Shower and money stress

Thank you so much for the support.. Letting things out on here really does make me feel much better.. My fiance and I had a huge rant out yesterday.. I didn't realize she felt the exact same way as me which is nice.. she is pretty good at rising above so if she is even bothered then that helps make my feelings justified. We are moving forward. It is what it is, it's in 2 days and there's no turning back.. it's going to be an awesome day and we are going to stuff ourselves with pancakes and champagne and this stress will just be a memory. We are both hurt and disappointed by other people but it's not going to interfere with the big picture.

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That's what I'm hoping for.. What's done is done, I'm sure it will be a great day, just need to move forward now.

Usually the bride doesn’t have to pay for her shower. I am having two because the one my MOH threw for me was too far for most of the family to travel so my grandma is throwing me my second one on Saturday. Try your best to enjoy it, it will be over before you know it and then it will be (hopefully) a great memory instead of a stressful one

View quoted message That's what we keep telling each other. we will have a blast on Sunday for sure.. it will all be worth it.

The shower is one thing I'd hope avoid but my mom was dead set on throwing one for me. If she or someone else wasn't going to throw one, I'd definitely wouldn't do it.

Try and stay positive though, you'll get to see some people who won't be able to come to the wedding and hopefully have fun! The money part sucks but try not to focus too much on that leading up to Sunday.

Sunday* not Saturday, can you tell I’m just itching for the weekend 😂😂

Ahhh I’m so sorry you feel this way!

My mentality at this point (and a lot of people will likely disagree with me or have other opinions) but you only get married once! My FH and I don’t want to regret not doing something because of cost. I know you didn’t want a shower but it’s happening so just focus on having fun!

youre having your bridal shower and you should have a great time! At the end of the day, make the best of it. All the bridal showers I’ve been too have been so fun. It’s great to get people together and celebrate your love.

Wishing you all the best this Saturday!

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It will be a fun day so it won't all be for nothing.. just kinda sad that we got left paying for so much of it... the numbers add up so fast.

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That's exactly it.... oh well. it will be a fun day and we get to celebrate with everyone so I have no regrets.. it's just disappointing and the money adds up fast.

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One of them knows most of the cost. the others might not, but they still know they haven't paid for anything. If it were me I would have asked who had paid for the venue and food and everything, but I guess I can't expect people to do that. It will be a fun day so I'm trying not to dwell on everything I guess the cost just kinda caught up with me now and it's frustrating since we were talked into a shower in the first place.

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Thanks.. that was my thought exactly. The day will be so fun so it's not a total loss, just kind of sad. We should have stuck to our guns like that too and not done anything.

I am so sorry that you are feeling this way. A shower is supposed to be put on by someone else than the couple getting married.
My step mom planned a shower for just my side of the family and a small guest list. I haven’t done anything. My in laws keep asking about the shower and I just keep saying there is one planned and if someone really wants to plan one from that side they can. But I will not be the one planning it.

we are paying for the wedding that’s enough!

So sorry to hear you did not get the support you both deserved on this! I would be upset if I got stuck paying for my shower in addition to the wedding. I know you said you don't like to ask for help but have you mentioned the $$ to the bridesmaid that have been contributing at all? Just how you feel and how much the bill has been. Maybe they are just not aware and would like to contribute.

When I was MoH for my best friend, her other bridesmaids were here two sisters and another girlfriend. They did not want to financially contribute to the showers or the bachelorette at all, so I covered the cost. I was happy to do so because I wanted to the bride to have amazing parties. However, two of her other girlfriends who were invited offered up some money to help the cost, and I declined at first stating that wasn't fair to them if no one else was contributing but they told me I was being silly and they wanted to help so that was that. Anyway my point is that maybe the 2 bridesmaids would want to contribute even if the other 2 are not?

As others have said, stay focused on the good things and that in the end you are marrying the love of your life!

It just bums me out to hear this - the shower is supposed to be planned by the mother's and the bridesmaids so I know I would be in the same way of feeling if I ended up getting the bill when I don't even want a wedding shower that much (we have lived together for almost a year now so we have most if not everything we need...)

Like the others said - try and just move past it and look forward to the actual shower and festivities ahead!! It'll be fun, and if not fun - you will at least get presents!

Typically a shower is thrown for you by someone so you aren't out any money for it.

I'm sorry that you have so much stress, and I feel you. Planning and paying for a wedding is stressful enough but when you're also having pre wedding parties too then it can feel overwhelming. I know that I personally get stressed out about planning and paying for our wedding plus our jack and jill.

Just try to stay positive and focus on your guests who will be coming to celebrate with you on Sunday.

We didn't do an engagement party either.

We have been together awhile, own a house and have a child, so the wedding was kinda expected, lol.

I am sorry that you are going through this.

Hold onto that original excitement and try not to be sad.