Rude to leave on honeymoon right away?

Before getting married I may have had a different response but from experience after the wedding you are exhausted. You will not want a ton of people around for a while after. Take the time for you and your future spouse to relax and recover.

KELLY, I think it's awesome that you have plans to get away. We're far from doing that. Don't let your Mom get into you getting away and having a beautiful Honeymoon, it's your Special moment go have fun and always be safe. Don't add people you don't want too your mom may think she's doing whats best for you, but only you and your future husband gets to decide who, you like on your Registry not your mom. She won't be living with you making decisions for you.

My wedding is also on a Friday and this isn't something that my fiancé and I considered.

The only guests who will be coming in from "out of town" are my fiancé's brother (along with his wife and 1-2 children), his grandmother and one of my childhood friends. I imagine both his brother (and his family) and grandmother will come down before the wedding to spend time with my fiancé's family so this shouldn't be an issue. I sincerely doubt any of them would come from out of the country and/or province if they didn't intend to stay/visit beyond the wedding as it's not cheap to do so.

Majority of people (or so I'd think) expect the bride/groom to embark on their honeymoon following the wedding (unless stated otherwise) so for your mom to guilt you is ridiculous. Like you said, you can't anticipate their plans and they may not want to decide on their plans this early. If they want to spend time with you, it's their responsibility to coordinate that with you. You have a wedding to coordinate and don't need additional stress.

I'm literally doing the same thing. My wedding is on a Friday, my out of town guests are either coming Thursday or the day of (my wedding doesn't start till 3pm).
We are doing a gift opening and lunch on Saturday with limited family/friends, and leaving early morning on Sunday for a month for our honeymoon.
Your out of town family/friends will not be upset that you aren't sticking around to visit them - if anything they would fully understand and encourage you to go!
My mom likes to put a guilt trip on me for not sticking around, I just remind her that she did the exact same thing as what i'm going to.... She then goes quiet haha.

I think that's perfectly acceptable! We had a lot of out of town guests. Most of them left Sunday anyway. Our wedding was a Saturday. Most people arrived on Thursday, some on Friday. They came to the wedding Saturday. And most left on Sunday. And these are people that flew in from another province. We invited them to a brunch Sunday morning. Most of them left from there to go to the airport. I also know of a few couples who left from their reception to start their honeymoon.

I'm so sorry that your mom is being annoying! Just stick with your guns: there are no "rules" for weddings, just traditions!

Hi Kelly I don't think it is rude at all to leave the Sunday following your wedding, especially when yours is friday (Most of your out of town guests will be leaving the Sunday - do to work etc) another option to make your mom happy and include your out of town guests would include a late breakfast or lunch gathering the following day - this gives you a chance to visit with your out of town guests following the wedding and still allows you the afternoon to do the last minute packing for your honeymoon the Sunday!

I don't think it's rude at all. I'm actually sad we aren't leaving right away for ours.. that's one of my favourite traditions.

If your wedding is the Friday then that leaves Saturday as a buffer day to spend with your guests before leaving on a honeymoon.
Mae have guests coming in from other provinces for our Saturday wedding and we are leaving to go on our “minimoon” the Sunday afternoon.
make your plans, enjoy them, don’t let anyone dampen your mood about it. Your guests are well aware that they are coming to see you be married and will surely understand that you are leaving to go honeymoon like a normal married couple would

I haven't replied to anybody's messages, but I've read them all and THANK YOU all for reassuring me!

I would advise your out of town guests that you are leaving for your honeymoon immediately after the wedding; that way, it's up to them to finalize their travel plans.

Some of our out of town guests are staying a week after, because we made it clear we won't have time to visit beforehand (rehearsal, nails, waxing appointment, dropping off our décor/wine etc to our DoC, flower arrangements, sneaking my spouse gift to his bestman.... we're also attending another wedding the day before ours).

With respect to your mom, it's hard. I wanted my mom to feel included with my wedding plans, but she felt if I don't do things her way, I've done things wrong and I'll regret it. I had to make it clear to my mom that it's my choice, and I'd like to do it my way, to limit my regrets. How can a registry be wrong? (My mom doesn't like mine either.) It's been hard, but I've finally managed to let go of her opinions and focus on what my fiancé and I want. It's your day, you need to be happy with it. How do you want to look back on this and remember it in a few years? I lost the guest battle with my mom - and some of the guests she was adamant that wouldn't come, now are, and we had to give up some of our friends for theirs. I would say invite those you really want to come, who will make a difference for you if they are present. If you have room for more, then you can invite some of the people your mom would like, if you're okay with it. Remember to breathe

If I was from Way out of town and wanted to spend time with you, I'd arrive early. I'd then make it point to offer to help you out whilst visiting. I would not want to hang out with you after you just got married, because I'd expect you to be GONE!! GO, have fun and start your marriage off on the right foot, You deserve to be happy. Also, your mom can entertain the out of towners.

Isn't it tradition to leave for your honeymoon immediately after the wedding anyway? I'd say you do you, ultimately your mother has no say in your honeymoon plans. That is for you and your fiancé to decide. I think leaving on the Sunday is absolutely fine. If out of town guests want to visit with you they can do it before your wedding by coming early, or on the Saturday before you leave.

This wedding is for you and your fiancé, not your mother. Unless she is paying, you get to decide who comes to your wedding and who doesn't. Sometimes you have to share less of your plans with people and just do your own thing. I'm a big fan of setting boundaries, especially when starting your marriage, because it sets the tone for the rest of your relationship.

Omg Kelly, I totally feel the same way as you.. our wedding is also on a Friday and we initially planned to leave on Saturday for 2 weeks. But my mom was shocked we wanted to leave so soon and was quite concerned about our out of town guests as well. We have a few relatives coming in from half way across the globe, so I see where she’s coming from. We decided to change our honeymoon to depart on Sunday instead. My cousin will only be staying for 2 weeks, so unfortunately he will have left the country by the time we come back from our honeymoon. But the other relatives will stay longer.

My mom was still not too impressed but happier that it wasn’t the day after. She initially was asking us to go on our honeymoon a week after the wedding, but there’s no way I was going to wait that long to get away! Plus we would’ve had to take an additional week off work. So now we’ve compromised... we’ll leave on Sunday. And spend time with our relatives who will be here for an extended time, after we come back from vacation!

Leave when you want to, even if it's the very next day. I think most people go on honeymoon either the day or second day after the wedding, you're definitely not early at all. And I think any out-of-town guests would assume you would be leaving right away?

Ah... moms. You should just go on your honeymoon and let your mom entertain the out-of-town guests. My FMIL has bamboozled us into going up to their beach house for the 5 days between our wedding and honeymoon to entertain their out-of-town family. I honestly don’t think I can do it lol.

It sounds like with added guests your mom has already had her hand in a lot of things! I think leaving Sunday is tons of time! If you're all conscious maybe do a brunch the Saturday morning after the wedding with those who are still around? My parents when they got married they actually left their own reception EARLY to go sleep cause they left for their honeymoon the next morning hahah!! Even if you tell your guests you're leaving right away for the honeymoon I can guarantee you none would complain! Most people expect that!

You’re not being rude! We’re getting married on a Saturday and leaving Tuesday. Your friend from the UK, you can also offer for her to “tag along” for some of your honeymoon if she’s up for it. My brother travelled Europe with friends - they weren’t always together but had that option if they wanted to go out. We invited some of our couple friends on our honeymoon so hang out at the beach for a day or two bur the rest of the time we will be on our own.

Like everyone said so far, you're not being rude. If anything, most people I know leave the next day or go straight to the airport! Most guests are pretty similar too where they come in a couple days early then leave close afterwards.

Not to mention, its your wedding not a reunion. Sure it's nice to spend some time with your out-of-town guests but you're not obligated in any way to entertain them when they're there. Most people expect the newlyweds to leave on their honeymoon right away anyways, so I wouldn't worry about it. It sounds like your mom is just providing more of an opinion than anything (which I feel you, I'm getting the intensive mom opinion too!)

It's not rude at all - I have been to weddings where the couple left from the reception right to the airport! My mom's also being a nag about 'Why not have a gift opening brunch for your out of town guests." And I told her, flat out, we A) can't afford it B ) most of our out of town guests will be leaving early morning to head home and C) We have too much to do on the day after our wedding (taking down décor, cleaning the hall, etc).

We're waiting a week, but only because of how the logistics worked out with my FH's vacation time.

I mean...visit with your guests at your welcome/rehearsal dinner and wedding....then do what you have to do and enjoy it every step of the way!

Your honeymoon sounds lovely!

Many people leave for their honeymoon right after the wedding... and by right after I mean like that night, or the next morning. So a day buffer is totally ok, and I wouldn't worry too much.

If I had to travel for an out of town wedding on a Friday, I would come either Friday morning, or later Thursday night and then prepare to leave either Saturday night or Sunday morning. I would not worry about it at all.

As for your guest in the UK chances are she would arrive a couple days before your wedding to give her time to settle in. My sister is coming from Australia for our wedding and chances are she will come between 2 weeks and a week in advance.

Your honeymoon sounds amazing! And an even better feeling when that is booked and out of the way!

Lol! Im sorry but I had to laugh at this cuz my mom is giving me hell for the opposite! My Fiance and I are considering putting our honeymoon off for 6 months cuz the resort we want to go to is in the Bahamas and we'd be leaving beginning of June if we left after our wedding. And my mom thinks it crazy if we DONT immediatley leave on our honeymoon.
Goodluck to you! Moms are an interesting breed 😉

Moms...am I right?!

I can see where she's coming from, but since your wedding is on Friday, you theoretically have all of Saturday to visit with out-of-town guests. I've only been an out-of-town guest a few times where I had to stay overnight, but the next day, I had plans to head back home. Most of your out-of-town guests will probably be heading home either the Saturday or Sunday after.

As for the UK bridesmaid, she'll probably come more beforehand to help you out vs staying after. Even if she did, she would probably understand that you are on your HONEYMOON!

Definitely follow through with your plans! Is it not traditional for the B&G to leave for the honeymoon from the wedding??? (I mean I realize hardly anyone does this anymore but for arguments sake). I know when I am going to a wedding from out of town, its a 1 night maybe 2 night deal and then I am back home to normal life. I don't think most people take vacation time for that - although I guess that depends on what out of town means. And as for your BM - my guess is that she would also want to catch up before the wedding - not after.

We will have out of town guests, but no plans to visit with them after the wedding. I fully expect them to depart the day after the wedding, where FH and I will be recovering and packing to leave on our honeymoon the next day! I have family from across Canada, and friends from the Cayman Islands - no one has seemed offended by this being our plan.

You absolutely deserve to be excited about your plans and not have them dampened! Sounds like your mom just wants to have an opinion? Ignore it for sure. Sounds like such an exciting honeymoon. Love Banff ! Highly recommend the Willow Stream Spa in the Banff Springs Hotel if you want some extra pampering on your honeymoon.

I don't think that is too early. Visit with them Saturday, I imagine your out of town guests wont be staying that many days after the wedding before going home.

That's exactly what I would do! I mean, if I'm going to come into town for a wedding, I'm leaving on Sunday. If it's abroad, as a BM I would come early for the same reasons you've stated.

Stick to your gut, just make sure you try and make a brunch or something with those people so your Mom doesn't annoy you too much about it