Small or Medium wedding dilemma

130 isnt that many people but if they are important to you invite all of them. clearly you guys hesitated cuz you want those people there. plus dont forget not everyone will be able to come.

I am just like you. I don't like to be the center of attention and the thought of everyone staring at me as I walk down the aisle is sort of terrifying. I think, at the end of the day it is about you and your fiance and what you two want. Whether or not your family agrees. You can always use COVID as an 'excuse' to have a smaller guest list based on the uncertainty of the circumstances so that way people are not upset. In the current situation I think most people would understand and its probably a safer bet for you as well. Some people might simply opt not to come because of the risk. Who knows where we will even be next summer and it's better to be safe than sorry!

Small weddings are great, but keep in mind that not everyone that you are inviting will make it. My Husband and I wanted a smaller wedding, of just family. We didn't invite any of our friends (unless they were super closed and we considered them family anyways). We ended up inviting about 150 people, by the time my venue needed numbers we were down to 112, and only 100 showed up. So if you invite 80 and they all say yes then perfect theres your list! If you have some no's then you can open it up to the people that didn't make the first cut.

At the end of the day, it is up to you and FH to decide who you want to come and how many. Its super difficult to please everyone!

Big weddings are a part of my culture and a lot of friends in my social circle. Those that stuck to our guns of wanting only guests we personally know while still wanting to appease parents, did it in a way where the couple controlled the guest list of the main ceremony and reception with no add-ons for the family while any extras like distant relatives you've never met, relatives' distant friend, members of family's neighbourhood growing up, etc (essentially people family deem important but have ZERO context with the wedding couple) got a separate dinner at a restaurant that was paid for by the family. Basically, they want the dog and pony show, they pay for it, we just show up, wave hi and eat.

This move is much more effective at winning over family if you're not accepting any financial assistance from them.

Small weddings are awesome! Also, you're more likely to not be at the mercy of COVID with smaller numbers, even in 2021. You can't make everyone happy - but it sounds like a smaller wedding would make YOU happy (which is really the point of the whole thing).

We've rebooked our reception for next year, and I'm trying to discreetly trim the guest list so it's even smaller.

If it's your dream venue and you're happy with 80 people, go for it! Who knows what next year will bring with regards to COVID restrictions too. I've heard many people say limits won't increase past 50 or 100 until there's a vaccine.

This is both your day and the decision to make over anyone to say anything about it. You feel the smaller guest works to your benefit, go for it.

Your mother and other family members may have their say though they are paying for a portion of it, they may add the guests on their budget if they want them there present. Your budget is how you set it.

Venue wise, if the closer distance works, go for it as you don't have to go further for the other choice.

As our guest list started little over a 100, the min. was 75 guests to start. Eventually I made the call to reduce the guest list due to making it work towards the budget and cost of the venue.

I agree with everyone here. It is up to you and your fiance who is invited to your wedding and if you want a smaller wedding, that should be your decision. I went with a small wedding as well with it being my fiance's second marriage, and I never really wanted a big wedding. The best was that we originally planned a destination wedding which cut the guest list down automatically. Then when plans changed and we decided on local, the guest list stayed the same. I have a whole side of my family that is not being invited as I really only see them once a year at Christmas. We have kept it to immediate family and our closest friends which works out to 65 people. We are both pretty happy about it so I say do what is best for both of you. It is YOUR day.

My fiance and I have also gone with a smaller list we have about 70 people. We both didn't want a big wedding.

Both my mom and my future mother in law wanted more family to be there but we just told them that if we didn't really speak to them or haven't seen them in a very long time, that we shouldn't have to invite them.

I would't worry too much about peoples feelings. It's your wedding and not theirs! And who you want their is your decision!

I totally agree with Amelia. I can totally understand where you are coming from. Ultimately it is your day, but I know how hard it can be to make and enforce decisions especially about something like this. I would also stick with the smaller list - if your mom or other people are still worrying about the missing people, you can also tell them you are having a smaller list because this is the venue you truly want to have your wedding at, and their capacity is 80.

Thinking of you during these times!!