Melissa
Beginner August 2022 Ontario

Save Dates

Melissa, on October 15, 2020 at 18:56 Posted in Plan a wedding 1 11
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Hello all!
My fiancé and I are booked to get married August 28, 2021! While we are so excited we are finding it very tricky to plan with COVID going on. We are planning for around 140 people but have no idea what things will look like closer to that day. We are wanting to send out save the dates to people so they will keep the date available. But we also don’t want to send out something to all our guests and then have to tell people they’re actually not invited if there are still restrictions. Really conflicted and could use some advice!!!!

11 Comments

Latest activity by First, on October 19, 2020 at 21:03
  • First
    Curious August 2021 Ontario
    First ·
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    I’m getting married Aug 28 too 🥰.


    I got engaged last November and am a huge planner so I booked everything and then Covid hit and 🤷🏻‍♀️.
    I sent my save the dates to family a year ahead of time (still too many people for restrictions). I’m telling myself that it’ll all be just fineeeee by next year, so I’m proceeding like there isn’t a pandemic happening (I know, I know).
    Our plan is to postpone if we can’t have everyone we want there or can’t dance or basically have any restriction that would put a damper on our plans, so I figure I might as well double down and then worst case scenario send a change the date to everyone close to the date.
    We’re going to send invites May 2021 and hope all is good by August.
    Good luck with your planning! 🤍
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  • Amelia
    Master October 2020 New Brunswick
    Amelia ·
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    If you send out all 140 I would put some kind of disclaimer reminding people that you may have to reduce the guest list. I would personally send save the dates to only the people who you know you cannot get married without, and just call/text/email others to let them know the date and say you hope covid restrictions will allow them to attend.
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  • Natalie
    Curious September 2021 Ontario
    Natalie ·
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    I would wait until closer to the date, maybe March. It'll give your guests 5+ months to plan. Also, it'll give you a better idea on social gathering restrictions, if there are any.

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  • Jarrod
    Curious March 2022 Ontario
    Jarrod ·
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    Congratulations on booking your date! My fiancee and I have ours booked for the day before, August 27!


    I think part of the answer to this comes down to what you plan to do if restrictions are still in place. For us, we have a huge guest list of 250 people, and if restrictions are still in place, we'll be moving the date. Talk to your venue and see if this is something available! For us, having all of these people there is more important than getting it done right then. We sent out save the dates as soon as we booked the venue a few months ago! We added everyone who has Facebook into a private group, and use it as a more convenient way to provide updates than via email.
    Personally, I would say go ahead and send them. These are unprecedented times, and people are going to understand if circumstances come to dates changing or needing to alter guest lists. I would rather explain that later, than have a bunch of my friends already be booked for something else that day.
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  • Bethany
    Curious May 2021 Nova Scotia
    Bethany ·
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    I posted this on a similar discussion a couple weeks ago, it may help:

    Our guest list is at about 115 right now, but we have big questions marks with our guest list. Because all my extended family live out West, with current restrictions they would have to come, self isolate for 14 days before seeing any of us and coming to the wedding. This makes judging numbers tricky.

    Because I feel like a lot of our guest list may be hesitant to come or not be able to, we have added the following message on the back of our save the dates:

    "We are so excited to share our special day with you! However, we know that Covid-19 has affected all of us to varying degrees. If for whatever reason you are unable to attend our wedding, please know that we understand, and love you all the same!"

    In my head, this gives people the "out" or "permission" to say no without feeling guilty, which may help keep our numbers down too. It also opens up a conversation where you may be able to get some soft yes's/no's before even sending your RSVPS.


    I will be posting a photo of my save the dates when they arrive later this week as well. I feel like most people are staying current on the state of the world/restrictions right now, so as long as you keep people up to date and in the loop as they need to be it should be fine. You could also leave a link to your wedding website if you're making one, and have a tab for updates where you can direct people to as well?
    Good luck!
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  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
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    Save the Date was skipped for us for the reason of not needing it. The actual invitation was sent out 9 months prior though it was way too early of time. Although my cousin did do the Save the Date. Emails or direct messaging social media wise would work for them to know first hand and keep it free.

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  • Michelle
    Frequent user June 2023 British Columbia
    Michelle ·
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    I was already on the fence about save the dates, so my personal thoughts are to skip the save the dates right now. The guest amount also plays a big role, as others have mentioned.

    If the wedding is local, you could wait it out until February and see what happens, and decide then.

    OR you could put on the STD that if may be virtual too? This literally just popped in my mind so I haven’t put much thought into it lol but I do feel like there is a way to say on the save the dates that it could be an invitation for virtual only. I just can seem to think of how that wording would be. This would allow you send the STD and give wiggle room if restrictions are still in place next year.....it does sound a bit tricky but maybe someone else can play on that idea and make it work 😆

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  • Julia
    Newbie August 2021 Ontario
    Julia ·
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    We’re also getting married in August 2021! We did a digital (emailed) Save-the-Date and sent it to only the most important absolutely-must-be-there guests. Being digital, we can send it to more people anytime. And when it’s time to send the actual invitations, we’ll hopefully have a better idea of how many people we can invite. Hope this helps or inspires you : )
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  • Hank
    Featured September 2021 Ontario
    Hank ·
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    140 is tough. Even during this summer when things opened to Stage 3, only a max of 100 was allowed if it's outdoors. If you want to be cautious and not uninvite people because of covid, I suggest splitting your list - start with the immediate 10 that must be in attendance and then all guests after in 20 people increments that you can add should things allow.

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  • Mais
    Frequent user September 2020 Ontario
    Mais ·
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    Uninviting* sorry for the typo
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  • Mais
    Frequent user September 2020 Ontario
    Mais ·
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    I would just verbally tell your close family and friends of your date and send the invites about 2-3 months before your date! It is very tricky and I wouldn’t want to be put in a situation of uni biting guests. But again I am sure they will understand. We had a wedding of 50 outdoors and didn’t send the invites will a month before our date which was September 12 but everyone was so understanding
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