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Curious November 2026 Alberta

Terrified of Attention

Bea, on June 28, 2023 at 00:46 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 3

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I never wanted a wedding. I have been married before and I eloped. My fiancé has never been married and he wants a fancy wedding in a hotel. I tried to convince my fiancé to elope because I don’t want to spend money on a wedding and I HATE being the centre of attention. I also tried to convince my fiancé to have a tiny wedding at a restaurant. He is adamant that we have a larger formal wedding. I’m only doing this to please my fiancé. I feel like I don’t want to come to my own wedding because it sickens me.

I hate loud parties. There will be a DJ and dancing. I don’t want to stand up in front of people with all eyes on me.
I wish I could just frequently leave the reception but of course that would be rude. Everyone will be expecting me to get on the dance floor. Maybe I can feign sickness and stay in our hotel room after the ceremony and first dance hahaha. I’m going to need some tranquilizers to get through my wedding. Maybe the wedding will be easier if I’m out of it.

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3 Comments

Latest activity by Kelli, on July 15, 2023 at 13:48

Frequent user September 2024 Alberta
Kelli · On July 15, 2023 at 13:48
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Try to talk to your fiancé in depth how this would affect you. He should try to take what you want into consideration. Try to work on figuring out a compromise that sounds good to both of you. That’s how relationships work, both gives up a bit but finds a plan together so both are happy. Your guest won’t judge if you do sneak away to recharge for a little bit.
Best of luck!
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Featured August 2022 Ontario
Kate · On June 29, 2023 at 08:35
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Agreed! I had a friend who suffered from a lot of anxiety on her day so after the ceremony/before the reception she went and had a nap. Everyone was supportive and it was not seen as rude at all. Do what you need to do to keep it together and to keep it a beautiful day for yourself
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Frequent user October 2023 Ontario
Mila · On June 29, 2023 at 05:19
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That sounds stressful! Try explaining to your fiancé again how much this is bothering you. I feel similar to you, fiancé understood this so we’re having a small wedding. Coming from a South Asian/ Hispanic background having a formal 300+ guest wedding is the norm, so we’ve had comments from family about the small size and informality but everyone is still very accepting and excited.

Recently went to a friends wedding and the bride wasn’t there shortly after the first dance, my friend (groom) told anyone who asked that she was having a nap. She came and joined us at the end and the couple had a beautiful unplanned last dance. No one at any point considered this rude in the slightest. Everyone was thoroughly impressed that a. There was a spot at the venue to do so and b. She was taking the time to recharge. So worse comes to worse, your guests would be equally understanding and be okay with you stepping away. Good luck!
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