Okay so this is a long story but I will try to make it as clear as possible.
My fiance (N) and I about 3 years ago moved in with our friends T+Z (who had been dating the same length of time as us and we were all best friends). The first year of living together went well, we had also become good friends with N's brother and his girlfriend E+A. We would all hang out, go to dinner and play video games, etc. and were all good friends. I should mention that T+Z got engaged and set a date May 2019 before we had all moved out (same with N and I, set for Aug. 2019) and we all talked about being in each other's wedding parties, etc.
After about a 1.5 years living together we all started getting fed up with each other, mine and T's relationship really suffered but I realized what a horrible friend I had been and apologized (approx. 3 months before we moved out to our own separate places) T told me that she wasn't sure if we could fix our friendship and that we would see how things go. After we moved out to our own places, we tried to contact T+Z a few times to hang out and would be met with an "oh we're busy, sorry" or some other excuse of working, but I could see on snapchat and their facebook that T+Z were hanging out with E+A without us. That really hurt because I was trying everything I could to repair our friendship (I told her I would do whatever it took and eventually I stopped contacting her because she obviously wanted some space). I did reach out to her to ask her if she was purposely avoiding us (as we had seen them hanging out with E+A constantly).
So then about a month after we moved out I got a text from T, she told me that she didn't feel like we were close anymore and that I would no longer be in her wedding party. I responded by saying that was 100% her decision but wanted to know if she still wanted to work on our friendship. I said that I definitely wanted to but got a response along the lines of we both are growing and she needed time to grow, etc. and that her decision was final (this was April 2018) (she never really answered the question to repairing our friendship).
I went into a complete depression, I was so upset and cried for weeks, my cats and N were the only things that made me happy (we had been best friends for at least 3 or 4 years by this point). What was worse was that E+A and T+Z continually hung out and were best friends still (remember E is N's brother) During this time Z still wanted N to be in his wedding party but due to T's treatment of me he never responded (T ended up texting N and saying that it was hurting Z's feelings that N wouldn't respond to his messages... talk about being a hypocrite).
Fast forward a few months (E+A broke up and so did their friend group, both were still friends with T+Z) to Jan. 2019 after no contact at all, N and I did our engagement photos and after I had posted them on my facebook I got a text from T. She wanted to get together and talk, I (being slightly immature) ignored her and did not respond, she texted me again the next day and we decided to go for dinner T, N and myself.
We went to dinner, she talked about struggling with some mental illness and eating disorder but that she has been seeing a therapist regarding these issues and wanted to reach out she apologized and it felt like we were putting what had happened behind us. Even with how hurt I felt, it was like nothing had happened to our friendship. She wanted to hang out and after that we hung out maybe 3 times over the next few months leading up to March. In March Z's mom passed away and N, E and I attended the funeral and I overheard a mutual friend as they were leaving say, "see you at the wedding". Deep down I know I shouldn't have been expecting to receive an invitation but I had thought that her reconnecting meant she would still want us there.
So May passed and we (obviously did not receive an invitation to their wedding) I was very upset and hurt again (E was a groomsmen and A ended up being a bridesmaid.. awkward) although still not super surprised. A few weeks after their wedding I get a text from T saying "hey, we need to get together soon!" and I (being immature again) ignored it for a couple of days and then T messaged again asking when I was free. I basically responded with an I know it was your wedding, so invite whoever you want and I hope you and Z are happy but I don't know what to say and that N and I were both hurt about not being invited. T then apologized and said that she didn't mean to hurt us, that her RSVPs were all already in by the time she reached out (like 4 months before the actual wedding) and that they had a limit of 100 and it would have been very costly to go over (which I understand).
Now for the dilemma, we had sent them a save the date (back in Feb. 2019) however we are not sure given the circumstances, if we should still invite them to our wedding as N and I still care about them. I cannot decide if it is worth it to try and salvage our friendship. My question is would you invite them or no?
Congrats if you made it through the whole story haha
