Rehearsal dinner/post-wedding brunch: invites, hosting, logistics

We did rehearsal dinner for wedding party and their families, our parents, and others involved in the wedding (the pastor, DJ, mc were all friends so they were invited). No one got an official invite to that because I didn’t know that was a thing because I had never been sent an invitation whenever I had been. For the brunch, we invited out of towners and our parents. We sent out an email for that since everyone was paying for themselves and it was an informal thing.

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YAASSS!! That's exactly the vibe I want

View quoted message Yes! I’m totally for the open house vibe. Like “come over and we’ll feed you before we send you on your way”, and maybe there will be a sports game on, and maybe children will be playing in the back yard, and it will have an easy peasy, thanks for coming vibe!👍🏾

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We're also thinking of doing an open house type thing for the brunch, that way people can come in, grab a bite, visit for a bit and then head home! That way it isn't 75 people all at once.

The hotel has a check-out time of 11am - most guests will probably leave by then and those invited to brunch will either get their luggage in the car and come back and join us or just head out before 11 am.

We’re having a welcome dinner but nixing the day after brunch bc we’re having a brunch reception. This will give guests and opportunity to explore the city on their own without feeling obligated to attend another wedding weekend event.

And even though we’re not officially scheduling a day after brunch it’s very likely that there will be an impromptu gathering of friends/family, instead of an almost third wedding reception.

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The rehearsal guest list is good, the only concern with it is that my parents try and take over control of it.

Ideally, our brunch was going to be a 'thanks for putting up with us for the past 2 years' to our wedding party, parents, immediate family but the more I looked into it, the more I see all out of town guests, which is basically the whole wedding again. Then I thought I'd narrow it down by family which takes the numbers from 130 out of towners to 75. Plus my mom says we should invite aunts/uncles

Rehearsal dinner - immediate family, wedding party (their dates/spouses...its not necessary. but its nice). I wouldn't even invite the friends that the host wants. the point of a rehearsal dinner is to be intimate/wedding party and immediate family together

Brunch - I have been a bridesmaid 12 times. and have been a wedding guest way to many times. i have gone to 2 day after brunches. they are not necessary. but if you are hosting/paying for one, its up to you who you invite. but i would just open it up to who is at the hotel (if you are hosting it at the hotel/venue)

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The more I think about it, the more it makes sense to have separate invites, just seems like a lot of postage going to the same people lol.

I like the idea of "Hungover Brunch" it's very cute lol My FH do want to host one since we probably won't get to visit too much with all the family. Some might get up earlier before brunch too to get back home. I also didn't want the brunch to be a big thing but with all aunts/uncles/cousins it adds up a lot

My rehearsal dinner will only be for immediate family and the people in the wedding part. The must have people. (S/O's of the wedding party are invited as well.)

As for how the invitations should go out - I do think that they should be separate invitations and say who they are from on them. So for the rehearsal dinner if it's your FH's parents hosting - it should say that "The parents of _____ ask you to join in the rehearsal dinner...." and then for the wedding - just a normal invite or have the same time of thing but "ask you join them for the wedding of their Daughter, Allison ____ to ______". For the brunch you can send out either a cute little "Hangover Brunch" type of thing or just "let the party continue" type of invite from you and you then Hubby

TLDR;

Rehearsal = Immediate Friends and fam by invite of parents who are hosting

Wedding = Guest list by invite of parents who are hosting

Brunch = Offer to out of town guests by invite from bride and groom

Don't stress! Besides, lots of people don't have rehearsal dinners or brunches anyway