Plus One - How Are You Managing It?

We are budgeting for plus ones, esencially anyone who is in a relationship we are almost expecting a plus one. We figure we wouldn't have liked it if any of our friends invited us to their wedding and didn't give us a plus one, as we had been in a long term relationship

Plus ones are tricky. My FH and I are generally following these guidelines set for ourselves:

- Anyone with a S.O. (dating, married, whatever) we are allowing a plus one and specifying the names on invitations.

- Anyone who wants to "swap" for another person, like if their S.O. can't come, we need to who it is (There are some friend of friends who, for personal reasons, we don't want there)

- The one person who doesn't have a significant other in the bridal party is getting a plus one

- Any other guests don't get a plus one, but, if they call and we validly oops on them having a S.O., that person will be on the top of the spaces when we get some "no" replies.

We both have large families and mine is larger and we aren’t able to invite all our friends to the reception. For us if people are married, living together or are in a serious committed relationship we have given them a plus one. For the most part we have adressed it using their names.

I am having a dilemma with my SIL, she want a plus one to bring one of her buddy’s from college and I’m just concerned as it’s one of her friends she parties and drinks with. At 74 dollars a plate part of me wants to say okay if you want your plus one then you have to pay for it and I don’t feel that to be mean, but because I can’t invite all my friends to the wedding reception. Also she’s in the wedding party as I caved to that and she will be at the head table. She’s not as close to her other cousins so part of me feels like I’m obligated to let her have her plus one. I dunno yet what I’ll do.

We are addressing the invitation as "so and so & family", we are inviting kids to the wedding, up to the parents if they want to bring them. We only have a handful of singles we are inviting so we are adding a plus one for them. We are capping the guest count at 200, so we are including the plus ones. That way if they decide not to bring someone it's up to them. I've been to many weddings were I didn't have the option to bring someone and I was always stuck at the back table with the other singles. Not as fun as some think.

We’re offering any and all our guests plus ones. It was a decision that we never had an issue with because we’ve budgeted for it and think it’s polite to our guests.

For us, we're generally giving plus-ones for those who are married/engaged/living together (ie there's a good chance that the relationship will last). There is a few exceptions to this (ie very few but extreme cases).

When invitations go out, hopefully we'll know who is in a serious relationship and who is not. In most cases we'll know the person and address to both people. If they are not, we won't give out a plus one right away, the invite will be addressed to that person ONLY. If they get into a relationship (no casual dates) and they really want to bring that person, we'll review on a case-by-case basis and allow if we get enough no-RVSPs.

If a single in our wedding party wants to bring a plus-one we don't know, we'll allow it since they are helping us out.

With our guest list we decided to first of all only invite those who can legally drink (18+) and go from there. Our max is 250 for the venue so we subtracted all of our close family as well as ourselves and the vendors that would need meals. For close family we will be inviting all of our first cousins and their S/O's but that would be because they are all either married/engaged or have been together for longer than me and my FH! lol

When it comes to those who are single we decided to only invite them and if we hear closer to the wedding that they have met somebody then we will reach out to them if they don't first.

Like Brittany said - the invitations will be addressed to the couple we are inviting and not as a guest or plus 1.

If we find that closer to the wedding there are spots that we could fill then by all means we will try and fill them as we are already paying for those spots but we would request the RSVP's by the 2 month mark probably.

In the beginning, anyone over 19 that was being invited was getting a plus one. But then I started to think about money and only inviting people that were important to us as a couple.

If they were married or engaged, that is a different story and those individuals will get a plus 1.

But if they are not in a serious relationship, or I have not met them, chances are they will not get a plus 1. my FH is ok with that because we didn't want a big wedding to begin with.

We gave everyone a plus one. People are traveling 4 hours and staying at a hotel to join us for our wedding, so it wasn’t even a question for us. I don’t expect them to travel alone and be alone except for the 6 hours we are having a dinner. There are a couple people we won’t know at our wedding, but that’s ok! On the other hand, I can see why it would bother some people. Plus, weddings are expensive and if you’re trying to cut down a list, it’s better to invite people you know and have a relationship with. The plus one thing can be a touchy subject, so I’m glad my FH and I agreed right away. We both wouldn’t want to go to a wedding without eachother as well.

I agree to the fact that the people with SO and knowing others would be given. For other guests, no by all means.

I was very particular about plus 1's as Indian wedding guest lists are by guests name and families.

We limited it to people who we knew would bring someone that we had met. We made a couple of exceptions. What makes you happy is the most important thing, but the second most important thing is getting to enjoy the day with loved ones, and your loved ones do enjoy the day more when they get to share that with someone. I'll also say, its ok to give some people a plus one and not others. My friends who did not get a plus one are not in the least upset about it.

We gave plus ones to everyone who was in a relationship. There were a few people who we thought were single, but were actually seeing others so we accommodated in the end. It’s a touchy subject, but I would suggest thinking of a rule that you would be okay applying to yourself and then applying that to your guests equally. If you would be okay with someone inviting you, but not your FH (and vice versa) because X,Y,Z, then go that route.

We're limiting plus-ones because we're having a really small venue. I think it depends on what you can afford and who you really want there. If you're strapped, I think some compromises need to be made.

I originally wanted to limit plus ones (would allow significant others even if we hadn't met them). I wanted to keep numbers down/costs. but then with talking to friends and looking at our list. there are only about 5-6 people that wouldn't get a plus one. so for that small of an amount we are giving them plus ones. one of my good guy friends said it well "while I probably won't bring a plus one unless i'm in a relationship. I like the option as I would like someone to spend the night/talk with if I don't know a lot of people."

made sense to me. plus I think to the couple of weddings that I have been to and wasn't allowed a plus one (I was the single girl FOREVER). and it didn't make for as enjoyable of a wedding for me (regardless of how many people I knew).

and then I look at they estimate that about 20% of your guest list won't be able to make it to your wedding. so for those 5-6 extra people. its not gonna break my budget.

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I agree with you 100% - Glad to see that I'm not the only one thinking this way. Thank you for your feedback

Our rule was: If we haven't met them, they aren't invited.

My FH and I both stuck to that rule, and even a couple of his buddies who have girlfriends... if we barely see you, and we've never met her... she's not on the A-List of invites.

So guests who are in relationships when our invitations go out, that person's name is on the invitation, no one has "John Smith & Guest"... it's a specific person. If you break up before the wedding, your new gf/bf is not invited...

What we figured was, when the invitations go out about 3ish months before, if you aren't dating someone then, you're probably not going to be super serious with someone new you meet by the wedding... And if you are... well by then we'll probably have declined RSVPs, and can adjust on a person to person basis.

Overall, if you don't have a name to put on the invitation, they shouldn't have a plus one. My fiance wanted plus ones to start, but after thinking about it, agreed with me that we didn't want random people at our wedding.