Stepmother of the Bride Dress Etiquette

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Thank you!

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Awe, I'm sorry about your relationship with your mom. I'm glad you have your SM and your MIL to plan and enjoy with!

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Thank you!

I do not talk to my mom and she will not be there, I am taking my step mom out this month to start looking. If she doesnt find something we have a date set August long weekend where I will be taking both stepmom and MIL.

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Wow, I love this! Very classy!

I would say check with your stepdaughter. That kind of rule/order would probably depend on how she feels and if you or the MOG have specific roles or anything for the special day. Good luck! I'm sure you'll look fabulous!

We've been online shopping and this is our current favourite.

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I think you're right about the nature of the relationship setting the standard. Oddly, I guess I was worried that some people might think I was being pushy to take on the role of MOB, even though that's exactly the role that the bride has viewed as mine from the start. As far as she's concerned, I've been her mom for nearly a decade. I'm the one she shares all her good news with, and the one she comes to for advice, support, or a shoulder to cry on in rough patches.

It's tough when the parents don't get along. Her mom has hardly spoken a word to her dad for over 15 years. Her mom would definitely not sit beside her dad, if she did come to the wedding, so that would create a whole new issue.

If your parents and stepparents would all sit amicably at the ceremony, then that would be ideal. Stepparents could be seated after mom, if dad's walking you down the aisle. If you're walking down alone, then they could walk down the aisle as couples, I would think. If not, then the way it used to be is that the stepparents would sit a row or two back and be essentially treated as guests. Not ideal these days, but that used to be the standard. At the reception, it would be easier, since each current couple could have their own table. Unless a stepparent is particularly important to you, I'm thinking they wouldn't give a speech.

I didn't realize there was a dress pecking order for moms lol. I don't believe that many people follow these etiquette rules anymore. My mother in law had a dress long before my mom even went shopping.

Maybe talk with your stepdaughter and see what her thoughts are on who should pick first, or if it even matters to her.

This is a tough one, and I actually have a lot of questions for you as I am on the opposite side of this. My Mother will be picking her Dress the same time MIL does, that being said, I haven't really thought about my Step Mother having to pick a dress as I didn't really consider her to take a "BIG" part on this day, as I feel like it should be a day more for My Mother & Father.

If you have more of the Mother relationship I would speak to your step daughter and see what she would like and how she feels. If the MOB isn't attending I would step in right away as the MOB, but I would definitely speak with her first.

That being said my relationship with my step parents are all AMAZING no issues with anyone, but My parents till this day don't get along very well. My Question to you would be - Should my Step Mother have a larger part in my wedding like speech or Entrance? What do you think about it?

These really are old rules that throw back to when the bride's parents hosted (and paid for the wedding), so I guess they are mostly a thing of the past. Thanks, everyone, for the reassurance! I really shouldn't worry so much!

Our mom's made sure they were on the same page style wise and both went out and got whatever they want. I personally have never heard of this buying order before.

None of the mother in our wedding following buying order. I think my stepmom got hers first, then my mother-in-law and then my mom. I don't think it matters who purchases first. I've never heard of this. Maybe talk to your step-daughter and see what her opinion is on this and go from there. I don't think it matters who purchases first or not. Hopefully everyone involved also doesn't seem to mind and can just go along with what works best.

Mothers of the Groom and Bride may have different dress styles they like based on the colour you choose for them. The choice of going the same dress they both like can be a solution to a win win case.

My FH (bride's dad) and I are (finally) getting married in October, but we haven't had this sort of thing to deal with, being older. It honestly never occurred to me until sometime in the middle of the night last night. Then I started googling the etiquette this morning and got myself all worried.

I agree with Lisa. Check with the bride, it is the easiest way to go.

My step mom is wearing a silver/ grey dress and my bridesmaids are wearing burgundy. I am a little scared to see what my MIL will be wearing lol

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Oh yikes! That could be a bit awkward. I hope they both have a good sense of humour about it and you okay with it!

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We've talked about what she'd like and we're exchanging ideas and pix we find. She wants her dad in his "whites", so we've talked about what she envisions for me to wear that will go with his uniform. And maybe taking advantage of summer sales or this year's sample sales. You're right, it's her opinion that counts.

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We have fun shopping together, even online. (I even bought her her wedding dress.)

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She's given me some guidelines and we're already sending ideas back and forth. You're right, it's her opinion that matters.

I would take the led like you were mentioning then- honestly this is first I have heard about it and I wish this would have been considered for my wedding but it wasn't.. My mom did buy hers and then the MOG did and its exact same color and style just shorter. So hoping photo's look okay.

Well... last week I went to go see my FH's Mom with him as he has been out of province for work and we were due for a visit.... she already bought her dress....

I mean, as long as it doesn't match the bridesmaids colour I don't care - it looks like any other formal dress to me anyway. I may just get the parents buttons to wear to stand out (I don't like corsages or boutonnieres..)

I say to wait until she tells you what's what. Now would be the time to buy the dress so that it's for the Summertime but maybe when there are sales going on you could bring it up that way? Just look for her opinion on what you wear.

We are very close, and I'm so glad we are! As far as she's concerned, I'm "mom". My daughters are her sisters and will be bridesmaids. She's including me in the dreaming and planning, and I bought her wedding dress for her. Her mom hasn't even responded to her message about the engagement. Maybe I'm overthinking?

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Beautiful!

My mom went shopping one day and asked what I thought about different dresses. I told her I was thinking navy and maybe floor length - she tried one some shorter ones but this was my favourite:

She actually got her dress before mine and my dad is getting a tie/pocket square to match.

I would talk with your step-daughter about her thoughts and maybe even ask her to come with you while you shop! I don't think the whole MOB buys first really applies here, I think you'd be okay with buying first.

Honestly, I would just have an open conversation with your step daughter. Ask her thoughts, even ask if she wants to come dress shopping with you. Or even if you know the MOG speak to her on what she is planning on doing.

My step dad is my dad as far as I am concerned, and from the sounds of it you and your step daughter are fairly close as well.

It's always smart to ask the bride, and that should alleviate any unforeseen drama.

I would recommend looking for a dress in a style you like and then check with your step daughter to see if she feels it goes with her ideas for the day - MOB is irrelevant if your step daughter is okay with it, as it's her wedding.