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Jessica
Newbie August 2021 Ontario

Super small non tradional wedding

Jessica, on September 16, 2020 at 21:59 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 4
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I really was not sure what to title this. Basically we are having a very small (15people) just immediate family and a couple close friends. The whole this is taking place at a family friends beach house on a private beach and the reception if you even want to call it that is a backyard barbecue no speeches, no first dance nothing like that. I never wanted a big $10k+ wedding its just not us. I did get a dress and i did hire a photographer. The plan was no bridesmaids no groomsmen just our witnesses who i guess would still be considered MOH and BM. My sister who was left at the alter last year had volunteered herself as a bridesmaid and after what happened to her i feel bad telling her no, she doesnt seem to be understanding what we are doing she keeps asking about who she can walk down the aisle with and acting like other people will set up the tables because when she planned her wedding she had all that. Tonight I was trying to make a rough schedule for the wedding day as requested by the photographer so I asked her and my MOH about it. My MOH was being very helpful but once my sister jumped in i became overly stressed. I dont know what im really looking for typing all this. Has anyone else ever planned a wedding like this small and untraditional? Any advise? Also how the heck do you create a rough schedule to book your photographer?



Wedding is August 28th 2021 btw.

4 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on September 18, 2020 at 10:35
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    Family is helpful yet over bearing at times making it stressful for us planning our big day. I went through the same as my brother wasn't about the schedule as never talked about, it was about the transportation mainly.

    The topic on hand is putting your schedule as if your going on a day basis with half hour and full hour. Consider the time frame of when you want to start and end. Consider the factors of how long it will take for each portion of services needed.

    Wedding dress and ceremony items shots

    Hair/Make up

    Getting Ready

    Family shots (parents, siblings, nieces & nephews, full)

    Ceremony

    Group shots (list of guests in order of groups and both families as one)

    Couple shots

    Reception entrance

    First Dance

    Cake cutting

    Mother/Son and Father/Daughter dances

    Speeches

    Party shots

    • Reply
  • Geneviève
    VIP September 2020 Ontario
    Geneviève ·
    • Dispute
    I’m sorry your sister is steamrolling you a bit, but you’ll have to nip that in the bud if you want her to stop.
    When we had our wedding (30 guests) my mom was the one offering opinions that began to stress me out. Eventually for the sake of clarity, we explained that the wedding was small and this list of people were the ones who were being invited/this is our vision/this is what we’re doing, and that it wasn’t up for negotiation. Eventually I just stopped telling my mother about details until they were set in stone just because she would still try to change our minds; hopefully your sister will ease up on you once you’re straightforward with her.
    As for planning your timeline, I found the detail we needed before setting everything else in motion was the hair and makeup. Once we knew how long that would take, we could plan the rest of the day accordingly (especially if you want getting ready shots).
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia
    Michelle ·
    • Dispute

    Try and ignore the comments. My mom and sister were very persistent in the beginning always asking why I’m not doing certain things and why I chose a destination wedding, where and how the ceremony would be ect. Eventually I kind of just got mad, saying I was doing it the way I wanted. Call it selfish, but it’s the one day I can make it about what I want, and of course what my fiancé wants lol. He’s more easy going though. For the photographer, I suggest working the time line backwards. What time is the ceremony, and do you want professional ceremony pictures? I would suggest photos before ceremony for you and your fiancé and photos during the ceremony. I’ve hired the photographer for 3 hours 1.5 before ceremony family and the 2 people in the wedding, and us alone. 30-45 minutes Ceremony pictures of everyone, then we are doing private pictures right after the ceremony at sunset (during cocktail hour) for 45 minutes. We are not doing those traditional first look, getting ready phots, first dances, grand exit ect. I hope that helps you a bit.

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    Hey Jessica, it's really cool of you to be supportive of your sister after what happened to her.

    Considering your wedding is still a while away, I would first just not mention anything about the wedding to her or in front of her for a while. Just let the idea fizzle out of her while you do your thing. If after a while and she's still trying to impose, I suggest you emphasize the non-traditional aspects of your wedding. Make it really apparent that all the stuff you see in reality shows on TLC/E! and all the industry norms and buy-ins are the exact opposite of what you're planning for your wedding. Hopefully your sister will understand once you communicated this out loud. I'm glad to hear you have your MOH/witness as support who understands your vision.

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