Shorter guest list- inviting wedding party so

View quoted message I am sure they would understand as they know it’s a tough situation to be in. We are also having 2 weddings now the first is our immediate family and best man and maid of honour and then we will have a big party with everyone later on

Honestly, it is your day, and things have changed due to COVID- I would just tell them, due to space/number limitations unfortunately f=your SO is not invited. We would love to have them there, but COVID has forced us to change our plans, and shrink the guest list...

In September, depending on the amount of ppl allowed we have compiled a small guest list and no SO's will be invited (we are still having a wedding in 2021, where they will be invited). I am hoping that due to the unique situation with the virus everyone will be understanding to limitations!

It is hard! What I’m doing is not giving plus 1’s to people who’s SO I’d rather not be there/don’t have a SO (even bridesmaids)! Some say it’s rude but It’s your day! If that doesn’t work and they suggest that they are bringing someone I’ll have a convo on how I only want people being there who have been apart of the process (which is why you invited the other SO) if that makes sense

What a tough decision. I think the best route to go is to talk with your bridesmaids. Also, if your wedding is somewhere private, maybe you could have the SO's and the two extra people attend, but just ensure social distancing is maintained.

View quoted message We originally planned for about 80-90 and right now we don’t know how many we could invite. Right now social gatherings is only 5 people but come July we don’t know how many they will allow

I personally just would talk to them and tell them how you feel. be like its really special to you guys and since your family cant come you dont want people you dont really hang out with. how many people did you have originally planned for your wedding? how many are you gonna have now?

Considering you're likely cutting over 85% of your guest list down to just 10 people for reasons beyond your control, I would like to think your bridesmaids would be understanding enough on your decision to only include the closest people in your life.

I would discuss it with them and explain the situation, but go in with the expectation that they are coming just in case so you aren’t scrambling to further cut your guest list.

Hey! Also getting married July 25 here! The only SO of the wedding party who will be invited to ours are the ones that are family. Everyone else who we don't even really know to begin with completely understands that due to covid we have to be selective with who we can invite.

I would speak to the bridesmaids and see how they feel. Mention that you're having trouble trimming the guest list down to meet the regulations on gathering sizes.


I would also consider just inviting the extra two people if regulations allow. If those two people would let you avoid a potentially awkward conversation and make your bridesmaids happy it's probably worth it. 27 isn't that far off from 25 after all.

View quoted message Nice! If you think they’d be okay with it - that’s really the important piece

View quoted message Our original guest list was about 75-80 people but with restrictions ( current limit on gathering is 5 people). Both bridesmaids are pretty outgoing I think they would be ok without having their SO there and I do think they would understand if we did ask that they come alone.


The two I would invite in place I have none for a while. One I’ve known since before meeting my foams (and before I met one of the bridesmaids) and is good friends with both my fiancée and I know. The other one has been a good friend for awhile and considers me her little sister and would be making our wedding cake

View quoted message We could wait a little until we decide, so far right now restrictions are 5 people and word is they may be changing it to 10 people so we really have to wait and see about the whole guest list

Hmm.. this is tough. Under ordinary circumstances it’s obviously good form to invite couples as units (you don’t want to disrespect their relationship while simultaneously asking them to celebrate yours and all that). It sounds like you’re well aware of this. But I think covid gathering restrictions are a huge game changer in terms of guest list etiquette. Personally I think I’d still go for a “blanket policy” (ie all wedding party SOs or none), but I take your point about not wanting to devote valuable spots to people you don’t really know. Some things to think about:

- How big is your wedding? Are you scaling it down to 100 guests? 50? 20? If it’s going to be a really close knit affair your case for cutting these 2 SOs is much stronger. Frankly it may even be a little awkward for them to attend such an intimate event when they aren’t close to the couple. The justification is much thinner if you’re cutting it to 100 people or something along those lines.
- Do these two BMs know a large portion of your guest list, such that they’ll still have a good time? If there’s even a possibility they’ll feel stranded / lack people to talk to, I’d try to squeeze in their SOs. Participating in a wedding party is usually expensive and time consuming. They deserve to have fun at the wedding.- have you pitched the idea to the affected BMs? Are they cool with it or do you think they would be? - who are the two individuals you’d be cutting them for? Very close friend or family member = stronger case. Your BMs may be less understanding if it’s a more distant family member, co-worker, casual friend, etc.
Anyway that’s my take - good luck! It’s a sticky situation for sure.

We are in a similar situation where we’re having a small ceremony in August now (still doing the big wedding next year though). Ideally for our small ceremony I’d like to have immediate family and our wedding party. We’ve talked about significant others too. Some of the significant others we are closer to than others though. For example, one of my bridesmaids has recently started dating someone new who I haven’t met yet (she lives out of town). And while I’m really excited to meet him, it feels super weird for me to have essentially a stranger at my intimate ceremony, when a lot of my close friends and family won’t be able to be there. So I think we’re leaning more towards just bridal party cause I feel bad picking and choosing. But that’s just me! And that being said, it’s your day and you’re already having to make lots of sacrifices likely, so I think people will be a lot more understanding! Is it possible to wait a bit before fully deciding to see what the restrictions are going to be at that time in terms of how many people you can have? Maybe that would help your decision?

I do find as a general rule to invite those your are close to family and friends. The people you keep in touch with most should be considered. Guests your not well surrounded by shouldn't be invited since its your day of celebration. Wedding party will have to understand your view and accept or they choose to not come because of their significant other by choice.

Looking back to our guest list, I would have taken a few of my husbands co workers out from the actual wedding and reception to invite to the after party (after knowing from here since married to do so). Some of them weren't exactly the greatest friends I would say they are, though they were his co workers (sad to say) at the time.