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Katie
Curious February 2020 Ontario

To Bridesmaid or not to bridesmaid....

Katie, on February 18, 2018 at 23:57 Posted in Before the wedding 0 28

So, I have a question or two for you ladies! I NEED ADVICE BADLY!!!!

I am trying to pick my bridesmaids and am in a very tight situation. The first being, I need my number of bridesmaids to be an even number. I have two sisters and my fiance has two as well, whom if which I really want to include. So that's four bridesmaids right there....

Now, I have 3 special ladies in my life whom I am very close. Keeping in mind, I need an even number of ladies beside me, I feel awful leaving one out.... I also found out that my best friend ( I wanted her to be my MOH) is pregnant now and feel like it would be extremely difficult for her to fill the MOH role, when she is going to be busy with her new bundle of joy, I just don't want to stress her out, or end up being disappointed.

Another problem is that I would prefer the groomsmen to match the number of ladies I have... and my fiances friend circle is much smaller than mine.... So it may be better to keep to just family....

So, if I choose my 4 sisters as my bridesmaids/MOH, is that a good way to keep anyone from feeling left out? Is there a way I can ease the blow softly, I am very anxious about breaking the news....

Is there any other way I can include my best friends in the wedding, kinda like unofficial bridesmaids?

What should I do?

Thanks girlys!!! xoxo Smiley heart

28 Comments

Latest activity by Becky, on March 19, 2018 at 08:37
  • Becky
    VIP September 2019 Ontario
    Becky ·
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    You could ask one to be the MC and still include her in all the bridesmaid type things just unofficially. This is what I did with my sister to have her included !

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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks Courtney, that’s a great idea!!!
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thankyou so much for that reminder Terri!! I completely agree with you.
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Breanne! I thought I was alone with that and I’m glad I’m not!! There’s something about even numbers!!! I’d have the wedding February 02 2020 if I could but the 2nd of January has more of a significance to us!!! Best of luck on your special day ❤️
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks Emily!!!
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks Kris!!
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  • Kris
    Frequent user June 2018 British Columbia
    Kris ·
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    I think sticking with family will make it easier to soften the blow and also keep with the even number. You can include them in other duties like speeches, MC, etc

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  • Emily
    Devoted November 2018 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    Oh wow that is tricky! I would stick with the sisters/in-laws. If you still want to include your pregnant friend as the maid of honour, depending on what kind of ceremony you're having, she can still be the one to sign the marriage certificate for you, while your sisters do all the official bridesmaids duties. But I think if keep things in the family, your friends should understand. And remember the most important people on that day are your and your future husband, not the entorage. Smiley smile Best of luck!!!
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  • Breanne
    Expert August 2018 Ontario
    Breanne ·
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    I just wanted to say I totally have an even number thing too Smiley winking Our wedding date had to be on all even numbers for me (08/18/18) because it was a number that comes up every year. It's pretty strange but you're not alone Smiley smile

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  • T
    Frequent user August 2018 British Columbia
    Terri ·
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    In my opinion your bridesmaids should be the people that calm you down, keep you level headed and don’t cause drama. I understand your sisters but other than that choose the people you not not who you feel you have to have there.
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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
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    You could keep it as the sisters, no one would be offended in that case. You can ask your friends to do readings in the ceremony, or invite them to get ready with you in the morning and then do some pictures with them!

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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Going to do my best to keep the party small, and include everyone I can on my morning, as well as with some flower headbands or bracelets or something... Thanks so much for your opinions and ideas Smiley smile it has been quite helpful!!!

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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks Holly!!! Odd numbers just bug me so I'm trying to stick to even numbers and keeping the wedding party manageable... I hope everyone understands... I appreciate your comment! Thanks girl!!

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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Small and simple, great idea Vinod Smiley smile I like the idea of 2 MOH's

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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thank you Erin for commenting, the thing is I am a bit of a perfectionist and have a thing for even numbers, so that just has to happen.... My fiance and I are planning everything so far, so keeping the wedding party to a manageable size is important. Ugh this wedding anxiety is just killing me, because I am worried about disappointing.... even though it is my day, I have some very opinionated people in my life lol....

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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks Maya, I actually love that idea!!!! Smiley smile

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  • Erin
    Master September 2017 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I think you need to not fixate so much on the numbers and more the who means that much to you that you would like them up there. A small wedding party is definitely easier and has less opinions than a larger one. Whomever you choose to be your bridesmaids, no one should be offended; your wedding, your choice. If you feel like having your family up there is the most important and that keeps it small then go for it. We had uneven numbers and it wasn't a problem at all.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Having a small wedding party is better than overthinking an uneven large one. Our day was only 2 MOHs and 2 BM (Best Men) only.
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  • Holly
    VIP June 2019 Ontario
    Holly ·
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    Do whatever feels right, if including your best friends means that much to you then a number shouldn't stop you. My fiance had 5 next to him and I have 4. At first I thought the odd number would bother me but it doesn't at all. But if you do just choose family then no one should be offended, and if they are that just means you mean a lot to that person, so they will quickly get over it! Even if you choose to include your friends over your fiance's sisters you can always find something for them as they are still family and will be happy no matter what. My brother's aren't in the wedding party but we have them as usher as well as saying a speech.
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  • Maya
    Expert January 2019 Alberta
    Maya ·
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    I have the same issue where my fiancé’s circle of friends is smaller than mine. I may end up having 4 bridesmaids and only 3 groomsmen unless he asks another person. I’m okay with the odd number because I have 2 really close friends that will both be my MOH’s and they will walk down the isle together with the best man.

    But if you are set on even numbers maybe have the friend with the baby involved by having her baby be a flower girl or a ring bearer depending on the age of her baby and she can carry it down the isle. Or you could have one of your sisters and one of your fiancé’s sister walk down before you and then they can split off and one can stand on each side.

    In my situation I have a best friend who’s baby will be 9months about at my wedding. I know it will too much for her to be the only MOH and that is why I will have 2 maid of honours.

    Another way that might include your sisiters is to get them to walk you down the isle with your dad. I have 4 sisters, but I didn’t grow up with them so I’m not as close. My one brother I grew up with is going to walk me down the isle with my mom. My dad and I aren’t as close, but I’m going to look at how I can include him. Just some ideas Smiley smile good luck
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  • Amanda
    Frequent user September 2018 New Brunswick
    Amanda ·
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    I would keep your bridal party to family, then no one can be offended. But maybe invite your special ladies to help you get ready in the morning.

    I'm also making corsages/boutonnieres for anyone "special" but unable to be IN the bridal party.
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  • Emily
    Devoted October 2018 Ontario
    Emily ·
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    Hi Katie,
    Me and my FH aren’t doing a formal wedding party but we still wanted to incorporate our special people for the day of. One thing we are doing that might work for you is still ask the girls to be part of your morning and be with you while you are getting ready. We are also doing flower bracelets and boutineres as way to make them feel included. Just a thought!
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks Alexandra, I do agree that family only is the best way to go!! I appreciate your response. Helps me de-stress a little!
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks for replying Taylor Smiley smile I love hearing how other women are making these decisions.
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  • Katie
    Curious February 2020 Ontario
    Katie ·
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    Thanks so much for taking the time to respond to me!! That is a good idea Smiley smile
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  • A
    Newbie January 2019 Alberta
    Amber ·
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    You could involve your close friends (1 or 2) by having them be the MC(s) for the reception. Just an idea.
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  • Taylor
    Frequent user June 2018 Ontario
    Taylor ·
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    I would stick with family, your best friends can be included in your planning along the way if they want anyways without having a title. I have no bridesmaids and only one MOH and I have friends/family stepping up to help anyways
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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
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    If your only bridesmaids are siblings that’s a pretty sure fire way to not offend anyone.
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