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Alyssa
Curious April 2021 Manitoba

Second guessing my dress

Alyssa, on April 13, 2021 at 16:36 Posted in Wedding fashion 0 9
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My fiancé and I decided to cancel our July wedding due to Covid and we will secretly elope in 2 weeks. We have only told our parents and sisters to avoid people giving their opinion. We are super excited. Instead of getting married in a park, we rented a cabin and will stay and have a mini moon for a few nights. I just picked up my dress from the seamstress and I am having major second thoughts. I only bought my dress 8 months ago. I am wondering if other brides have experienced this? Could it be the change of venue that is making me feel this way? Could it be that my wedding is only 12 days away now?
When I bought my dress, I had to go back to the door about 3-4 times because I am so indecisive. Remembering this, I’m starting to wonder if that was just because I don’t love the dress and now because nobody will be there to make any judgements I am realizing the sort of dress I would really want to wear - which is very different.
Or, could this just be a case of the jitters and I am just starting to pick at things.... I don’t know!!! Please help Smiley sadHere is a picture of the dress I purchased:Second guessing my dress 1
Second guessing my dress 2
Second guessing my dress 3
Now here is the dress I wish I had....Second guessing my dress 4
Second guessing my dress 5
Second guessing my dress 6

9 Comments

Latest activity by Katerina, on May 3, 2021 at 11:03
  • Katerina
    Beginner August 2021 Ontario
    Katerina ·
    • Dispute

    Your dress is beautiful! That said, it's your day and you should do what fits for you. I'm curious as to why you chose your dress in the first place? What about it spoke to you at the time? Maybe connecting with that may help. The other dress is a very different style so I wonder if it is (as someone else commented) a matter of making a better fit for the wedding you are having. In any case, I don't think there is a wrong answer here Smiley smile

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  • Jennifer
    Frequent user August 2021 Ontario
    Jennifer ·
    • Dispute
    I think everyone here has given very sound advice! I also just got my dress back from alterations and feel a little less in love with it. I had to take some time to figure out what bothers me. 1. I have gained some weight so it’s a bit of a confidence issue and 2. When I tried it on recently I wasn’t wearing a bra and I think it didn’t look right without more undergarment support. I have 4 months until our wedding so I’m going to work on my fitness goals for a while.


    I think your gut feeling about changing the vibes and venue is significant. I personally would just go for the dress you really have your heart set on. You’ve made a lot of compromises and it would be nice to feel completely comfortable in your dress for the elopement. You can always sell your old dress or keep it as a backup!
    • Reply
  • Alexis
    Featured July 2021 Ontario
    Alexis ·
    • Dispute
    Your dress is beautiful ♥️
    • Reply
  • Amelia
    Featured October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
    • Dispute
    I felt the same way when we decided to change our wedding to an outdoor beach ceremony. The thing that convinced me to not get a simpler dress was the photos. I still wanted traditional wedding photos, and I didn't want them to look like fancy engagement photos. I can't speak for you and what you want, but I spent time focusing on what I originally wanted and what parts of that we could keep even with the changes we had to make. I found that really helped me love my dress all over again!
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  • Emma
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Emma ·
    • Dispute
    I have been feeling the exact same way about my dress and that it doesn't suit the low-key vibe we are going for. I think it's extremely common. Both dresses are beautiful but at 12 days out I wouldn't be surprised if it were nerves. I hope you come to love your dress or find an alternative that makes you feel beautiful on your big day.
    • Reply
  • Fabiola
    Beginner August 2021 Ontario
    Fabiola ·
    • Dispute
    Congratulations!! I bought a dress that I didn’t LOVE and brought it back. Trust your instincts. I think you should LOVE your dress and go with what makes you happy. 💕
    • Reply
  • Kim
    Frequent user June 2022 British Columbia
    Kim ·
    • Dispute

    I think that the pre-marriage jitters might be getting you on this one and you may be thinking about all the details. Also, I agree that since you changed the whole concept of your wedding you may be thinking about changing your dress along with it.

    That being said, I think your original dress is beautiful!

    PS, I love that you guys are going and eloping! We're doing the same thing in 5 weeks today, and it's so hard to keep the secret! I wish you luck Smiley smile

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  • Christiana
    Featured November 2020 British Columbia
    Christiana ·
    • Dispute

    It sounds like because you're having a more low key wedding you wish your dress matched that vibe. I think that's totally understandable. But with only 12 days left before your wedding you don't have a lot of options and sticking with your current dress is likely your best option.

    The dress you have is beautiful and since you're getting married at a cabin I would try to make sure the backdrop of your ceremony has natural elements to it. For example if you get married with trees or water as your background any dress will go with the setting because nature is never going to go out of style and it doesn't have a formality level if that makes sense.

    I would also consider keeping the rest of your look and all accessories more casual to get a bit closer to your new inspiration pictures. Keep your hair down and not too styled, wear simple jewellery, keep your makeup really subtle. Or do the opposite and maybe go with a bold lip or eye to give you more of an edgy look and downplay the classic wedding look. Basically try to keep the rest of your look less "bridal" since your dress is very classic looking and that doesn't seem to be what you want anymore.

    Alternatively if you're somehow able to get your hands on a new dress that you like more and your budget allows for it then I think it's worth trying - especially if you can return it if it doesn't work out.

    • Reply
  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    It seems common for a lot of members here to have "dress regret" but I feel that goes with any major purchase, especially in the wedding industry where you're constantly conditioned to think you can get better this, snazzier that, etc. Even I get "oooh, wish I could have this suit instead of the one I bought" moments but it doesn't make me hate my suit. I would try not to think about it. Or try to wrap your head around the logistics of it to make you feel better. Even without a pandemic, it's tough to get a dress in 12 days.

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