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Lauren
Curious July 2021 Ontario

Sending out Save the Dates - What Method is Best?

Lauren, on June 14, 2019 at 22:20 Posted in Before the wedding 0 8
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Hi there,
Looking for some advice for the save the dates. We have purchased a website via Wix. We'd like to use it to streamline our save the dates.

I used our site to send out engagement party invites. We didn't want everyone to have a plus one, but using their site we only have the option to give everyone a plus one, or nobody. So obviously for our save the dates we have to give the option to everyone.


So I'm just trying to work out the implications of this. If someone includes a plus one in their RSVP who we do not intend to give a plus one, is it okay to kind of just take it as a suggestion? So when we send out the real invites (they will be mailed, not done online), is it okay to not include a plus one for some guests even though they RSVP'D for one? I'm hope I'm making sense here.

And then one follow up question. For instances when you are friends with both people in a couple, who do you send the invites to? If we send to both and they both RSVP with a plus one, suddenly they will have RSVP'D for 4 people rather than 2. But if we send it to just one of them, the other friend may feel upset or less important, as if they weren't actually invited since they're only on the list as a plus one.

Hoping to get some advice on both of these situations! How did you send out your invites? What worked best?

Looking forward to seeing what you all think!

8 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on June 17, 2019 at 11:45
  • Vinod
    Top August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    The choice of sending out Save The Date is up to the couple. As for the plus 1s, I wouldn't put anything to indicate whos invited on yet as the invitation will follow after with the information of it included. The only thing to let the guest know is that the invitation is to follow.

    With all said, the elder couples (grandparents, etc.) would be better to read the card instead on the safer side as technology is not the same for them as us.

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  • T
    Curious September 2020 Quebec
    Tanya ·
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    Hey babe! I’m not familiar with wix to send save the dates. I’m going to use Paperless Post which has 100% free options.

    I would say RSVP/+1 is not important for save the dates. The purpose of a save the date is to inform guests that you are getting married on X day at X location. If you want to hint, you can address the save the dates to every person at that address who you think you’ll invite. My rule is 1 invite per address. In cases where it’s a boyfriend and you don’t know if he’ll be around in 10 months for example, just don’t address him... when you send you wedding invites, then decide if you invite him or not!
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  • Tori
    Top October 2019 Manitoba
    Tori ·
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    I would say to not give anybody a plus one on the save the date evites. Just send it to the people who are invited (if there are couples then send an evite to both or even just one and they would assume they are both invited). It's nicer to give than to take plus ones.

    For who to send the invite to when it's a couple - I just addressed the invitation to both (John & Jane Doe or John Doe & Jane Smith). If they don't live together, we gave it to the person we knew the longest. If we met them at the same time then we gave it to the male instead of the female. We only had one same sex invite and one of them was my FH's cousin so we addressed it to him and his husband.

    If you have a different situation, maybe you could share and we could try and help out?

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  • Stephanie
    Master July 2018 Alberta
    Stephanie ·
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    No RSVP is needed for the save the dates. I think don’t add a plus one for the Save the Dates.
    If there is no plus one, send it to both people of the couple.

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  • Allison
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Allison ·
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    I think the save the dates won't matter if they have plus-one on them.

    In the case of being friends with both people in the couple, if they live separately, I would just send an invite to one of their houses with both names on the envelope. If you hang out often, let them know this is what you're doing, but that they are both important to you. Most couples will probably be fine that only one of them got the invite, but both names are included.

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  • Casey
    Master October 2019 Ontario
    Casey ·
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    I really don’t think it would matter for save the dates. They are not the formal invitation just letting people to keep the date in mind!
    When you send your invites out you want to be really specific as to who is getting a plus one and who is not so there is no confusion.
    As for couples not living together, you would still assume both are coming together, so just send the invite to one house with both their names and they will end up letting their partner know they received the invite
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  • Erin
    Super May 2022 Ontario
    Erin ·
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    I think in your save the date question do not give the option of a plus one to anyone especially if it is not your intention. It's much easier to include a plus one in the mailed invite then to take one away. For sending out invites to couples, it should be implied (even for the couple) that they would bring their SO as their date. Do these couples live at separate addresses? If so just tell one of them that the invite was sent to their partner.
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  • Kelsie
    Master July 2021 Ontario
    Kelsie ·
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    I don’t think your save the dates will matter. You’re just asking people to keep the date available.

    when it comes time to send your invites (and I assume this is through your website?) maybe you can send them without plus ones (or with plus ones depending on how many “without plus ones” you have).

    for me, I’m mailing everything - I address the save the date to one person/husband/wife, etc. and same thing with the invite so it’ll say Mr. K. Smith or Mr K. Smith & Guest or if I.know both, it’ll be Mr. and Mrs. K. Smith. That might be a good way to address your invites as well so people get the hint. Not sure if you can do this on your site as I’m not familiar with online invite systems.

    I hope this makes sense!
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