Planning question

I swear, if we hadn’t already put so much into deposits, this is exactly what we would do. The planning process is a lot more overwhelming that one would honestly think it is. And so many decisions, big and small. FH and I say all the time that if we hadn’t put the deposit down for the venues, we would definitely just have eloped. Haha

We almost did just that. Everything turned out perfectly, but we seriously considered eloping at one point.

Go for it!!

Weddings are for the two of you! If you want something small, thats what you should do. Dont worry about anyone else

On a daily basis I say, "Let's just elope!" Lol As brides planning their own wedding it's crazy stressful, I had no idea it would be. I've been engaged 6 months and I've already encounter more than enough unnecessary drama. I agree with you, the more into planning I get the more expensive it seems.. I'm afraid we are going to stretch out budget to far at times!

View quoted message Yeah that's why I loved the idea of a small wedding. Our "biggest deal" portin of our list is 50 or so. I'm more than okay with that lol - I'd like to do that and then have the 200 or so all invited to a drinks and dancing type thing. I think that's where we're heading, the thought of trying to pay for over 200 people is actually terrifying me lmao

View quoted message Right!? That's my problem too lol - even if we go "closest family only" that's still 50 people or more. I have 4 parents, 6 siblings, two brothers and a sister in law, 6 nieces, 2 nephews, and 3 grandmothers. He's got 2 parents, 2 siblings, a brother in law, 1 niece, and 2 nephews. Also our wedding party because we've already asked them lol

View quoted message Yeah "his side" of the list is only about 75 hahaha - right now we're thinking something small (parents, siblings and wedding party) either at the courthouse, or in his parents' back yard or something, and then a dancing and drinks style reception at a hall in the area 🤔

When it was coming to our decision for court wedding, the cost seemed the same for a dinner or so. My husband then ckose to do a small wedding. It was perfect as some did and the intimate feeling of family and close friends. Large weddings don't give that same feeling. I had started our shopping 18 months prior and research for vendor s.

We've barely just started to really get into it and we're already cutting down the guest lists. We're aiming for a max of 70 people but it's terrible to cut out family members LOL. We're deeply considering the city hall option at this point.

I totally understand. Your guest size is similar to my side as well while my FH has at the highest 50 ppl. You just need to know what you and your FH really want. At the end of the day, its your happiness that matters, and your family should be there to support your decision whether that maybe a trip to the court house or a expensive wedding.

You guys just do you!

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Of course anytime

View quoted message True. I like that, thank you

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Yeah I just thought of things that need to replaced in time like Towels, FH wants new dishes, bed sheets. Those items will be used eventually haha even if not right away

View quoted message Awesome, thank you! I'll keep that in mind ❤❤

View quoted message Hey if that's what you want them do it! I was just at a wedding last summer that was all immediate family 20-30 people and it was amazing! One of the best weddings we have been to! You feel a lot more love and not as overwhelmed. So honestly if that's what you want to do, then do it! Don't worry about what other people think because no matter what you do, someone will always complain. Just remember to not let them get to you!

View quoted message Yeah that's our problem too, we don't really need a lot as we're in our own place and mostly have everything we need

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Us too. We got ideas from FMIL. As in my culture (chinese) money is traditionally given and my FH and I live together and have done so for about 4 yrs so we don't really need anything.

View quoted message Yeah we're still working on our registry, no idea what to put on it lol

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I would still recommend doing some "gift registry" items (towels, new dishes, bed sheet sets. These are some of the things we will have on our registry) just in case for those that aren't fond of giving money or prefer to give a physical gift. But with that large amount of guests you shouldn't have too much trouble receiving mainly honey fund gifts.

View quoted message Well my absolute "need them there" list is about 40 people and thats mainly parents, siblings, and nieces and nephews so I don't even know if we can just go to the courthouse 🙈😂 but I really wanted something small, and forgot that I have a ridiculously large family LOL

And then my fiance suggested we go down with our closest (parents, my nan, siblings/SOs, nieces, nephews, people we've chosen as our wedding party) and then have a dance only type reception at a hall for everyone. I just don't want to feel like I'm being a big jerk by doing it that way

View quoted message Oh cool, I didn't think of that (using "money gifts" to help pay for the wedding 🤔🤔) that's a great idea. Hhmmm

I totally feel you there! It adds up so quick and in some ways I think maybe I should have eloped. But then I remember we will be sharing our special day with people we love. Just remember you can pay things off slowly, it doesn't have to be all at once. And remember to take breaks in planning. It helps the stress level so much!

This is something that you will feel A LOT! Especially with your larger family. In the end it comes down to fine combing the guest list....is everyone invited close to you or are they family friends that your parents want to have invited? Are you going extravagant with your wedding, is there anything you can take out from your wedding? EX: we aren't doing a cake, we are just having the dessert that the plated dinner provides.

It is YOUR day, you can do things how you want it. The sad thing with vendors the moment you mention "wedding" price goes up! Depending on the date of your wedding you could say "graduation" price will still be up there but not as pricey as "wedding" prices. For small things like decorations buy 2nd hand, or hit the dollar stores.

Or instead of doing physical gifts, you could do honey fund. Normally those are used towards the honeymoon but you can put it towards the payment of the wedding instead.

View quoted message Great, thank you. I wasn't sure if I'd come off as an asshole if I changed my mind and decided not to have a big wedding lol

I agree. It is about you and your significant other. Everyone else's ideas and plans can take a walk. If you want less than 100 people at your wedding? Go for it! People seem to think it is ok to push their ideas on you and make demands of who or what should be involved. Feel free to stand up for your vision and say "I want it my way thank you".

View quoted message I love that. Yes, thank you! It's been a conflicting situation to say the least LOL

What I have learned from my planning process is do what you want to do for your wedding. This day is about you and your FH and no one else, so incorpaortae what ever you want in your wedding. Don't want to have a sit down dinner? Then don't. Don't want to get married in a church? Then don't. There have been times where I thought well what will people think or my parents have said that wont do for a wedding. I then quickly remember this is the one and only time in my life that I can do this for me and my FH and I decide this together. It doesn't matter what people think, this is your day to express your love and you can show that however you chose to celebrate it!