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Newbie October 2019 Ontario

shower venue help

Michelle, on August 14, 2018 at 12:02 Posted in Before the wedding 0 5
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Hello,

ive had some shower drama to say the least. I wanted something low key, my family member was planning an at home bridal shower high tea themed. Seemed perfect to me.

My my mother in law to be asked what my plan was for the shower and I told her someone was planning it.

An at home shower is not acceptable in the Italian culture apparently, I loved the idea of a high tea theme but I did not want to deal with the arguments.

So now I need a venue that can accommodate 120 people for a high tea shower that also has a full plated 3 course meal.

HELP ME !! Any ideas on how I can make this happen ?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Clarissa, on August 14, 2018 at 16:40
  • Clarissa
    Expert October 2018 Saskatchewan
    Clarissa ·
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    I am with the others that this is not your problem. Let her know your family member has one planned at home and if she she wants to coordinate with your side to host a combined shower here is their contact info. If she would rather host her own let you know the date and time and where to be (and if she asks for input or help just tell her it’s her party to host so whatever she wants to plan will be fine with you).
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  • Jessie
    Expert September 2018 Ontario
    Jessie ·
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    Yeah this is definitely not on you as the bride. Sometimes showers are even a surprise for the bride so you should not be held responsible for planning and finding a venue. It's possible they don't know that so maybe you could nicely put it in a way that you aren't suppose to do anything for it. It's a celebration for you and you should just get to enjoy it. Smiley smile Maybe ask you MOH to talk to them or even plan it.

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  • Brittany
    British Columbia
    Brittany ·
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    I agree with Stephanie! My mom has literally threatened to cancel my shower if I get involved haha... it's not our job to worry about it, or plan it.

    If you FMIL wants something different, put her in contact with your bridesmaids. They need to discuss, plan, brainstorm and arrange everything. You need to be told when and where to show up! That's it. YOU DO NOT PLAN YOUR OWN SHOWER. You should definitely not be stressed out or worrying about anything to do with it.

    I know it's hard. Trust me, those threats from my mom were real, because I wanted to help plan/be a part of it so badly... but the shower is FOR us, not BY us.

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    So, this is kind of a pet peeve of mine: the shower is NOT the responsibility of the bride! If your FMIL wants to throw you a large shower, that's great, but she should be finding the location and planning everything. You are planning a wedding, you have enough on your plate.

    Is there any way you could have two showers? The at-home high tea and then the Italian family could also throw one?

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  • Bianca
    Master August 2019 Ontario
    Bianca ·
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    Hey Michelle, I'm sorry to hear about all that drama. I know most Italians mother and MIL's can be difficult (I've got an Italian mother), but that's ridiculous about "can't have a shower at home". I wish you could meet people from within the culture who are not like that (my shower is being done at a very low-key location).

    Where in Ontario are you located? This information might help people give better suggestions as to where you could hold your shower.

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