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Monica
Devoted June 2019 Ontario

Significant Others

Monica, on October 14, 2018 at 08:33 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 14
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Hi all!

My wedding isn’t until next year in June and we’ve already chosen our bridal party. If our groomsmen happens to have a girlfriend in between this time, do we invite their girlfriends too?

Of course, if I haven’t met them, I definitely would not invite them. But hubby is already planning double date with one of his groomsmen and if I’ve only met the groomsmen girlfriend once, I don’t have to feel obligated to invite to the wedding as well, correct?

All of his groomsmen are single as of now (except one who just told us he has a new girlfriend as of yesterday...). I’m worried what if the other three have girlfriends in between the time of now and the wedding.. do I have to feel pressured to invite..?! I’m already trying to keep our guest list low.. it’s gone from 100 initially to about 180. What would you guys do!?

14 Comments

Latest activity by Sharlene, on November 2, 2018 at 13:14
  • Sharlene
    Expert August 2019 Alberta
    Sharlene ·
    • Dispute

    We are having a maximum of 88 guests. If the person will not know a lot of people we will giving them a plus one. If they are single and know a few others that will be attending the wedding they will not be getting a plus one. It is your wedding and you should be able to invite people who you are close to which doesn't include someone random stranger.

    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Devoted October 2018 Ontario
    Alexis ·
    • Dispute
    For plus ones and significant others we gave ourselves a rule of common law couples. That way, new flings were weeded out, as well as partners we hadn't met. We made a few tiny exceptions, but for the most part this kept costs down and gave us a valid excuse.
    • Reply
  • Monica
    Devoted June 2019 Ontario
    Monica ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    Thanks so much for your advice, Vinod! I was planning on doing as you’ve suggested.. bridal party would be sitting at the head table, so I’d struggle with having to seat their plus ones elsewhere who don’t know anyone at the wedding...
    • Reply
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    Inviting SO of the bridal party is your decision of your budget allows it. Personally, I find that more guests invited raise the cost of the meals and venue count.

    We had a very small wedding party and one of them were together which they were invited as friends and no one else received any. Serious relationships or not knowing the other half well enough gives you reason to doubt to put that plus 1 on the card.

    Plus consider when seating if your splitting all the wedding party up so their SO is sitting at one table as your party is with you at the head table. If so, then don't feel to include the plus 1 in that case. If choose to seat all the wedding party with SO at the table and go with a sweetheart table, your plus 1 can work out that way.

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  • Courtney
    Super July 2018 Ontario
    Courtney ·
    • Dispute

    I think you should give your bridal party, all plus ones - even if not in serious relationships.

    The RSVP deadline would be when they have to let you know who they are bringing and they can't change it after that.


    Your bridal party is there for you, and hopefully being helpful - it's definteily the polite thing to let them bring a partner. That being said, if you're having a crazy small wedding, I would come up with a rule such as 'no partners less than X months'

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  • Rachael
    Super October 2019 Ontario
    Rachael ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Jennifer; your bridal party will (hopefully) be helping a lot so allowing them to invite a plus one would be a nice gesture. (Especially if someone in your bridal party is not a part of your usual friend group).

    In terms of your regular guests, I feel you aren't obligated to allow them to bring a plus one if they're not in a serious, long-term relationship. (Again, if someone isn't familiar with your family or friends though, allowing them to bring a plus one is a nice gesture as they may feel awkward otherwise).

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  • Jennifer
    Super July 2019 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute

    All wedding party should get a plus 1 regardless of relationship status. and let them make the decision if they want to bring someone. your wedding party will be doing so much for you over the next year and they are your good friends. its a nice gesture to them.

    I've been a bridesmaid 12 times. and every wedding has always given me a plus one. and I've always been thankful for that. because after bridesmaid duties it was nice to have someone to dance with/talk to etc

    • Reply
  • A
    Devoted October 2019 Ontario
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Stephanie on this one. I think the singles in the wedding party should be able to bring a plus one, or at least have the option.

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Expert April 2019 Alberta
    Michelle ·
    • Dispute

    ALL our groomsmen and bridesmaids will be getting an optional plus one-regardless of relationship status. It is just a nice gesture as a thank you, and they may not necessarily take you up on it if they are single at the time of the wedding.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    VIP May 2019 Ontario
    Stephanie ·
    • Dispute
    I'm going against what ever one else is saying! Personally for me I have some in our bridal party who are single, some in long term relationships and some in new! Since theyve agreed to join us in these special roles on our day and are buying and expensive outfit, joining for all the bachelorettes, bridal showers, etc. The least I feel like I can do is allow them a plus one regardless of who or how long theyve been together! They are our best friends who will be with us through the whole thing so I think they all deserve a plus one!!! I wouldnt ever consider allowing one and not another because they aren't with someone for a specific amount of time... but that's just my opinion!
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Devoted February 2020 Ontario
    Emily ·
    • Dispute
    I think that as long as you are consistent with your rules then you shouldn’t have any issues. If you require them to be together for six months, then any new partners wouldn’t ‘qualify’ to be invited. It does get really tricky... I have some people on the invite this that don’t know anyone else at the wedding, so I’m letting them bring a guest so they have someone to talk to.
    • Reply
  • Monica
    Devoted June 2019 Ontario
    Monica ·
    • Dispute
    Thanks for the advice, ladies!
    • Reply
  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
    • Dispute

    I agree with Alexandra, if they've been together for 6 months by the time invitations come out, I would invite them.

    The majority of our wedding party are in serious relationships. We have 7 in total and 4 are in serious relationships (married/engaged/living together) and 3 are single. If the 3 singles are in relationships for about 6 months by the time our invites go out, we plan to invite the SO as well. If the relationship has been shorter we won't invite initially, but we'll add them to the B-list so if we get enough no RVSP's, we'll invite the SO's by that time.

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  • Alexandra
    VIP November 2019 British Columbia
    Alexandra ·
    • Dispute
    It depends on how long they’ve been together by the time the wedding rolls around. If they all get girlfriends and they’ve been together for 6 months before you send the invites out then yeah you should probably invite them, regardless of how many times you’ve met them. Anything less than that, don’t worry about it.
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