Service as wedding gift

View quoted message I should say that I am more than happy to pay his full fee. They are a family very much like ours where finances are handled very precociously as there really is never any extra. A part of me feels like saying this would be their gift is taking a weight off their shoulders. But the other part feels rude and assuming lol.

Say i would love for you to play at my ceremony, is there a friend discount for the cost? then let him decide if he wants to do it for free or what price he would give you

I would just tell him you would love for him to play and ask what he would charge for that. let him offer it to be the gift if he chooses, I wouldn't ask him to do it as a gift though.

Your friend doing this as a wedding gift is a blessing to you two for your day. A nice gift for thanking him would be nice or dining for 2 gift certificate to appreciate his thoughtfulness. Your gesture is in the right place to do as his to you.

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Yup! I agree with this - even if he comes back saying that it will be their gift I would give them "a tip" for doing such a big thing like playing for your ceremony.

If he's not offering I wouldn't assume it to be his wedding gift.

If you want him to play at your wedding I would look into hiring him and paying for his services.

Tell him you love his services, and ask what his rate is, because you are considering hiring him. If he tells you his rate and doesn't offer his services for free, then you can decide if you want to hire him. Or he may offer on the spot that he would love to do it at a different, lower rate. But definitely don't suggest to him that he make it a gift. And even if he does, I would still recommend giving him some sort of monetary gift. Pay your friends y'all!

I wouldn’t ask their services as a gift as you are making an assumption that they will be giving a gift, as you mentioned. As others mentioned, the cost of a ceremony musician is greater than what a typical wedding gift is so it’s potentially a big ask to ask for them to give those services for free.


I would tell them that you appreciate their talent and want to inquire about booking them. Ask what they normally charge and offer/be prepared to pay that much. If they offer to do the services for cheaper then that’s a plus, but I advise being willing to pay full price like they’re a normal vendor.

View quoted message And that's what I'm going back and forth with. Honestly, he would probably do it for free. But I dont want to assume. His whole band played at a friends social which is like a wedding fundraiser and they only charged $500.

I think I would maybe ask him for suggestions for other ceremony musicians. Tell him you really admire his talent and want someone similar. I would want my friend to be there as a friend and not have any other responsibility at my wedding. I also just don't believe that friendship should ever have a business component to it.
If you really want only him I definitely would suggest you pay him. Ceremony musicians can run $300-400+, so that would be a very generous gift!

I have a friend that's a great photographer, so I asked him if he'd be willing to do a boudoir photo shoot for FH's wedding gift from me. He said he'd be more than willing to make that his gift to both of us as long as I pay for a rental space if that's what I choose to do instead of at home or wherever. So bring the subject up with your friend and he may just offer to do it on his own. If not then ask him how he feels about doing it and if he has any conditions. You never know til you ask! And he may be honored to do it! I've asked a couple friends if they'd be willing to do certain wedding tasks and all of them have been more than happy to be apart of it!