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Curious September 2019 Quebec

Small ceremony and big party!

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Joannie, on July 18, 2018 at 13:06

Hi everyone!
My fiancé and I have been talking about the kind of wedding we want for a while now and we are not sure what to do. We don’t have a lot of money and we don’t want to go in dept for our big day. We both have a big family and a big circle of friends. It’s really hard to pick who can come and who cannot but the more you guests you invite the more expensive it gets!

We were thinking about hosting a very small ceremony for our close circle and then throw a big open bar party for everyone else (after the dinner) This way, we could celebrate, spend more time with the people we really want to see at the wedding and save a lot of money. I tried to find some information on internet but it doesn’t look like it’s been done before. People usually throw an after wedding party weeks after the wedding, but I really want to celebrate on the same night.

Do you guys think it’s a good idea? How could I tell the guests that they are not invited to the ceremony and dinner?

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VIP November 2019 British Columbia
Alexandra · On July 18, 2018 at 13:14
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It’s actually an incredibly common thing in the UK that you have an evening party with more people. Honestly I would Just make sure to invite them for when the food is all going to be cleared and out the way and Just on the invite phrase it as “Celebrating the marriage” and if you get asked about it, just say you really wanted a small ceremony but there were so many people you wanted to celebrate with that you just had to have a big party after.
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British Columbia
Brittany · On July 18, 2018 at 13:13
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#1 red flag: if you're concerned about budget... a "big open bar party" is one of your most expensive options.
You can definitely do a smaller ceremony/dinner, and then throw a reception a bit later. Almost like have the ceremony/photos/dinner take place between 2-7pm (ish), and then invite your big group to a "Celebration" starting at 7.30pm - late.
Depending on your options for an open bar (bringing your own liquor, cost by the bottle, or cost by the drink), your budget could be anywhere from $3000 to $10,000 depending... For example, my venue has a "host price" if we were to do open bar, and I don't pay by the bottle, I'd be paying a slightly discounted price on every single drink... so about $600 per "round" for 100 guests... it adds up!
You can also may do a signature drink, or have a set budget on drink "tickets", and then have it be cash bar thereafter.
You can adjust/change/edit your day to however you want it, and whatever works for you. Yes, people talk about it being "tacky" to do cash bar, or rude not to be invited to the ceremony/dinner, but ultimately, you have to be happy with your choice, and your guests who come will do so because they want to celebrate with you on your big day!
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