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Alexis
Devoted July 2021 Ontario

Significant other invite rules

Alexis, on February 28, 2021 at 20:26 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 12
I’m curious what everyone’s thoughts are on this. Times are definitely different. Would it be offensive to only include one?


We have some good friends who just invited my so to their wedding in person and me on zoom. (He will press the song for walking down the aisle which he can do but someone else could too)
We’ve been planning our wedding with everyone’s SO’s included. Is this not a rule anymore? I feel like you either invite both or neither..

12 Comments

Latest activity by Autumn, on March 4, 2021 at 09:23
  • Autumn
    Beginner May 2021 Ontario
    Autumn ·
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    I like this rule! However one of my groomsmen starting dating someone after we sent out save the dates and got engaged before we sent out invites... keeping in mind covid restrictions.. I have no idea what to do.
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    Back when there were no restrictions on gatherings, we were doing something similar. Our rule was we would not invite a partner if we have never met them with the exception of them being married (and it's very unlikely that we have not met the married partner of someone we're close with).

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  • Abigail
    Curious May 2022 British Columbia
    Abigail ·
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    We are doing SO's only if we are friends with BOTH parties. I'm inviting my friends to be part of my day but not their partners who I've only met like 3 times

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  • C
    Beginner April 2021 Manitoba
    Carol ·
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    Agreed, with COVID etiquette is out the window on invitations. We are having a wedding in April and with approved numbers being so low for weddings we removed significant others from the guest list. People have been very understanding so far.
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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    You can have the rule to not invite the guests other half if you haven't met them or heard of them being in a serious relationship. Trust your instincts to invite those you want present with exceptions you will make for some if you know personally and met. I did have a cousin who was in a serious relationship though she was invited alone and would have had her half come knowing he is my SILs cousin.
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  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
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    Thank you! It’s so nice to hear opinions on this. I wasn’t sure what what was reasonable
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  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
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    Awe that’s is so hard to postpone Smiley sad but also... Dancing!!!! That will be so nice to dance at your wedding
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  • Alexis
    Devoted July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
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    That makes sense! Thank you I should probably relax my mental rules a bit lol
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  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
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    Right now our guest list is only 54 people but if we have to cut it down, we will be cutting out some significant others. Our rule will be if we wouldn't actually hang out with both of them they both won't be invited. Example: My one good friend has been in a relationship for a few years but I rarely ever spend time with her BF, so he would get cut from our guest list.
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  • Amanda
    Newbie July 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    I made a rule - the "main person" had to be dating the same SO for at least a year prior to the invite to get a plus one. If they were single when we announced our date, they would not get a plus one. This worked well with one exception (one of my bridesmaids), but I think I can talk her out of bringing a friend as a date.

    I also asked my Mum about what would be appropriate regarding my cousins. I have many, but we're not close. I wanted to invite them to my bridal shower, but they weren't on the wedding guest list. Mum said it would be fine to invite them, and that they were all pretty understanding about guest limits given pandemic. Now that we've postponed to '22 (SIGH), I can invite them to all wedding functions.

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  • C
    Super December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
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    Agreed. Pre-covid the only reason we would not have invited a SO would be because it was a new relationship but having to cut our list to 50 shot many rules out the window. We made a really tough call to not invite a groosman's girlfriend. We've met her only twice (only once before invites went out) and they completely understood and had planned to talk to us about it before we brought it up (so they say). We would have loved to cut a few husband's/longterm SOs whom we don't know well but that we did feel wasn't right even during covid times (although we think they would have understood).
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  • Alison
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Alison ·
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    In non-Covid times I think it’s generally either both or neither (unless you’ve just started dating). But if it’s a Covid wedding, I personally think anything goes. I wouldn’t be offended if I was invited without my significant other (or him without me). It’s likely that if it were a normal wedding we’d both be invited. But couples are really having to minimize their guest lists and there’s enough stress around that as it is, so I really think the typical invite etiquette has gone out the window for 2020 and 2021 weddings.
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