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Melissa
Beginner August 2022 Ontario

Plus ones

Melissa, on May 11, 2022 at 14:08 Posted in Plan a wedding 0 24
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Hello everyone! Just looking for an opinion on giving guests a “plus one”. For those who are single or don’t have a long term significant other is it still etiquette to provide them with a plus one? My worry is that we will end up having guests who bring their buddies or friends that we don’t know and will then have to pay for. Please dispute me if I am wrong. Just not sure what the appropriate thing to do is. Especially when giving out all these plus ones to our guests may make our numbers for our venue very tight.

24 Comments

Latest activity by Vinod, on May 19, 2022 at 14:17
  • Vinod
    Featured August 2017 Ontario
    Vinod ·
    • Dispute

    I am on the same page on plus ones being invited by others guests besides family. The numbers can add up easily. Family on the other hand, they should have plus ones since their other half is coming into the family and should meet the family to have fun too. I was reluctant to some of my husbands co workers asking for plus ones on their own when it should be our choice. Indian weddings don't have plus ones as the guests names invited are printed on the label or by family.

    • Reply
  • Tunisha
    Featured October 2021 Ontario
    Tunisha ·
    • Dispute
    Hello Melissa,
    I believe if you know your friends that do have long-term relationships, you give them the plus one options and those without, do not give them plus ones.

    We only had married or engaged couples. Our other friends (because it was Covid as well) did not get that option for us. Unless we know they are in a long-term relationship.
    I think do what’s best for you & your SO. Also, how you see it working out at the wedding too.
    • Reply
  • G
    Beginner October 2022 Ontario
    Giuseppina ·
    • Dispute

    Hey Melissa!

    I totally get what you're saying. I will be inviting plus ones for couples who I know have been together for awhile. It does become difficult to include plus ones for EVERYONE especially if you are on a budget for your wedding.

    GQ

    • Reply
  • Yami
    Curious October 2022 Ontario
    Yami ·
    • Dispute
    Singles with no SO’s won’t get plus ones in our wedding!
    • Reply
  • Dessa
    Curious September 2023 British Columbia
    Dessa ·
    • Dispute
    We are maxed at 50 including us. Very few singles are invited and if they aren't in any sort of relationship at the time the 'save the dates' go out then no plus one. I know that each one will understand...plus everyone invited knows at least a few people attending so they won't feel alone.
    • Reply
  • Lindsey
    Beginner October 2022 Ontario
    Lindsey ·
    • Dispute
    We have also been thinking about this. For our friends/family who are not in committed relationships but they don’t know anyone at the wedding we will consider giving them a plus 1. Singles who have friends/family attending the wedding we will not give a plus 1 to.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Curious September 2023 Ontario
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute

    I'm struggling too.. we already kind of know who has a plus 1 and who doesn't that's how we decided on a almost final guest count , but wondering to just include a plus 1 to certain invites and hoping those people realize wedding etiquette and that they can't just bring a random person especially since our wedding is still a year away and things could change by then

    • Reply
  • Daily
    Featured August 2022 Ontario
    Daily ·
    • Dispute
    I feel the same way too!! Couple of my husband’s friends don’t have a long term relationship just a few months, I don’t feel like I want to give them a plus one! But my husband said they’ll want to bring someone too. Who wants to be alone at a wedding? I plus one mean number, number means money!! I agree with Malyssa. One of our friends went through three boyfriends within two years. So I said I guess your plus one will change again if I postponed My wedding the third time😂😂😂.
    • Reply
  • KELLY
    Featured October 2023 Ontario
    KELLY ·
    • Dispute

    I can see both sides. We are going to offer a plus one to our single guests- there's only 4 guests that are single and may bring a plus one.... not too hard hard on the budget.

    • Reply
  • Andrew
    Newbie September 2022 Ontario
    Andrew ·
    • Dispute
    The old rule of thumb was that if a relationship is a year or more, the plus one is expected. Anything less is optional and your choice.
    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Curious June 2022 Quebec
    Rebecca ·
    • Dispute
    We have decided no plus one. Our friends are coming without their spouses. Very simple, we wanted people we know and care there, and not randoms
    • Reply
  • Katherina
    Newbie September 2022 Ontario
    Katherina ·
    • Dispute

    We decided to do a backyard wedding, so we have very limited space. We explained to everyone ahead of time that we are only allowing/giving a plus one to current married couples or serious long-term relationships only. We made it very clear that we did not have the space for extra plus one's (especially those with brand new relationships). After our RSVP deadline, we had a few empty seats, so we went back and offered those individuals to bring a plus one.

    • Reply
  • Adriana
    Newbie July 2024 Alberta
    Adriana ·
    • Dispute
    What my sister did at her wedding and what my fiancé and I are also planning to do is no +1’s to anyone that has not been in an established relationship (at least a year) for the exact reason that we don’t want random people there who will just come eat and leave. I’d say follow your gut and go with no plus ones if someone is really really upset about it you can deal with it with them individually but I’m sure people will understand and when in doubt just tell them you needed to keep your numbers down to a specific number 😂
    • Reply
  • Biljana
    Newbie October 2022 Alberta
    Biljana ·
    • Dispute

    We have decided to NO plus one's. Our wedding is 60 people. Even our 18-year-old daughter doesn't get one as she goes through boys like socks! This has been a 12-year engagement and we want to look at our photos and videos and not have to wonder who the strangers were on our special day. Unless they're in a committed relationship at the time of the invites, at this point only one niece gets to bring her fiancee.

    • Reply
  • Carine
    Frequent user September 2023 Ontario
    Carine ·
    • Dispute

    My guest list is 35 people including the party, I included the plus one for family and their loved ones that I am close with, for example my cousin and her husband, I was raised with both of them so her plus one is him. I have a friend that I am close to for 15 years never met her 4 year BF and since my guest list is small, it's unfair to use that spot for someone I never met over a family member. I am also going to a wedding and unfortunately I do not have a plus one, she did say depending on the RSVP's if people backed out then she would let me know. It all depends on your budget, if the budget permits it then go for it. If you are reducing friends and family to be able to add a plus one it's kind of not fair.

    Your wedding your rules.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Frequent user April 2022 Ontario
    Danielle ·
    • Dispute

    We gave everyone a plus one with the understanding that they could bring anyone at all they wanted. I would hate to go to a wedding alone and didn't want that for our guests - Including ones who are single. They say to invite 25% more people than you anticipate anyways and if your venue has a minimum guest count, it helps with that as well. In the end, it didn't cause our numbers to explode like we may have thought and everyone seemed to have the best time! Some people still chose to come solo but I'm happy to have given them the choice.

    • Reply
  • Derek
    Frequent user September 2022 Alberta
    Derek ·
    • Dispute
    We are inviting 'plus ones' to our wedding. Most of the guests are younger adults (especially my fiancee's nephews & nieces) who have girlfriends/boyfriends or spouses, and it only made sense to us to include them in the invitations.
    • Reply
  • Kara
    Frequent user June 2022 Ontario
    Kara ·
    • Dispute
    It is proper etiquette to invite a plus one. It should not matter who a guest chooses to bring.
    I disagree with those who are saying that certain etiquettes are “a thing of the past”… while it is your day, and you can invite whomever you choose, I just feel it’s very rude to not extend that to people.
    • Reply
  • Carmel
    Featured December 2020 Ontario
    Carmel ·
    • Dispute
    View quoted message
    This. We ended up with a covid 50 person wedding so that helped but no one was shocked to not recieve a plus one if they were not in a relationship. That being said, if we had had someone traveling from far and knew no-one we likely would have given them one. One of our groomsmen's girlfriends wasn't even invited because we had met her once and they actually offered for her not to be invited given restrictions. We ended up inviting her as we had the space and she still didn't come lol. Pretty sure he didn't want her there though 😆
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Featured August 2022 British Columbia
    Amanda ·
    • Dispute
    We have given everyone a plus one. On our invites we've stated "we've reserved 2 seats in your honour". As long as they show up to your wedding regardless of who they bring you should be grateful! I would hate going to a wedding by myself.
    • Reply
  • Rayanne
    Featured June 2022 Ontario
    Rayanne ·
    • Dispute
    We gave everyone the option of a plus one. I don't care who they choose as their plus one. I've brought a female friend with me as my plus one to a wedding when my (now ex) wasnt able to come with me and I've been a plus one at a wedding my friend was invited to. I would have had a miserable time without my plus one.
    • Reply
  • Brittany
    Frequent user August 2023 Alberta
    Brittany ·
    • Dispute

    We are doing a micro wedding next year and those who are not in a relationship now on our guest list will not be getting a plus one next year. We have a very limited number of people allowed at our reception (32) and I will only be renting 32 chairs for the ceremony and if someone brings a plus-one that they are not supposed to I have no problem telling them to leave.

    • Reply
  • Liberty
    Featured May 2022 Alberta
    Liberty ·
    • Dispute
    What we did for single guests, was no plus ones unless they didn't know anyone coming to the wedding. For example my Fiancés group of friends from high school didn't get plus ones because they all know each other and will have a good time together. One of his friends from later in life doesn't know anyone other than us so we gave him a plus one to help make sure he will have a good time and feel comfortable at the wedding.
    • Reply
  • Malyssa
    Featured October 2022 Alberta
    Malyssa ·
    • Dispute

    HI fellow Melissa!

    For me, if they are not in a long term relationship with someone, they do not get a plus one.

    What may have been tradition or etiquette in the past, is no longer as true these days. Most peoples advice when it comes to these things is "do what makes you happy" as this is your day, not theirs.

    • Reply

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