ontario
Jessica · On February 25, 2018 at 16:05
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I completely agree with you. I ended up allowing a lot of people to bring +1s, and the seating chart is now proving to be difficult, and some of them, we're getting "I'm not sure anymore". Definitely stick to your gut. I think it was nice of you to say about someone declining an invite, but your welcome to stick with no.
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VIP June 2019 Ontario
Holly · On February 25, 2018 at 01:28
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We are the same. No one gets a plus one unless it's a actually serious commited relationship. No exceptions. Don't feel like the bad guy, it's your day and you can do whatever you want. If he gets upset about it honestly just tell him to get over it, there are other weddings he can take her too if they remain in a relationship. He is your friend and he should understand.
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Frequent user June 2018 British Columbia
Kris · On February 25, 2018 at 01:12
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You aren't wrong. I think you are being very fair with letting those in serious relationships bring a plus one. And nice letting him know if someone declines he can bring the new girl. Stay strong and don't feel guilty over this
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 24, 2018 at 21:36
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Thank you Emily!
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Devoted November 2018 Ontario
Emily · On February 24, 2018 at 21:31
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You are totally justified in your uneasiness! I've been to a wedding where I was the only one from our friend group allowed to bring a plus one, my now fiance (then boyfriend) because the couple wasn't comfortable with everyone else's plus ones. No one was angry about it and we all still had a lovely time. I'm going to be making similar rules for mine. I totally get not wanting a stranger there! Stay strong
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 24, 2018 at 20:21
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Thanks Maegan!
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Devoted August 2018 Alberta
Rosalyn · On February 24, 2018 at 20:21
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It’s so difficult to stick to the plan! I’ve had some people tell me I was cruel for not allowing +1 unless it was a serious relationship. But if the person knows half of the people there it won’t be a boring day or anything. I would let him if he didn’t know anyone - but I also have a list of people I want to invite if we get some declines!

Good luck girl! I think people should/will understand!
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Super July 2018 British Columbia
Maegan · On February 24, 2018 at 20:05
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You are not wrong at all! Guests lists have a way of growing and its hard when theres limitted space.
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Curious October 2019 Ontario
Ellen · On February 24, 2018 at 19:47
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You're not wrong at all; I am in the same boat right now! I am trying to keep our numbers down, but the list just keeps getting longer and longer! Everyone says I just have to be firm but it is so hard, I don't want to disapoint anyone.
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To invite or not to invite

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