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Alyssa
Curious April 2021 Manitoba

Spenders guilt/remorse

Alyssa, on September 18, 2020 at 23:29 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 8
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Hey everyone.
When I started planning my wedding and booking things I was really excited. Now that I’m starting to move forward in the planning process I noticed I’m starting to experience really bad spenders guilt or spenders remorse. It’s making me want to make so many cuts and even go back and change things that we had originally planned even though we are in budget. Our budget is small because I am a frugal person and I knew from the start that I didn’t want to spend a ton of money on one day, but if I want to have a wedding I need to be able to get over this feeling and be able to spend some money!
I’m wondering if anyone else has experienced these types of feelings, and how did you get past it? Or did you listen to your gut and make cuts to save money?Thank you!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Karina, on September 26, 2020 at 14:21
  • Karina
    Beginner September 2021 Ontario
    Karina ·
    • Dispute
    I have similar problem, and I constantly remind myself not to settle. For example if Vendor 1 costs more than Vendor 2, but I don't really enjoy V2 nearly as much V1 it'll be a waste of money to hire V2. Because I'll still end up spending a lot of money (almost every aspect of the wedding costs way more than I'm comfortable spending on any other occasion), but I won't receive service/results that makes me happy and makes the day memorable.
    Also, you can make money back, you will earn it again someday. But you won't be able to go back in time and relive certain moments. So when I'm hesitant to spend money on things that are important to me (not just wedding), I always ask myself whether I'll regret not spending a little more and make memories. If the answer is yes, then forget about money for a moment and go make memories❤️
    • Reply
  • Celine
    Frequent user October 2022 Quebec
    Celine ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Wow your spreadsheet sounds super duper detailed. Great job keeping on top of everything.
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    All couples come into this case and find themselves spending on things that may not be in the budget.

    I did find myself going into expenses where it wasn't needed and losing not much of the deposit. Some vendors did make it feel they wanted the business though their cost was higher and not needed. Decorator was hired as her services would have helped not knowing the break down charge was separate and costing almost $800 with taxes. Luckily, I cancelled on her and got back half of the $300 amount paid.

    The videographer was a mistake to cancel after a fight with my husband to be then and losing his services and half of $200 was given back.

    Considering the options of lower costs of rentals over purchases do make a big difference to avoid storing space at home. Online shopping does help too to return items if your not happy with them. It did save the cost of spending more than retail personally.

    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I totally felt this way after booking our photographer and venue and sending their deposits. All of a sudden it felt like a "done deal" that was unchangeable and permanent.


    Even on a budget weddings can be expensive. I found it helped to set aside little chunks frequently to use for paying deposits and future expenses. Having that slush fund meant that there was never a huge payment coming out of our personal accounts.
    • Reply
  • Tina
    Frequent user July 2021 Ontario
    Tina ·
    • Dispute

    Budget budget budget!

    I have a Google Sheet file that is FILLED with numbers. It has several columns: initial budget, adjusted budget (for when I learned what the realities were lol!), quoted and actual. Then I've got a column for date payment was made. That's just the budget sheet and it's over 200 lines. Then everything is sorted into different categories: already paid, payments scheduled (venue for instance), what will need to be paid in the month leading up to the wedding, what will be paid before then and what will be paid after (eg: thank-you cards). Then another categorization is needs vs wants: already paid, fixed costs (eg: venue rental), variable costs and not sure if necessary.

    Each item is in its own category: catering, bridal attire, groom's attire, rings, photography & video, stationery, beauty, flowers & decoration, ceremony services, reception services, entertainment, gifts & favors, transportation, and honeymoon. Each category is tallied as I enter numbers, and everything is added at the bottom.

    Then I have other sheets. A payments & saving schedule sheet where I put in all my paycheques and the date & how much from each goes to what. A catering sheet where I calculated the costs from various vendors based on different variables (cost for hors d'oeuvres, meal options, drink tickets vs open bar, and different numbers of guests). A guest list sheet in alphabetical order indicating likelihood of attending, # of drinks likely, who to send an invite to, etc. Then I have another page just for calculations like postage for everything, adding up printing for signage, etc.

    Finally, I have a summary page tallying the costs in the budget page and the payments & savings page that shows me if I'm over/under in my plans. I'm currently under, so I'm working on things I can cut and how to be able to save more.

    If you like, pm me and I can share the spreadsheet. But it's so personalized to me it might not make much sense to you.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    My fiance and I definitely felt this while we were planning for our wedding. You don't realize until later on that the money adds up really quick! 1000 dollars here 5000 there. But at the end of the day my fiance and I knew what kind of wedding we both wanted and if we needed to spend this kind of money to get what we wanted, then that's what we'll have to do. But we were also mindful of what we were spending and not going over the top.

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  • S
    Curious December 2022 Ontario
    Sam ·
    • Dispute
    I've definitely felt this! It helps me to think about how this is a once in a lifetime event. What are you going to regret more in 20+ years, spending a little extra, or missing out on something you wanted because you were worried about coming in under budget?
    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute
    I feel like there's a certain rush to book everything early and fast, which can lead to some errors in financial judgement. Were made to think we have to book a photographer, DJ, and other main vendors a year or more in advance for fear of not having them for our day when in reality there are so many vendors who can do the job as long as we properly vet them.
    If you can save money without compromising your wedding, you absolutely should. If you've already made the purchase then there's no turning back but if you think you can get the same item or service of equal quality for less with some patience, by all means. That being said, if you're spending within your means and it won't impact your financial situation, I wouldn't worry about it.
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