Plus ones?

First of all: HOLY CRAP you have a lot of cousins...

Our rule was: "No Randoms", if we haven't met you/seen your face, or don't know your name, you're not invited. Our wedding invites went out with every single guest's name on it, including any boyfriends/girlfriends who were invited. If you break up, you do not have an open plus one, or if you starting dating someone less than 2 months before the wedding, it's highly unlikely they are invited.

The "fuzzy" line with having rules about spouses or bf/gf's is that: nowadays, some of those bf/gf relationships are more serious/longer than the married ones. I think you can play it by ear on a couple-to-couple basis, based on who you know, and how close you are to them.

I also don't think anyone under 19 need a plus one option... our wedding is no kids, so we don't have to worry about that anyways, except I have one cousin who is the only cousin between my FH and I who is under 19, and he will not be allowed to bring his high school girlfriend.

When it comes down to it, it's your wedding, and your budget... if you don't know those people, you are under no obligation to invite them. If your relatives choose not to come because you don't have room for their bf/gf, then they aren't that close to you to be there anyways IMO. If you have a huge budget, and a big enough venue, to accommodate everyone? That's up to you too. But don't feel like you HAVE TO do anything.

We are offering the plus one option to long term boyfriends and girlfriends of our guests. And I just realized I forgot to put my first cousin (I only have 3 lol) on my guest list... Good thing it is only a rough draft!!! So people who have been dating for 1 year get a plus one. We just can't afford to invite everyone, especially if we haven't met them!

I am paddling the same boat as you, so I'm not much help but generally I've decided to address the invitations to my friends and family only and not offer the option of a plus one. I know some people will call and request and that's fine, but omitting the option on the invite just leaves people having to confirm with me first, and I like that because I'm a control freak.

View quoted message We felt the same way as you. All our guests get a plus one.

Plus ones was not an option for anyone we knew except for 2 people who demanded to have it done that way to be invited. Mainly family and close friends were only there present. The card itself had the invitees on it and no one else. Our list was particular and stuck to it.

As a person who has been a plus one to many weddings (including for those in bridal party), I'm going to stick with my mantra of: "NO RING; NO BRING". I now have to live with the fact that I am in somebody's wedding photos (some photos are "Family" shots) and am no longer in their lives. I've only been planning my wedding for four months and I've had "long term couples" (ranging anywhere between 2-8 years) break up already and I had to delete people off the guest list and shuffle seating charts.

I think extending the option would be great in your case if you are willing to throw on an extra 50 people, it would definitely be a livelier celebration! I agree with Vanessa's answer as well, that is what I am doing.

View quoted message I agree with this. Anyone who is in a serious relationship will likely apply to this anyway.

But like the others said, if you can afford to invite 50 more people to your wedding and want to, then I don’t see a problem!

It always comes down to budget first. because if you figure all of those cousins bring a plus one, there is 50 other people at your wedding.

For us. we are giving plus ones. the majority of people at our wedding are in relationships. the ones that aren't we are letting them choose. (it would be about 10-15 with plus ones). my one guy friend said he doesn't always bring a plus one, but its nice to have the option. and I agree with him.

if they are cousins under 18. I wouldn't give them plus ones. if its a budget factor. then go with only S/O's that you or FH have met.

My opinion is that if I know their plus one enough to address the invitation with their name on it then they are invited. People who I would need to put "and guest" on the invitation are not invited and are welcome to join us after dinner for dancing. The only exception to this would be my immediate family (i.e- my brother or cousin who are not currently dating anyone but might be by the time the wedding comes)

IMO if you can afford it and have the room - it's always nice to extend the option of a plus one. If you are like me and don't, then I would keep it limited to those who's S/O's you have met or know have been together for longer than 6 months. Otherwise keep it to just the cousin and if they reach out tell them you are limited on space but will give them a plus one if you can squeeze them in.

For our cousins, we are only giving plus ones to the partners we have met - which in our case all of the couples are married. IMO I don’t really consider this a “plus one”, I just consider it inviting our family to the wedding. I would consider a “plus one” an open invitation for someone to choose their guest - a concept I don’t really feel comfortable with in general. As other brides have said, I don’t really want to be meeting people for the first time at my wedding/paying for people I don’t know and may possibly never see again. Like you, my FH has about 20 cousins so that would add up fast for us. I think having some sort of objective criteria (e.g. dating 6+ months, cousin is 18+) would help minimize the drama of giving plus ones based on “seriousness” of the relationship. Most of our family will be at the wedding so it’s not like cousins need a plus one so they’ll “know somebody”. Ultimately do what will make you happy and makes sense for your family dynamic.

We gave everyone over the age of 18 a plus one. I wasn’t going to try and figure out who had a serious relationship and who didn’t. For some people it’s serious only after just a couple of months. And people may not want to call me to a wedding where they can’t bring their boyfriend or girlfriend. Or we are ok with people bringing a friend.

Buts that just how we feel. There is no right or wrong answer. It’s your wedding.

Honestly if they’re not in a relationship that’s fairly steady there’s absolutely no need for them to have a plus one. They’re adults, they’ll entertain themselves. My rule of thumb is if they’ve been together for 6 months prior to invitations going out or if I’ve met them more than once, then they get a plus one. I’m not paying $57 a head for a meal for some random person who they just met.

I think if you have a cousin under the age of 18, they shouldn’t get a plus one, but if it’s someone over the age of 18, give them one. I agree with Stephanie that it’s just nicer for the guests to have the option to bring someone.

Our wedding is mainly family. So anyone who has a significant other that they are engaged, married, or been together long enough that we have met them, they will get a plus one.
I have a couple younger cousins who are 16,20 who don’t have a steady partner, and we don’t really want random people we haven’t met at our wedding since it is largely family oriented.
It really depends on you and your FH and what makes you guys more comfortable. Budget could also be a factor. That was the biggest thing for us when it came to figuring out plus ones

Personally for us we allowed everyone who didnt have an immediate significant other we knew to have a plus one! Some of our friends are single and I feel like for them even having an extra friend come can help make their night better! We have some people in new relationships ships or no relationships yet but are allowing THEM to make the decision! Not us! I cant stand making decisions for other people who to invite who not to invite, who gets a plus one who brings kids. That's just my personal opinion though!