So lost

I would respond after i calm down asking her whats wrong. Shes your BFF she should be able to come to you. Plus for me i would need some closure as to why she doesnt want to be apart my wedding. that seems so out of the blue and so close to the wedding!!

View quoted message I am happy you are holding your tongue- I would do the same thing if I were in your shoes... and the fact that there is trash talk going on behind your back only proves the character more.
You will look back on this year’s down the road and be grateful to have had your sis by your side on this special day - everything always works out the way it is supposed too! Keep doing you

Wow what a low blow. I would uninvite both of them. Im sorry you got that thrown at you so close to

Do they still plan on attending the wedding? Give them a few days, then ask what’s happening and why this is coming out now?

My brother backed out of being BM to his best friends wedding 12 years ago, citing that it was because the bride was insane and they were wrong together. Fast-forward 12 years and 3 children, and this couple is wonderful together. My brothers relationship with his best friend survived too.

View quoted message My sister is happy to step up once she realized what I did and did not want her to due. I have not talked to the past BM and MOH but she has messaged me a few times, I am not really to talk. I know she is saying some nasty things behind my back, I'm hearing from other friends. Which is not making her look good. I am not just focusing on the wedding and getting the kids ready for back to school and sports. In the flip side, we are saving a few hundred dollars with them not coming. Lol

I would take a few days of not responding at all - and then determine whether it is worth it for your own closure to have a discussion with them.
I stress YOUR OWN CLOSURE as I do not believe you should allow these people to be involved in your wedding in any shape or form after they have communicated this to you in this way.
Your wedding day is about NO-ONE else but you and your partner, and you need to focus on the happy and positive parts of your day. When you get there, nothing else will matter but the 2 of you in those special moments, and the people you choose to have with you should be behind you 100%
If you do decide to open the conversation be prepared for them to say some difficult things you will most likely not want to hear considering their decision is based on a lack of support. I assume you must be close to them considering the roles they were given for the day - so I know telling you to move on and brush it off is easier said than done. If you still want to have a relationship with them it will take time for them to prove themselves to you as friends again after this - and right now the only thing you should be focused on is your special day and making it everything you both have ever dreamed. There is nothing wrong with being “selfish” in this situation and just completely bypassing the entire scenario until after the wedding. You need to do whatever it takes to focus on you and YOUR day now - which will be special regardless of who is there or the reasons why anyone is not.
i am certain that whomever has the HONOUR of “taking over” these roles for your special day will be overjoyed to do so - and you will be glad for it in the future looking back on this. One option would be to make ALL members of your wedding party “honorary MOH and BM” and splitting the responsibilities between all of them to take some of the pressure off (?)

Regardless of how things turn out, know that it’s for the best.

I think it is better for you to have this come out now rather than after the wedding. Could you imagine having pics with her at your wedding either looking fake and happy or not trying to look happy and being miserable? As hard and frustrating as it is knowing her true colours....well you don't need that kind of friendship. I'm sorry this happened to you.

That really sucks! I can't believe that they decided to back out in a text, at midnight, when they knew you were sleeping!

I honestly wouldn't give them the time of day. Maybe once you calm down (I'd be angry too - my wedding date is a week after yours) I'd call saying that you're hurt by their decision to back out and that they are no longer welcome to attend as guests since they don't support you - for whatever reason. Don't waste your energy being angry at them, focus on your FH and the rest of your wedding party - that does support you!

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Oh no that's not good, but you still have a few weeks. As long as he keeps it on and doesn't damage it more, he should be good.

OMG my dad in coveralls... more like denim overalls and big rubber boots... I'm crying laughing at the picture in my head. Honestly I would not put it past him to do something like that because he knows how nervous I'll be that day. He's great at making me laugh, and we are doing first look photos before the ceremony so he'd have time to change.

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Well that would make quite the picture! lol Same for me, I'm just hoping that my Dad is out of his boot/cast... he broke his foot last weekend...

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Oh I feel you on that. I have a few people that were begging us to invite them to the wedding, but are now unsure if they can even make it. One even had the nerve to send the RSVP back stating MAYBE... grrr. I am not wasting my time and energy on maybes and people who can't support us. I am looking at it as the ones that truly support us will be there and that is all that matters. I will be happy just as long as my dad can walk me down the aisle and will not be wearing coveralls. HA HA The inside joke is he is going to show up in coveralls and rubber boots, no shirt... I'll die of laughter if he really does.

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True, I know that my example is not the same but:

For my wedding social I had started selling tickets back in December for a March Social - and my Aunt and Uncle bought them right away. Well a month before the Social they book a trip to the US and say they won't make the social. I'm just left thinking - "really??? is that really more important than my wedding social? You only have one in your life at most??" and "wonder if they will make time for my wedding or if they will book a trip for that weekend too...". Got to the point where I went a solid 2 weeks without even commenting on them not coming.

At this point I still plan on making a comment at my wedding if I get a chance to see them there.. Like a, "oh, I'm glad you made it - I thought for sure you would end up booking another trip haha *insert dagger eyes here*".

Plus I went out of my way to invite my Mom's friend that used to babysit me and my sister and now it turns out that her and her daughter who were "so excited" to see me get married and were to happy to have been invited - have better plans and now they "hope they can make the I do's".... They got tickets to Elton John.... Which I mean, I get it, he's ELTON JOHN, but it's my WEDDING. You don't know him but you do know me... It's a concert and I just don't see how it took priority...

I've also had some people just now RSVP and they want to come to my wedding and the RSVP deadline was July 5th.... over a month ago... So obviously I told them I would have to get back to them and see if I could fit them in as I already sent out a second wave of invites (I have room for them but it's my little way of making them feel bad.)

LSR - I get it, and honestly you just have to literally LAUGH at them. They are FOOLS! And you are going to have an AMAZING wedding!

View quoted message No true words can be said.. thank you

Its terrible to hear your friendship is over by a text and you didn't flip out the way you were going too in a bad mood. Taking a breather and just letting it go is the best and replying by saying Thank you for letting me know you both are stepping away from the party and the wedding. Acknowledge that part as a declination from her end. True colours do show from the people you know for so long.

It seems best that they left for the better and to have less worries towards any other stress level to arise in the time frame left towards your day. Contact the company for the dress and cancel hers if it can be done so before its made or purchased on your end. If its her end, her loss and can't recover anything from you of her expense.

I wish you the best of the day and that everything with the wedding party is smoother now with 2 less persons.

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Aww I am so sorry!! This is terrible and shouldn't happen. I wouldn't be giving her time of day or messaging her. If you do it might bring on more stress and pain, same time if want closer then call her up and tell her to stop acting like child when not necessary.

View quoted message My friendship with her is done, as I have already been receiving text messages from other friends saying she is trash talking me. My FH is pretty laid back and is trying to get a hold of a potential new BM

View quoted message Oh I was pissed, she sent the text around midnight knowing I was asleep. She also suggested replacements and that they still wanted to come to the wedding. The only response I could come up with was "whatever, I'm done". I know if I respond now it will be out of pure anger. They will ot be coming to the wedding at all. I talked to the BM, and he is not saying much as his wife makes all the decisions. Lol

View quoted message My sister is taking off after a lot of persuasion

Wow that is unreal that people will send something like that over a text. I would say call her and plan to meet up all 4 of you to discuss this and see where it goes.
If they don’t want to support you guys I would just ask them to not attend the wedding also.

I would call and ask to speak to her in person or over the phone more about it. how is your fh feeling about it? Does he just want to cut ties or you guys going to try and salvage the friendship?

Wow... I mean all of me would want to cut both of them out of your lives - but I know it's not that easy.

I assume that you will ask one of your BM and GM to fill in for the MOH and Best man?

I can't believe how they would do that.... I have me wedding the weekend before yours and I honestly would would uninvite them from even attending the wedding.

Just know that you truly will have those who support you by your side now And that this community is here for you

That is so underhanded. I think you need to talk in person. Or at the very least over the phone to get her side. Texting is awful for miscommunication. Is there anyone who can take over the positions?

Wow, that's awful, I'm so sorry. Hoping you can find a way to get some resolution to this. Just know that you still get to have a wonderful day and marry your FH! It won't matter if there are the same number of people on both sides, and at least this will maybe mean no drama on your day?

Hope you can find some stress relief to get through this.