Struggling

You are definitely not alone!! I've been struggling so hard the past couple of months trying to figure out what to do and mourning the loss of our original plans as well. Our original date was September 2020 but we postponed to June 13 2021 thinking things will be WAY BETTER by now... and now things seem worse. Initially we hoped to keep our outdoor ceremony at the venue at least but recently found solace in cancelling our venue altogether and plan a small 10-30 person backyard ceremony (dinner for immediate family/9 ppl only) instead, to save ourselves the stress and lost deposits/payments if there's a 3rd wave/restrictions don't allow enough guests/our venue has to close. I totally agree, it kinda feels like we are trying to salvage/make do with whatever we can at this point but it's kind of freeing at the same time. By doing backyard, at least the only thing we need to adjust is our guest count, no last min venue change/rearranging location with all the vendors. It's so hard to know what the right thing to do is, but at this point we're just trying to eliminate as much stress for ourselves as possible.

You are 100% not alone, girl!

It's definitely a struggle. Grieving what I thought would be my wedding (even though I swore up and down that I didn't care about a big wedding! lol) But when you start planning, and get everything going and have this vision, and see it coming to life, it's absolutely heartbreaking to see it fall apart, at no fault of your own.

I don't have an answer for you... just know that the struggle is real! I've gone through every emotion possible from feeling angry and pissed off, to feeling guilty about having anxiety, to just flat out sad. Sending you hugs and wishing you the best!!

So tough... feeling all the feels. Trying to stay positive but realistic on that the wedding will be different from what we (I😂) envisioned when we were first engaged. It’s comforting to know we are all feeling it, and will do what feels right (and safe) at the time. I’m July 3, 2021

The times of pandemic puts us all in a insecure position to know what may come of the restrictions and wedding planning times. We do feel its something we don't want to deal with it yet its what we need to overcome it. Your on the right path of continuing the planning and working with the vendors to make the dates work for you both as they understand the difficult times for many couples. Your strong and be patient with it all clearing up sometime in the year or two.

View quoted message I'm so sorry to hear about those negative comments. I wish those around us would understand or at the very least try to put themselves in our position. Yes, you are right - we need hope.

I am struggling just like you. My wedding is April 30th. I have just gotten okay with reduced numbers and we moved our ceremony outside. This way we have the best chance at the most people for our ceremony. I have a sister who says she will come if she gets the vaccine. Which is silly, she's not a front line worker or elderly. Then I have other family that are just our right saying no wedding will happen.


I'm not slow when it comes to understanding the restriction levels but I want to hope for the best. I need a glimmer of hope! Plan for many scenarios but hope for the best!

View quoted message Thank you so much, that sounds like a great technique that offers structure (something I desperately need now). Thank you, I really appreciate it!

Covid is so unprecedented in the ways it’s providing stress to absolutely everything in our lives, and makes the already stressful task of planning even worse. I remember how little sleep we got, the constant hounding from family and friends on what the plan was when we didn’t know ourselves, and the what ifs that kept going over and over in our heads. It was honestly awful and it felt like no one (other than the WW community) understood what we were going through. You’ve got this! Always remember that you’ll be with your person at last and covid will end (hopefully sooner rather than later!)
The best thing to combat the spiralling for me was grounding my thoughts in the realities of the restrictions we faced at the time. Something that helped us was a technique I stole from my mediation class: state what your best outcome looks like given the current trajectory, the worst outcome you’ll accept before postponing, and the likely middle ground that you’d be okay with having. This helped us find our decision-making cutoffs and helped keep things positive rather than constantly thinking of worst case scenarios. If things get stressful, you can always come talk to us!

View quoted message Yes, that's also adding to the stress. At this point it feels like we're just trying to salvage whatever we can. We've thought about that too (legally marrying on our wedding day) but then anger and sadness soon follow. We're also worried about vendors going out of business. So many things I had never thought of before the pandemic.

It feels so tough to make decisions when we have no idea what it will be like this summer! My worry is if I wait too long to change the date will all my vendors not be able to work on the same day next year. We have decided to still get legally married June 27th because we hope to start a family next year but host the reception and a vow renewal maybe in April next year if the numbers for guests don’t go up to at least 100.

View quoted message I know, right? We assumed this year we would be better off last year (one of my main concerns about postponing again). Hoping and wishing for the best for us both as well as anyone else struggling).

I feel the exact same way. I have no idea what the right decision is. Seems like this year is almost worse than last.