M
Ontario

Testing out hairstyles, concerns about heat damage

May, on July 13, 2021 at 16:13 Posted in Beauty 0 9
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Hey everyone. Was looking for a bit of perspective on BMs testing out hairstyles leading up to the wedding. Personally I never use heat on my hair because it is prone to damage and I keep it very long so it would take years to repair, but would be happy to use heat once for my friend's wedding.

(Edited) She has asked for a hairstyle that will require a curler and flat iron which I will also do for the one day., but to be honest I am very anxious about repeated heat damage as I was bullied quite brutally for frizzy hair growing up and still have a hard time coping.

IMPORTANT EDIT: I haven't told her about my worries about heat damage yet because I know she'll say it's fine even if she's disappointed, so I'd just like to guage how big of a request it might be to opt out of heat-based trials pre-wedding. I don't want to be unreasonable especially since I am her MOH and I want their day to be perfect, but am wondering if it might be reasonable to instead just ask to do it for the wedding instead of using heat so many times.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Isabella, on July 24, 2021 at 07:07
  • Isabella
    Newbie September 2022 Newfoundland and Labrador
    Isabella ·
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    You're not unreasonable. If anything, I think she is the one being unreasonable

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  • M
    Ontario
    May ·
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    View quoted message

    Thank you for the reply, and the tips. Will start searching right away for a curly stylist in the area

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  • M
    Ontario
    May ·
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    View quoted message

    Thank you for the practical suggestions, and the insight. Will be feeling a lot less awkward approaching the subject knowing that a trial run isn't necessarily standard practice for simple hairstyles

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  • Stacey TC
    Featured August 2022 Saskatchewan
    Stacey TC ·
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    Trials are definitely not needed for a wedding party.

    If it were me, I'd phone the salon ahead of time and see if you can request a stylist that specializes in curly hair. If that's not an option, just make sure to let your stylist know you are concerned with heat damage and have had issues in the past. A good stylist will be able to make sure your hair is protected and know that your concerns are valid.

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  • Christiana
    Super November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
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    I’ve honestly never heard of a bridesmaid having to do a hair trial before the wedding. But if you get your hair styled twice a couple of months apart you’re not going to have much damage. Just let the hair stylist know about your concerns and they can use proper heat protection - hopefully they’d do it anyway. And maybe do a deep conditioning treatment after each styling session to help with any damage.
    But overall just weird she’s even asking you to do this unless it’s a super intricate hairstyle or something imo.
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  • M
    Ontario
    May ·
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    View quoted message

    That is true, we don't have a single hairdresser we have to use fortunately as well. Being able to alternative styles just in case pre-trials are necessary sounds like a good idea too, I'll talk with her about it and be ready with a a few. Thanks again for the support, and the advice I appreciate it.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Makeup and hair trials are a nice to have, not a must have as long as it doesn't affect your daily life. Some people charge hundreds of dollars for a trial and I think it would be unfair to expect the bridal party to burden the cost when it's something demanded by the bride. And in your case, since it can actually cause damage, I think opting out of a trial is completely fair.

    Sounds like your bride is reasonable and I'm sure if you explain to her the damage it'll do to your hair, she'll be fine with it. If she insists on a trial for pre-approval purposes, maybe suggest another hairstyle that won't require heat.

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  • M
    Ontario
    May ·
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    Thanks for the quick reply. No I haven't voiced my concerns to her yet honestly because I know she'll say it's fine no matter what and I just wanted to check myself first. (Sorry that is important and I accidentally deleted it from the the original post, will edit it back).

    I have just been wondering if asking to opt out of with-heat trials was an unreasonable request in itself, since I did tell someone else and they said what she was asking was completely normal and that I really should be doing trials before the wedding.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    You're not unreasonable. If anything, I think she is the one being unreasonable.

    When she asked you to be the MOH, was one of the conditions that she can dictate how you wear your hair and the methodology of achieving such hair? If not, then it's not what you signed up for. Causing bodily damage for someone else's dream of a wedding is not worth it under any circumstances.

    I hope your bride is reasonable and she's not actually pushing for it when you've indicated the damage it can cause.

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