The wedding party

I have found that people often become flakes when the wedding stuff is introduced into your relationships with others. You see their true colours as well. We've had some trouble with our party. I'm sorry things aren't working out for you either. Let them know how they're making you feel.

We have a bridesmaid, a groomsmen and the best man who have all seemed to dissapear when we really need them. I'm hoping it changes, but all you can do is talk to them.
Some people don't really use their wedding party much where others use them a lot so they may not know how involved to be

I am having this same problem !!!! I just wrote a post looking for advice on this as well. We find our guys especially are avoiding all planning especially the best man. My girls are doing their best, usually its just myself that's turning them down because my diy/craft time is my relaxing time... But my FH is having trouble getting the guys to help get my mother in laws farm prepped in a way. Not a lot of work just moving some wood and raking mulch. but there has been a lot of resistance and very little remorse. Even our stag and doe I found my FH and I did all of the work ! and as far as we understood that was something the wedding party was supposed to take on for us ! .... I was worried we were expecting too much from them.. but we have only asked for help for the stag and doe and now this property prep... I am stuck as to how to react to all of this...

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If it's the groomsmen you're worried about, have your FH talk to them clearly about your expectations and hopefully they'll all be okay with this.

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Honestly, from my experience most men tend not to think about things like that. I would definitely ask them directly if they can do specific tasks, because it honestly probably didn't occur to them at all that you might need them to do specific things but when you ask they'll do it. Obviously if they say no and don't have a good reason, then I would be concerned.

It is the groomsmen I'm really worried about. But yes, thank you. Hopefully some better directions will get it done.
I am having a backyard, rustic wedding, 100 guests. So we have a lot of rental pick up set up and tear down to do.

MIA is never good, and based off the previous comments reaching out to them is a common trend and a great idea lol. I don’t know how helpful my advice will be as we’re in a bit of a unique situation. We are getting married 4 provinces from where we actually live and have pieces of our wedding party both in Ontario and in Alberta so I hired a wedding planner (best money ever spent). Butt when I’ve needed my MOH she’s been there to help as best as possible. I hope your wedding party steps up and gives you guys a hand, we all understand how stressful this can be.

Definitely send out a quick message and just send a few requests out for certain people? I think it's usually the general assumption that bridal parties help out before the wedding. Maybe they're just too afraid to ask what they need to do? You never know

Thank you ladies. I will reach out to everyone.

Definitely asking someone to be in your wedding party comes with the extras and not only the day-of, within reason. I had a bridal party all over the country, so those who I knew would be able to help out, I used when I needed.

Make sure to check in with them, and give them specific tasks. I never waited for them to come and ask, I would just send them a message and kindly ask if they could do "such and such" for me. Make sure to give them a reasonable time to do it though.

Good luck and enjoy the day!

No, your not wrong.

Forgive me if you’ve done this already, but maybe it would be helpful to send a quick message to your wedding party to let them know what you need help with.

When I was a moh I offered to help with anything I could. One bestie was prepared and gave notice and used me whenever she could. Another was unprepared and understood that if I was MIA it was due to an unavoidable conflict.

But when I was a bridesmaid for my SIL I was expected to just show up on the wedding day for photos.

Either way - it’s good to know what’s expected bc every couple is different.

Good luck with the process!