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Newbie September 2022 Ontario

Save The Dates and Invitations for Out of Country Guests?

Angela, on July 5, 2021 at 18:39 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 5
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My fiancé and I are getting married in September of 2022. We are getting married here in Canada, however, my fiancé is originally from Australia and his entire family lives there.

Assuming the borders are opened by then, his parents and siblings will be coming to Canada, but his parents feel like most, if not all, of his extended family (~60 people or so) will likely not make the trip. It's a long and expensive commute, so we definitely understand! No hard feelings there! But we feel like we should still send symbolic invitations, as these family members would have been invited to a local Australian wedding.

I was planning to send Save the Dates to our Aussie guests about 12 months in advance, so that they have plenty of time to plan, book flights, etc, if they do decide to come. But my fiancé wants to send full formal invitations 12 months out instead. His reasoning is that we're basically planning our wedding and budget around the idea that these 60 or so guests aren't going to be attending. But if several did decide to come, we will need to make some adjustments to our plans/budget, and it would be better to know much sooner.

I definitely understand his concern (and it has now become a concern of mine! lol), but I know it's not proper etiquette to send formal invitations out so far in advance. Is there something we could include maybe on our Save the Dates to get a better gauge on interest in attending?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on July 19, 2021 at 19:43
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute
    Save the Date does make sense to send out earlier for the family to make arrangements as you mentioned and consider attending the wedding borders open of course. The actual invitations should be sent later as they will be formal as he wants it to be for them to receive. I didn't consider Save the Date since the invitations are always sent out one time. My cousin had sent out Save the Date knowing the date beforehand.
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  • A
    Newbie September 2022 Ontario
    Angela ·
    • Dispute

    Thank you all so much for the advice! You've made some really good points. I think we're going to stick with Save the Dates at the ~12 month mark, followed by formal invitations later on. We don't even know the exact time of our ceremony yet, so it REALLY doesn't make sense to send invitations. I just need to convince my fiancé Smiley smile

    Fingers crossed that postponements won't need to happen anymore!

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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
    • Dispute

    When invitations are sent out, there is an expectation that you are readily able to fully answer any inquiry that guests need in order to decide if they should/could attend or not. This includes the exact timing of the events, the meal options, the dress code, etc. Unless you have this info ready at the 12 month mark, Save the Dates would be better.

    And personally, I would budget as if all the Australians are attending so there are no surprises (except the pleasant one where you save a ton of money when most of them don't attend). Like you said, they might decide to take you up on the invite. People have not been able to travel so they might use the wedding as an excuse to visit Canada when they otherwise wouldn't.

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  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
    • Dispute
    Hello Angela,
    My fiancé & I did not send out Save the dates but invitations instead.

    I guess it’s understandable that he’s thinking that way to send out the actual invitations. I would probably think if you think plans will change again soon. I would say sending Save the Date would be the best way then the invites.
    I really hope that you and your fiancé will not have to postpone again and have the fantastic wedding in August 2022.
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  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
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    I personally wouldn't send out your actual invitations that early. Save The Dates would do justice a year out so that people know that they're being invited to your wedding and know the date and in what city you're having your wedding in. Just nothing too pacific goes onto the Save The Dates. Since you do have people coming from out of country, you can sent out your actual invites 5 months before hand if you wish. That's a pretty good time frame for your guests to answer and confirm

    My fiance and I did that for our August 2020 wedding. We sent out our save the dates in August 2019 so a year before hand so that all of our guests knew that we're getting married in a different province and it'll be a somewhat of a destination wedding and that they can start looking at ways to get there either by plain or driving. As well as looking at accommodations and such since our entire guest list and my fiance and I are traveling to our wedding city

    We've since have had to postpone twice because of covid but we're feeling optimistic about August 2022

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