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Newbie September 2021 Ontario

Sept wedding - venue denied request to postpone

Samantha, on April 28, 2020 at 10:05 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 20
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I see a lot of comments about brides hopeful that their Fall weddings will still take place, but are there any others frustrated with venues that will not permit them to postpone yet?


Has anyone had more support from their venues with regards to moving Fall dates, or is everyone else also being told to wait until June to find out if they will be permitted to do so without penalty? I'm trying really hard to be understanding of their side of things, but it's really hard to do when I feel like I'm being strong-armed into one of the most important -and expensive- days of my life.


I know it's mostly my fault for choosing a venue that doesn't allow for date changes, and I wish I had added more weight to that part of the contract when we were looking around.
With COVID restrictions preventing us from planning, we don't want to get married this year. We're worried about the safety of our family/friends, and many of them are currently under financial stress, so traveling and booking hotel rooms is a lot for some of them. My groom, Maid of Honour and one of my bridesmaids are also going to be unavailable for most of the summer, as COVID resulted in delays starting new jobs and moving.
Currently the venue will not let us change the date without forfeiting our $4000 deposit, claiming that "everything will be fine by then", as if skipping the bachelor/ette and wedding shower, then also only having a few weeks to order bridesmaid dresses and suits without my fiance and half my bridal party isn't going to be a huge letdown.
I feel backed into a corner here, and I'm both frustrated and anxious. When I read in our contract that "cancellations are non-refundable, non-transferable, under any circumstances", I did not realize that they equated postponing to canceling, nor did I think they would use that to justify holding us to it during a global pandemic.
I feel so frustrated, all I can do is wait and see what they say in June, which is leaving me with a lot of time to think about this. Anyone else in the same boat? Am I being selfish and/or unreasonable?

20 Comments

Latest activity by Geraldine, on May 5, 2020 at 20:43
  • Geraldine
    Beginner September 2020 Ontario
    Geraldine ·
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    Hi Samantha,


    Our wedding date was originally June 20th. We were able to postpone but our venue was only accommodating us to postpone this year and not giving us dates in 2021 at this time 🙄. So our new tentative wedding date is Sept 20th. At this point, we just want to make it official. We have been together for 6 years, been living together for 4 years and have a 3 year old son.. My fiancé and I discussed a Plan B IF restrictions aren’t lifted by July and if our venue will still allow us to move forward with our wedding. Plan B: Just have our immediate family and close friends witness our ceremony and have dinner at our reception (our contract has a minimum of 15,000 spend so we will try to keep it within that amount for our reception).IF our venue will allow us to postpone to 2021 if restrictions are not lifted by July, then we thought of a Plan C. Plan C: Just have immediate family at our ceremony and dinner at a restaurant(if it’s open? Or just have them come over to our place for dinner), postpone reception to next year, maybe late summer or fall? Hopefully get pregnant and make it a reception/baby shower event (LOL! Just dreaming 🤭).
    Anyways, that’s the plan! Just monitoring the news and playing it out right now and see what happens.... I haven’t read the thread so I’m not sure if you already wrote this but what are your plans?
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  • Ashley
    VIP August 2020 Ontario
    Ashley ·
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    I think venues have been going month by month basis. i dont think theyre at sept yet. i know theres been mention of a vaccine going to human trials so i feel like we should we ok very soon

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  • Chi-Chi
    Beginner August 2021 Ontario
    Chi-Chi ·
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    That’s horrible! I totally understand not wanting to have a wedding even if things get better end of summer/Fall. I want to enjoy the experience too! We decided yesterday to move our wedding from October 3 to April 24, 2021. Our venue (Walper Hotel) has been amazing. The have a “yes” policy. If you need to post pone you can without fees and 2020 pricing locked in. I get sad when I hear venues not speaking with Fall couples. When I emailed the venue, they apologized for not contacting us first! They are helping every couple that wants to move things around, no matter the season of the wedding. Luckily moving things was easy because all of our vendors were available on the new dates we wanted and happily moved bookings without charging us. My vendors said other couples were reaching out to them and if we waited another week or two to decide it would’ve been harder. Everything is so stressful right now, my work is really busy and I know I wouldn’t be able to deal with waking up everyday for the next couple of months not knowing what will happen or how to move forward. Better to be safe, than extremely sad and stressed later.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I'm sending good vibes to you and your friend! My fingers and toes are crossed hoping we come out of COVID sooner rather than later.

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  • J
    Frequent user October 2020 Ontario
    Jess ·
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    I'm the odd one out with you! My best friend is hoping for her July 24 wedding, and I am hoping for my October 2! The stress sucks, the not being able to plan sucks, but postponing would suck even more for us, so we're crossing our fingers! Thinking of you guysSmiley smile

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  • Kelly
    Beginner October 2021 Ontario
    Kelly ·
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    This is so disheartening to read because our venues are owned by the same company...I'm getting married at the Elora Mill. They've been pushing back about the idea of postponing (our date in October 9th) and pretty much said they won't discuss options with us if we decide to postpone until mid-July (we want to make the final call by end of May at the latest). They said "we'll know more about travel restrictions and closures by then". We're essentially worried for all the exact reasons OP has cited in this post and her other comment. On the bright side, there's nothing in our contract about rescheduling penalties, which could work in our favour if we need to fight them on it

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  • A
    Frequent user August 2020 Ontario
    Anna ·
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    I am going to PM you! For sure.

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  • M
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Monika ·
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    Also,

    What are you doing about your invites then? Have you sent them out?

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  • M
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Monika ·
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    Hey Anna, I just saw you are getting married at Whistle Bear. Me too!

    I am supposed to have my wedding on September 12.

    Can we keep each other in the loop when you finally have a decision from Whistle Bear? I assume you will hear from them before me. But if I do hear from them earlier for some reason, I can let you know right away too.

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  • A
    Frequent user August 2020 Ontario
    Anna ·
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    Our venue is operating in the same way. Won't deal with us until June for our August wedding. I've heard they may even push out the decision making until 1 month beforehand. I keep reading about these brides getting backup dates held and I'm just amazed that that's even an option. I did choose a really popular venue (if yours is in Waterloo Region maybe we are referencing the same place?) and I guess that's part of the problem.. but they also have an amazing reputation so I *assumed* they would be incredible at handling this.

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  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    I will reassure you that your not the only one to be in this sticky situation. I did read about another couple that had to pay $25K just to postpone because of the venue charge and penalty. This owner has about 7 locations venues & hotels.
    Taking in what has been said and written on the contract, waiting until June 1 to see what the venue says about changing the date may be viable if they don't change their rates/prices. Your guests are safe for now at home and can arrange to change their travel plans once notified by you about the date change for the wedding.
    Some venues are not coping with couples given the situation right now and sticking to their contract while some others are being considerate to change the date without charging more.
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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    Don't beat yourself up, absolutely no one could have prepared for this to happen or have put loopholes in the contract to accommodate a pandemic keeping us all home for months.


    Have you tried calling or emailing the venue and explaining your feelings? There is a chance they might bend a bit, and if they don't you can at least rest knowing you tried. You aren't "cancelling" so that might help a bit.
    If you do end up losing the deposit can you trim the budget anywhere to make up for some of it? Maybe turn an open bar into a toonie bar?
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    Well what works for some, doesn't for others - that's just how it goes. Wishing you all the best for your special day - whenever it happens!

    Will your venue allow you to do the "soft hold" whereby you can "hold" a second date? I would maybe ask to see if this is an option. There's no disadvantage for you or for your venue in doing this.

    It's too bad they aren't working with you more!

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  • M
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Monika ·
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    I have my days. I watched a show the other day and cried at the wedding scene lol. I am being hopeful but realistic. I am hoping we can still have a wedding but am realizing it might not happen. I have made my to-do list of what needs to get done ASAP in case we find out our wedding is happening for sure (things are on standby...do I order my guest book? my signage? jewellery? etc).

    I have no advice...I am in a different mood about it daily lol.

    Sorry you are going through with it too Smiley sad

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  • K
    Devoted August 2021 Nova Scotia
    Kl ·
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    Hey! My circumstances are a little different as my venue allowed me to postpone my late-August wedding back in March. I definitely count myself lucky that they aren’t enforcing a rigid “wait and see” policy. I just wanted to chime in with some support and say that you’re absolutely not being selfish nor are you being unreasonable!! Your frustration is totally justified. And don’t beat yourself up for deciding to hold your wedding there regardless of their strict cancelation policy. Nobody could have predicted this, and it’s fair to expect that they would relax their policy under these crazy circumstances. Anyway I’m sorry you have to suffer through this terrible waiting game for another month. I hope they smarten up soon!
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  • Alison
    Frequent user August 2022 Ontario
    Alison ·
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    I’m sorry this is happening to you 😞. It’s hard enough to make the decision to postpone in the first place. Then having finally come to that conclusion and being told you might not be able to would just be salt in the wound. Our wedding was supposed to be August 29th this year and luckily our venue was more understanding and allowed us to postpone to next year. Hopefully your venue will come around for you!
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  • S
    Newbie September 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    How are you keeping yourself from worrying about it? I get nauseous from the anxiety whenever I think about it, and I'm trying to stay positive and keep things in perspective.


    It's oddly comforting to know I'm not the only one feeling this way, but I'm sorry that you're going through this ❤
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  • S
    Newbie September 2021 Ontario
    Samantha ·
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    We don't want our wedding to happen this year; even if it is a "go" by Aug/Sept; we haven't been able to enjoy anything leading up to it, and the COVID vaccine won't be ready yet.


    Given how much money, time and effort goes in to planning a wedding, we really want to wait until we're in the clear and not worried about the second COVID wave that is predicted for the Fall. I'm not comfortable asking our elderly relatives to travel here, and having my wedding while my grandmother stays home alone would crush me.
    If couples want to wait it out and hope for the best, I completely understand that. But for those of us that are asking to be moved because we're anxious and not willing to get married this year anymore, I'm sad that the venues aren't being more understanding.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I may be the odd one out here - I'm hoping my July 18 wedding goes ahead, we aren't postponing. Right now what our venue is allowing people to do is put a "soft hold" (basically you can tentatively hold a secondary date for free) another date, if they want. The tricky thing is, if someone else also wants to hold that date, whoever pays a deposit gets the date and you give up your original date.

    I think venues are also hoping weddings in the summer/fall get to go ahead. It's almost like our honeymoon where we can't cancel yet because there are no travel restrictions for July.

    It sucks and I know the stress everyone on WW with an upcoming wedding is under but I really think August/September weddings will be a go. In Ontario yesterday, Doug Ford made a comment that cottagers will be able to go up to their cottages in August (so I think that's when he expects to be "open") - so I fully expect weddings in August and September to go ahead.

    June and July are tricky but I'm still holding out hope! We're all in this together.

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  • M
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Monika ·
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    I am in the same boat Smiley sad

    September 12 over here and our venue won't "deal" with us yet either. We wanted to play it smart and just postpone until next year for the same reasons as you (we are not comfortable "forcing" 250 guests to come here in September, book their hotel rooms, etc). We thought we could snag a good 2021 date but they won't even give us available dates. Yet, they are still booking couples who are getting engaged right now for 2021. I get why they need to do this but it is frustrating knowing April-June couples are getting postponement dates, newly engaged couples are getting their 2021 dates, and then us August-October couples are probably going to be left with no dates Smiley sad

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