Save the Date- Regrets

View quoted message Exactly what I was going to say!

I understand your concern. It's never fun to feel like you've made a mistake, especially when it comes to something as important as your wedding. That's a valid concern, especially if you know that they're already gossipy and critical. When re-sending out invitations, I would just skip them and say we are cutting back on the guest list. No offense.

At the end of the day, it is your wedding and it isn't worth being miserable. You can always mention that there had to be reductions done to the guest list. If they get upset over it, that's their problem.

It’s your wedding and if you feel that someone is going to be disrespectful or take away from your day. It’s up to you to let that person know ahead of time so that they don’t cause more problems on the day of. You could say that you had to reduce the guest list and some changes have been made and sadly she can no longer attend. If she has been saying something about your wedding and you feel that they’re not wishing you the best you don’t want that kinda vibe at your wedding.


Good luck I hope all goes well. ♥️

One of my colleagues (who back bites everyone) was talking to me about how the wedding planning is going. I gave a few hints about issues with capacity etc and she said 'you can't uninvite people!! thats so bad!! you can't do that!!'

Now I feel totally hopeless. I don't know what to do but I just feel so depressed about this all.

I am sorry to hear you are going through this, wedding planning is hard enough. Personally, I would wait it out, who's to say they will even be working there next year. If the time comes and they are then just say you had to scale back AND remind the ones you want to go to book the day off as soon as possible

View quoted message

Would it be okay to do this? I was told it would be rude to send Save the Date and then no invites.

I am so stressed out about this that I'm losing sleep over this.

I think you can just not send those people an invitation and if they ask about your wedding, you can just say you had to scale back on the guest list and had to make some difficult cuts. Since your wedding is next year and you won't be sending out invites any time soon, you can even start making subtle hints to these people at work and say, "oh gosh I sent out way more save the dates than the venue has capacity! I hope I won't have to make too many cuts on the guest list."

Its your wedding and you shouldn't have anyone there that you don't want to be there!

Thank you for responding.

4 individuals out of 14 I wish I didn't send it to.

They always ask me what's going on with the wedding etc, to which I try to avoid the question but its got very tiring.

I'm unsure whether to tell them we have issues with capacity, only invite for the reception (which I also don't feel great about) or wait until closer to time and see who is able to get the time off work,hoping the 4 wont?

Thank you ladies for making me feel a little better. I've been really struggling with this and it's constantly been on my mind.

I agree with K1327. How many are we talking? I would not feel bad at all, but I would let them know before you send out your invites. If they are the type to talk behind your back, they will do it regardless of you invite them or don't. It's your day do what causes you less stress and what is going to make you happy on your big day.

So sorry you felt any sort of pressure to invite these people, this should never be the case however we are human and it sounds like you were coming from a good place in that you felt bad. However one thing people around me and this community kept repeating was not to feel bad and it is a day about you and partner and what you both wish!

That being said....I would probably in the meantime, do very little to no wedding talk with these people whom you wish to uninvite and come time to send the invitations I would skip out sending to them and at that time let them know, plans have changed and you have had to revise your numbers, that's all. It's not a completely unheard of reason (thanks Covid!), and you do not have to further explain anything. The alternative is having them there because you felt bad for uninviting which I would not recommend; the day is too important

Good luck! Curious to know how others would handle this situation or if they have ever come across it.