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Newbie October 2023 Georgia

Siblings in Wedding Party

Taylor, on January 18, 2022 at 11:56 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 13
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Hi all! I need some advice.


I have one sister & my FH has a sister and brother. My sister will NOT be in my wedding party as she chose to help be my wedding planner. My FH has said he has thought about asking his brother to be his best man. As for his sister, I did not plan on having her as a bridesmaid (we are not close, I feel as though she really doesn’t care too much about me & she lives on the other side of the country). My FMIL has said that the sister might get upset that she isn’t apart of it.
What should I do? Should we just remove the brother from the bridal party and just have our close friends in the party (but allow siblings to still attend events like Bach party) or should I suck it up and have her apart of it? I would rather not have her & my FH has said that he doesn’t mind having her/not having her in the wedding.

13 Comments

Latest activity by Ashley, on January 27, 2022 at 12:50
  • Ashley
    Newbie October 2022 Ontario
    Ashley ·
    • Dispute

    You need to set your boundaries with your FMIL now. Your wedding, your choice. I can only imagine what she will be like once you are married.

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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    You have the full control of whom you wish to be part of the wedding party despite of who says what or how. Since your sister agreed to not be part of it, its great she's being your planner and working towards your vision. FH can have his brother as his BM (Best Man) since they are close and his sister not to close to you can be a witness if anything to sign.

    • Reply
  • G
    Beginner October 2022 Ontario
    Giuseppina ·
    • Dispute

    Honestly, this is your wedding and you need to do what works best for you and your future husband. When it comes to family, it can become really difficult when it comes to weddings, and making decisions. Although, at the end of the day you always have to remember this is your wedding.

    • Reply
  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
    • Dispute
    Hello Taylor,
    At the end of the day, you are family. Maybe this will help bring you ladies closer? You can ask her if she would like to be a bridesmaid and see where it would go from there.
    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    Do you feel that if she was part of your wedding party it would bring you closer? If not, I wouldn't bother. If she already has the expense of traveling to the wedding she may not really even want the extra expenses that come with being in the bridal party.
    • Reply
  • T
    Newbie October 2023 Georgia
    Taylor ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    I have thought about this too!! I personally don’t want her on my side being that we aren’t close (we only talk if we’re with his family) and I feel like we don’t have the best relationship
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Curious June 2023 Ontario
    Katie ·
    • Dispute
    My fiance is having his sister on his side as a grooms-women. I know it’s not traditional but it’s an option.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda Online ·
    • Dispute
    It is your wedding day and your intitled to have whoever you want standing up for you as a bridesmaid or MOH. If you don't want her standing up as a bridesmaid then you don't have to. I'm only have my best friend stand up for me and my fiance is having his brother stand up for him. Im not asking my sister in law to be a bridesmaid. Just remember it's YOUR WEDDING DAY!
    • Reply
  • T
    Newbie October 2023 Georgia
    Taylor ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    I had planned on just paying for hair & makeup if the girls are getting their makeup done by the artist (some of my girls are really good!)
    Fiancé doesn’t really care either way. He said if I don’t want her, then she doesn’t have to be.
    • Reply
  • Jacquie
    Frequent user August 2022 Alberta
    Jacquie Online ·
    • Dispute

    Are you paying for anything for your bridesmaids? Like hair/makeup/dress ect? If so, can you afford the expense of an extra bridesmaid? If not, don't include her.

    Does your Fiancé want to include her in the bridal party? I wouldn't only consider it if this was important to him. Your FMIL doesn't get a say on your bridal party.

    • Reply
  • Malyssa
    Featured October 2022 Alberta
    Malyssa Online ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message

    100%

    I think if you are worried about what MIL thinks, maybe just let her know your reasoning for not wanting to include her. She may be more understanding than you think.

    • Reply
  • T
    Newbie October 2023 Georgia
    Taylor ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    I feel the same way! That it’s my wedding, I can have who I want in the party. She is just not local & like I mentioned, feel as though she doesn’t like me all too much. Why would I have someone like that in my party? I just don’t want to upset my FMIL
    • Reply
  • Malyssa
    Featured October 2022 Alberta
    Malyssa Online ·
    • Dispute

    I know this is said probably **** times but - this is YOUR wedding! If you do not want her in your party, you do not have to have her. Your FH can have his brother. Do not let other dictate who should be in your party. Feel free to still include her in other wedding stuff (if she can be there) like bach/showers/ect.

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