Registry and Monetary Gift

I think that if you want you physical gifts then create a registry so you get exactly what you need/ want. Most people will give a registry gift for a wedding shower and cash for wedding gift. So consider having a shower if you want both, but never expect gifts and stay within your means so that anything you do receive is a bonus.

View quoted message Omg, that is awesome, i love your terminology of memory bank, like my heart just swelled a little.

We welcome monetary and registry gifts. As simple and right to the point without having to create another card or printed paper to have a poem/note.

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I like your point about gifts being in tune with what you need/want and not wasting money. On that note, do you have any tips on how to let guests know what you need if you plan on having a registry?? (I don't plan on doing a wedding registry either)

I could see close family and friends doing both; however, I wouldn't expect other guests to as they may not be able to afford it due to also having to buy an outfit and attire for your wedding (especially when it comes to the bridal party as they may have additional expenses from being directly involved in your wedding).

If you have smaller items on your registry, both could be doable!

People usually give a monetary gift or buy something off the registry not both. If this is what is expected of guests, most will be surprised and the couple should rethink things a little.

View quoted message If a bride is expecting guests (wedding party or not) to buy them a physical gift and give them cash I think they need to rethink their priorities. If someone chooses to do that cause they can afford it and want to that’s great but wow the expectation is a bit much.
And if that sounds a bit too judgmental I’m sorry I don’t mean for it to be. Just very shocking.

Thank you all for clarifying. I wanted to see because the last time when I was a bridesmaid (it was my first time), I had a lot of expenses but my friend the BRIDE also expected us to buy a gift from the registry and a monetary gift at the time of her wedding. So in my mind; that was the norm.

I had money given to us and no one complained. One family didn't give it and i was pissed at them. We no longer talk.

There isn't anything wrong to ask for monetary gifts to use for whatever you need at home or for your honeymoon later on. It does help to not have any gifts to pack end of the day.

Don't let anyone tell you otherwise its rude or wrong to let your guests of the heads up.

As a bride, I am not expecting anything. I'm hosting a wedding with my FH to celebrate our love and marriage. We're absolutely hoping that we get monetary gifts because it's good social etiquette, but by no way is it expected. We're not having a registry either because we already live together and have everything we need.

View quoted message Yes, that makes sense. Thank you.

We are doing a mini-destination so everyone is traveling min. 4-5 hrs to attend and stay for a few days. We are well established and need nothing, and honestly don't want any physical things. We have asked that in lieu of gifts that guests attend one of the events we have planned (at their cost such as golfing, wine tasting etc) and help us to instead build our memory bank. There is enough expense involved that I would hate someone not come out with the group for an afternoon of fun just to be able to save that extra $100 to put in our card. That will be much more special to us.

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If you make your Honeymoon fund BOTH your bridal shower AND wedding registry, people may not like being asked for money twice...

However, I don't expect gifts and/or big gifts for my bridal shower, so we are going to register for new towels, bedding, cutlery, some serving dishes, new glasses, etc.... More like, $20-60 range gifts... So people have the chance to buy, wrap, give an actual gift. (Also my bridal shower and wedding are about 5 months apart, so they aren't spending 2 sums of money close together)...

Then the wedding registry is just our Honeymoon Fund. I have done a page on our wedding website explaining why it's important to us, and and how contributing is the greatest gift they can give us.

I think asking for money AND gifts, or money at both events, might not go over well with some guests... however it is up to you. People (mostly women) like shopping for gifts, so giving them one event for physical gifts, and one event for monetary gifts, will give a nice balance.

View quoted message And this is ok to do? To ask people to support your “Hunnyfund” in Lieu of a Bridal and Wedding Registry?

This is one of the main reasons we will probably skip the bridal shower registry. Let's cut straight to the truth and past the "not expecting anything". It's a thing that happens. People get married. The people who attend the wedding give presentation. To try and "encourage" our guests to provide presentation at the wedding we are cutting the bridal shower gifts. Although yes, in my family if we are invited to bridal shower we give a $50 gift or lower and at the wedding we give around $75/head to pay for the meal out of courtesy. It's what people do - or should do (IMO). If you want to insure that you get money rather than a gift (if at all; because people can be cheap/broke), then maybe include a note in the wedding invitation saying something like I will be doing:

"Our life together has already begun, we have almost everything under the sun. If you should wish to buy us a gift, a little extra money would give us a lift. But most importantly, we request, you share our day as our wedding guest. Now that we've save you any fuss, we can't wait for you to celebrate with us!"

I am doing a physical registry for my bridal shower, but then it will be closed. There won't be a gift registry option for the wedding, we are just asking for contributions to our honeymoon. I don't expect anything, but obviously people generally buy/give gifts, so I want to make sure their options are deliberately in tune with what we want/need, so people aren't wasting their money...

We were expecting some gifts because most of my fiance's family has been to many weddings and a lot of them have been giving similar gifts for years. However, we didn't register anywhere since we had to travel out of province for our wedding day, and I wasn't expecting anything from my family since they all had to travel to come to the wedding. We ended up getting a mixture of gifts and cards, which we were pleasantly surprised by, as most of the gifts were handmade (the best kind of gift!).

To be honest I don’t expect any gifts (family, friends, bridal party included). We did create registries at the bay and bed bath and beyond because family had been asking us for ideas and things we need (we just bought a house in November and moved in together so we haven’t bought much yet). I put a wide range of priced items on there to give people ideas but also said they can just use it as ideas of things we need.

If people choose to use the registry, gift cash, gift cards, or just show up to celebrate the day with us that’s all ok with me.

I am 100% not EXPECTING anything! Well rather, I am not basing any current decisions based off of what we MIGHT be getting from people.

I know we will get gifts from people, but I want them to remain as gifts and something extra and nothing expected.

We are not planning on using any monetary gifts given to us to pay off the wedding, but instead what ever we do get we will then put towards a later honeymoon or our house.

We will be opening a store registry and a monetary registry but again we are for sure not looking at it as something that is expected from people attending our wedding.